10-02-2023, 12:53 PM
2 of 2 for Religious Wright
======
It is time now for another glorious, uplifting worship service at the obscenely expensive Family Life and Worship Center at The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas. Only now the design of the worship center has changed dramatically. As per the orders of pastor John Wright, all decorations and all images of James Evans have been stricken from the walls. Even the life size statue of James has been destroyed and the James Evans monster truck is off to the landfill to be done away with. Instead we see a 25 foot tall statue of Selena Frost near the front. Posters and other images of Selena Frost line the walls of the gymnasium turned worship center. Brother Douglas is standing on stage in blue denim overalls a stained white t-shirt and boots. The lights begin to play some flashy disco style lighting as Brother Douglas begins to play his electric guitar.
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
“JAMES EVANS SUCKS! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
The lights are enough to send even the most normal individual into an epileptic fit. But Wright is convinced that this is what is ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ in religious circles nowadays. Speaking of Wright, he emerges at the back entrance. His typical black liturgical garb is replaced by garb that is colored with a variety of blues, mostly bright sky blues. Religious Wright is carrying his holy book in his right hand and his flask of holy water in the other hand as he dances down the aisle to the music of Brother Douglas.
“UNDERGROUND INVITATIONAL! FUCK YEAH!”
“GONNA WIN IT ALL! FUCK YEAH!”
“WITH INTEGRITY! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
Some of the congregation have begun a mosh pit whilst Brother Douglas is banging out this killer guitar riff. Wright dances his way all the way to the front. He kisses some babies along the way, shakes some hands along the way. He kisses one woman on the cheek. Then he takes a second look, realizes how hot she is, and kisses her again, this time a lot more passionately and on the lips. The woman smacks him on the ass. He winks before turning and continues dancing towards the steps of the stage.
“RELIGIOUS WRIGHT! FUCK YEAH!”
“UNDERGROUND TITLE! FUCK YEAH!”
“WIN IT WITH INTEGRITY! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
Wright makes it to the stage and steps behind a podium. Brother Douglas stops his playing to allow Wright time to speak. Wright turns to face Brother Douglas.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation, I give to you your pastor, your shepherd of the flock, and your future SCW Underground Champion…” Wright leans over and whispers into Brother Douglas’s ear “...sorry folks, the future SCW INTEGRITY Champion, RELIGIOUS WRIGHT!”
The congregation cheers loudly and applauds. They’re probably being paid to cheer but who the hell cares? It looks good! Wright takes a few bows for his sheep…err, people.
“Now my brothers and my sisters, I am sure you have noticed that our Family Life and Worship Center here at at The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas has undergone quite a few changes. All of the graven images to that false idol, that false prophet James The Heathen Evans have been taken down and burned! No more shall the name James Evans be spoken in this sanctuary! Am I right, Brother Douglas?”
“That’s right, pastor! The name Jame Evans is banned!” And with that, Wright smacks Douglas in the back of his head.
“I just said DO NOT say his name!
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok! Because my brothers and my sisters, even though HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED hath forsaken the name of the LAWD, all is not lost! When the good LAWD closes one door, another one is opened! I opened that door, I opened that door and I set foot into the door opened to me by the LAWD and what did I behold?!”
“A new money making scheme?” Brother Douglas asks. Again he is smacked by Wright.
“NO! I beheld the truth! A truth that the LAWD hath been keeping from me for a long time now! You see, my brothers and my sisters, sometimes you have to go through challenges in life, challenges that the LAWD himself hath given. But I met those challenges. I endured the brutality of Adam Brock. I endured Sarah The Wolf. I even endured the betrayal of HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED! And because of my steadfast loyalty to the LAWD, because of my endurance during these trials and tribulations…”
“Are we on the second or third tribulation now, pastor Wright?”
“Third.” Wright answers. “The first ended with my confrontation with Brock. The second ended with HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED betraying me. Now we are on our third tribulation.”
