Sal Darius vs. Kirsten Scott

[TheOne]

{NEHMIAH: Chapter 4}

There is often a question about who a person "really" is.  Are they who we perceive?  Are they just putting on a cloak for the world to believe they are someone they really aren't?  It is one of those things that has made people really have to hope they know who it is they're interacting with, and it ultimately boils down to one factor...

Trust...

On one hand, you trust that people are genuine with you, especially if you consider yourself close to them.  But then there are the strangers who you don't know well enough to know if you're getting a front, or you're getting the real deal.

So what's that have to do with me and my rebuilding of life?

Nobody has ever been able to see past what I show them.  I have kept walls and barriers up to keep me secluded and allow me to process everything.  And then Emma comes up and "Copperfield's" her way through them, manifesting herself on the inside, and seeing the torment that I am constantly battling.  She saw things nobody was ever supposed to see.  She saw me for who I am on the inside, and called me out on it.

Now I don't know what to do.  I don't know how to feel.  I don't know what to say or how to act.  Because now my front is meaningless to her and meaningless in her mind.  She saw my darkness, and will forever know the way in to seeing it.  And it's put me in a position where trust is now as difficult as it comes.  I don't know what she will do with this knowledge or if she will try and exploit me with it, or if she will simply hold it close.  I've been put in a place where, for the first time ever, I don't know what trust is, or how to figure it out.

Nobody needs to know me...

I need to know me...

I need to find my path...

With Kirsten gone to run errands, and Ethan actually taking time for himself to go out on the town and just enjoy himself, a rare occurrence is created, with Emma and Hailey home alone.  Hailey has been spending most of her time watching TV, while Emma has been outside, sitting on their balcony, hearing the sounds of the wildlife in the creek behind their complex.

Emma's decision to sit outside and just listen to the crickets and the bullfrogs, is because her mind is racing since talking to Kirsten.  Knowing how Kirsten is really feeling on the inside, and not understanding why Kirsten won't talk about it stems from her lack of social interaction to understand how people will have "two sides" to themselves.  She truly believed everyone was who she could empathically feel they were, but this has shown her that her belief has been wrong all along.

After roughly half an hour of time where they were the only two, Emma has finally gotten into her own mind enough to go inside and approach Hailey for advice.  She quickly stands up and walks inside with purpose that even Hailey recognizes, and it forces her to look up.  Emma wastes no time walking directly at Hailey, which tells her to mute the TV, as something is about to go down.

Emma Taylor: We need to talk... It's about Kirsten, and I am concerned.  She's going through a lot, and I can feel it.  She's in a lot of pain.  She's in a lot of distress...

This comment completely catches Hailey off guard.

Hailey Brooks: Umm what are you talking about?  She's seemed fine to me.  I honestly think you're just not realizing everything she's trying to focus on and figure out.  She's not someone who shows a lot of emotion, and let's be real, she sometimes have that RBF...

Emma Taylor: RBF?

Hailey Brooks: Resting bitch face...?  Looking like she's just constantly annoyed or angry...?

Emma nods, now understanding the term.

Emma Taylor: Ok I understand that and I see that.  And that I thought, too.  But I could feel her the other night.  I could sense her pain.  I could sense her... Well... Jealousy... She's not ok...

Hailey Brooks: Emma... You know if she was truly bothered by anything, or upset, or, "jealous," as you say, she would come to us and tell us...

Emma shakes her head.

Emma Taylor: No... She wouldn't... Not this kind of jealousy...

Hailey Brooks: Why wouldn't she?

Emma Taylor: Because if her jealous was about you, do you think she'd honestly be that direct?  Especially if she wasn't even that direct with me and I found out by sensing her?

Hailey's eyes widen in shock.  Her head also pulls back.

Hailey Brooks: J... Jealous of ME?!  What in the HELL would she have to be jealous of me over?  There is literally NOTHING there worth being jealous of...

Emma Taylor: But she is... Like I said, I felt it.  I saw it, like I was deep within her soul, seeing just how much she is hiding from all of us.  And a big part of that revolved around you... It revolved around the fact that she doesn't have the one thing she thinks she needs, and feels is missing in her life, and yet, you have it.  And that's a "real" family."  She doesn't have the ability to turn to her Mom or Dad, like you do, in case of emergency or need of advice.

In her eyes, her parents see her as the epitome of evil and the one who turned her back on the family.  She truly believes her parents view her as a turncoat and someone who betrayed their family, whereas she looks at you and your family, and she sees a mother and father whose eyes were opened.  She sees your family as those who saw through the, effective, brainwashing, and come back together as a cohesive unit, even though you're here with us.

Hailey shakes her head vehemently.