“Gotcha!” Brother Douglas flashes him a thumbs up.
“As I was saying, my steadfast loyalty and endurance during these tribulations hath granted me a reward from the good LAWD above! I now see the truth! And the truth is not in a false prophet, oh no! The truth can be found in the brand new goddess of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas…SELENA FROST!”
“SELENA! FUCK YEAH! SELENA! FUCK YEAH”! Brother Douglas plays a few guitar riffs until Wright signals for him to stop.
“Selena Frost, like me, is a martyr! A martyr for the true faith of INTEGRITY! And at Apocalypse I will march into the Ville of Nash! So many of these false charlatans on television will lead you to believe that the final battle of the Apocalypse will take place in the valley of Megiddo in Israel but NO! They are wrong! The battle for tha LAWD shall take place in the Ville of Nash! And my weapons shall be these…” he holds up the flask of holy water “...first, my holy water, to purify those who dare get in my way!” He pours some of the holy water onto the stage, which immediately starts eating away at the stage. Its a pretty strong acid. Then he sets the flask of holy water aside and holds up his holy book.
“And I never go into battle without this! My holy book!” He slams it down ruthlessly onto the podium, causing the podium to break in half. “The Word of Frost shall be my weapon and my defender! I fear not any heathens who get in my way!”
“UNDERGROUND INVITATIONAL! FUCK YEAH!”
“NASHVILLE TENNESSEE! FUCK YEAH!”
SCW APOCALYPSE! FUCK YEAH!”
“RELIGIOUS WRIGHT! FUCK YEAH!”
======
It is time now for another glorious, uplifting worship service at the obscenely expensive Family Life and Worship Center at The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas. Only now the design of the worship center has changed dramatically. As per the orders of pastor John Wright, all decorations and all images of James Evans have been stricken from the walls. Even the life size statue of James has been destroyed and the James Evans monster truck is off to the landfill to be done away with. Instead we see a 25 foot tall statue of Selena Frost near the front. Posters and other images of Selena Frost line the walls of the gymnasium turned worship center. Brother Douglas is standing on stage in blue denim overalls a stained white t-shirt and boots. The lights begin to play some flashy disco style lighting as Brother Douglas begins to play his electric guitar.
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
“JAMES EVANS SUCKS! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
The lights are enough to send even the most normal individual into an epileptic fit. But Wright is convinced that this is what is ‘cool’ and ‘hip’ in religious circles nowadays. Speaking of Wright, he emerges at the back entrance. His typical black liturgical garb is replaced by garb that is colored with a variety of blues, mostly bright sky blues. Religious Wright is carrying his holy book in his right hand and his flask of holy water in the other hand as he dances down the aisle to the music of Brother Douglas.
“UNDERGROUND INVITATIONAL! FUCK YEAH!”
“GONNA WIN IT ALL! FUCK YEAH!”
“WITH INTEGRITY! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
Some of the congregation have begun a mosh pit whilst Brother Douglas is banging out this killer guitar riff. Wright dances his way all the way to the front. He kisses some babies along the way, shakes some hands along the way. He kisses one woman on the cheek. Then he takes a second look, realizes how hot she is, and kisses her again, this time a lot more passionately and on the lips. The woman smacks him on the ass. He winks before turning and continues dancing towards the steps of the stage.
“RELIGIOUS WRIGHT! FUCK YEAH!”
“UNDERGROUND TITLE! FUCK YEAH!”
“WIN IT WITH INTEGRITY! FUCK YEAH!”
“I’M A BELIEVER! FUCK YEAH!”
Wright makes it to the stage and steps behind a podium. Brother Douglas stops his playing to allow Wright time to speak. Wright turns to face Brother Douglas.
“Ladies and gentlemen of the congregation, I give to you your pastor, your shepherd of the flock, and your future SCW Underground Champion…” Wright leans over and whispers into Brother Douglas’s ear “...sorry folks, the future SCW INTEGRITY Champion, RELIGIOUS WRIGHT!”
The congregation cheers loudly and applauds. They’re probably being paid to cheer but who the hell cares? It looks good! Wright takes a few bows for his sheep…err, people.
“Now my brothers and my sisters, I am sure you have noticed that our Family Life and Worship Center here at at The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas has undergone quite a few changes. All of the graven images to that false idol, that false prophet James The Heathen Evans have been taken down and burned! No more shall the name James Evans be spoken in this sanctuary! Am I right, Brother Douglas?”
“That’s right, pastor! The name Jame Evans is banned!” And with that, Wright smacks Douglas in the back of his head.
“I just said DO NOT say his name!
“Sorry.”
“It’s ok! Because my brothers and my sisters, even though HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED hath forsaken the name of the LAWD, all is not lost! When the good LAWD closes one door, another one is opened! I opened that door, I opened that door and I set foot into the door opened to me by the LAWD and what did I behold?!”
“A new money making scheme?” Brother Douglas asks. Again he is smacked by Wright.
“NO! I beheld the truth! A truth that the LAWD hath been keeping from me for a long time now! You see, my brothers and my sisters, sometimes you have to go through challenges in life, challenges that the LAWD himself hath given. But I met those challenges. I endured the brutality of Adam Brock. I endured Sarah The Wolf. I even endured the betrayal of HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED! And because of my steadfast loyalty to the LAWD, because of my endurance during these trials and tribulations…”
“Are we on the second or third tribulation now, pastor Wright?”
“Third.” Wright answers. “The first ended with my confrontation with Brock. The second ended with HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED betraying me. Now we are on our third tribulation.”
“Gotcha!” Brother Douglas flashes him a thumbs up.
“As I was saying, my steadfast loyalty and endurance during these tribulations hath granted me a reward from the good LAWD above! I now see the truth! And the truth is not in a false prophet, oh no! The truth can be found in the brand new goddess of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas…SELENA FROST!”
“SELENA! FUCK YEAH! SELENA! FUCK YEAH”! Brother Douglas plays a few guitar riffs until Wright signals for him to stop.
“Selena Frost, like me, is a martyr! A martyr for the true faith of INTEGRITY! And at Apocalypse I will march into the Ville of Nash! So many of these false charlatans on television will lead you to believe that the final battle of the Apocalypse will take place in the valley of Megiddo in Israel but NO! They are wrong! The battle for tha LAWD shall take place in the Ville of Nash! And my weapons shall be these…” he holds up the flask of holy water “...first, my holy water, to purify those who dare get in my way!” He pours some of the holy water onto the stage, which immediately starts eating away at the stage. Its a pretty strong acid. Then he sets the flask of holy water aside and holds up his holy book.
“And I never go into battle without this! My holy book!” He slams it down ruthlessly onto the podium, causing the podium to break in half. “The Word of Frost shall be my weapon and my defender! I fear not any heathens who get in my way!”
“UNDERGROUND INVITATIONAL! FUCK YEAH!”
“NASHVILLE TENNESSEE! FUCK YEAH!”
SCW APOCALYPSE! FUCK YEAH!”
“RELIGIOUS WRIGHT! FUCK YEAH!”
![[Image: qyA5u6K.png]](https://i.imgur.com/qyA5u6K.png)
SCW World Champion 1x
SCW United States Champion 1x
SCW Adrenaline Champion 1x
SCW Television Champion 1x
SCW World Tag Team Champion 1x (w/Brittany Lohan)
Supreme Champion
2019 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Regan Street & Kellen Jeffries)
2020 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Ace Marshall & David Helms)
SCW Adrenaline Champion 1x
SCW Television Champion 1x
SCW World Tag Team Champion 1x (w/Brittany Lohan)
Supreme Champion
2019 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Regan Street & Kellen Jeffries)
2020 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Ace Marshall & David Helms)