Hailey Brooks: That's the biggest load of BS.  I can PROMISE that isn't the case because we aren't some perfect family unit... We are nothing to be envious of!

Emma Taylor: But Kirsten doesn't see it that way.  She sees "perfection" as something that isn't the actual definition, but more what you actually EMBODY.  She looks at all of us as a "family," in one regard, but she doesn't see us as "her family," like you get to look back and see yours.  It's a pain that is growing inside of her, and I can tell you that I know this because Ethan and I feel a lot of similar pain, but not the jealousy aspect.  I thought it was just me, but now I see that she is lying to us all and I see past her front of saying she's "OK."

Emma feels a tear go down her cheek, feeling the "pain" in her empathic ways.

Emma Taylor: ... And this is something I don't know how to handle or help with.  I don't know social norms.  So I need you to help.  I need you to help me, help her.  I am not a problem solver, like this.  I can see problems, I can feel them, but I can't fix them because I don't know how.  And I know it's the fact I was a captive by my own parents.  But the fact is, I know what I can and can't do.  And I know when I need to ask for help.  Kirsten doesn't because she's too stubborn.  Like you...

Hailey takes a moment to pause and take everything in, and just looks at Emma, seeing and hearing her emotion.

Hailey Brooks: You're being serious, aren't you...

Emma Taylor: Why would I have brought this up, if I wasn't being serious?  Why would I want any drama around me, after everything I've been through, hell that WE have been through?  But I can feel she's a ticking time bomb with everything she is bottling inside, and if we don't give her a way to express it, she's going to explode, and I fear the worst, obviously...

Hailey Brooks: So what do you want me to do, then?  I mean, yes, I agree, if she's bottling this inside, we need to intervene.  But do you want me to do this?  Do you want to help?  How do you expect me to solve this or help?

Emma Taylor: I... I don't know...

Hailey smirks, and like Kirsten would, Hailey tries to cut the tension with humor.

Hailey Brooks: But you're "The Oracle..."

Emma senses the humor and just shakes her head.

Emma Taylor: Stop... I'm serious... I... Don't... Know... That is why I came to you.  I don't know how to solve problems, like I said.  I can advise, I can relay what I know.  But I don't know how to approach it...

Hailey realizes the humor did more to frustrate Emma than help.  She quickly nods, and returns to a serious tone.

Hailey Brooks: Ok... Ok ok... How about this?  I will approach her and see if I can get through these "walls" of hers with just some basic talking.  If I need to be blunt, I can try that, too, but if it gets heated, I will need you to come in and help her understand that she isn't alone, and why we are talking to her.  Because if we corner her, if we "force" her to feel, that time bomb's hair trigger will be hit, and she will be primed to explode.  She will fight back.  So if we are going to do this, we need to approach it in a matter that will keep her as relaxed and able to use her "flight" mechanism at all points.  We never want to activate "fight."

Emma nods.

Emma Taylor: I agree... I feel when she feels cornered and is ready to engage "fight" mode.  I was afraid she was going to do it to me when she unknowingly "let me in," and I called her out on what I could see and sense.  She didn't like it...

Hailey's head goes back again, confused.

Hailey Brooks: Wait... She knows you know?

Emma Taylor: Yes... She knows I know.  She doesn't realize how much I know.  She doesn't realize how much I could feel and see with her...

Hailey Brooks: Well then if she's aware, we don't have time to waste, you know.  We have to move fast.  If she knows you know, she's already trying to figure out how to close you out, and closing you out would basically allow her to become a constant powder keg, just waiting to be lit by anything and anyone.  You'd no longer "feel" or "see" her.  You'd only see what we all see... You'd be blind...

Emma Taylor: And she's the last person I ever want to feel like she has to shut me out.  She saved me.  She rescued me.  She cared for me and Ethan when nobody else did.  I want her to feel open to me at all times.  Ideally it would be to us all, but allowing me to just help her emotionally, and you to help her externally, would give us the ability to keep her safe, and ultimately sane...

Hailey nods, when there is a rustling at the front door, and it opens.  Both freeze, and look toward the entry way, seeing Kirsten walking in with some of their groceries.  Kirsten immediately feels a weird tension in the air, looking at Emma and Hailey.

Kirsten Scott: ... Everything OK?

Hailey and Emma both nod, and assure Kirsten they were just chatting, but continue to make it awkward enough that Kirsten can see the context clues that they were instantly stopping a conversation they didn't want her hearing.  Instead of prying, she simply mouths "OK" and goes to put the groceries away, while Hailey and Emma look at one another, knowing Kirsten isn't dumb to social awkwardness.  They know they will have to formulate a plan, and do something quickly before it's too late, or before something worse happens.