12-07-2023, 01:23 PM
With SCW Fatal Fortunes coming up, the pastor of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas John Wright, known mostly by his ring name, Religious Wright, knows that preparation will be key if he is to survive and endure whatever fate may dish out to him over these next two weeks. What is he preparing for, exactly? No one really has a clue. Its all up to luck and randomness. Its sorta like gambling, in a way, which is why Religious Wright thinks that this is yet another example of Satanic Championship Wrestling trying to screw him out of a victory. Still, Wright will use this as an opportunity. After all, every championship will be on the line at Fatal Fortunes. Wright recognizes this as a chance to become a champion, and redeem that championship in the most holy name of integrity, the name of the new prophet of his church, Selena Frost. Wright has been on his knees…most of the time sexually…but sometimes deep in prayer, praying to Selena that she would grant him this request; that luck would smile down upon him these next two Breakdowns, during Fatal Fortunes. John Wright knows that prayer alone will not get him across the finish line. Faith without works is dead! Preparation is key, yet how does one prepare for a night like Fatal Fortunes when you do not have a damn clue who you will be facing or in what type of match you will be facing them in?
John Wright finds himself being led by Brother Douglas across the campus of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas. Douglas is wearing denim overalls, work boots, and a stained white t-shirt. Wright is wearing a baby blue Selena Frost t-shirt, baby blue workout shorts, and baby blue sneakers. An ear to ear, cheesy grin is upon his face. He hasn’t felt more optimistic about the future in a long time. He hasn’t had much like in SCW…ok, let’s face it, he’s had his ass kicked at every turn…but he feels that Fatal Fortunes will indeed be the turning point for his career. He feels that his prayers to Selena Frost will be answered.
“So where are ya taking me, Brother Douglas?”
“The gymnasium.”
“Don’t we have the Selena Frost Memorial Youth Basketball Tournament scheduled for today?”
“That’s next week.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Volleyball Tournament?”
“That was last week.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Laser Tag Tournament?”
“That’s next month.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Boxing Tournament?”
“You never scheduled that one.” Douglas shakes his head. “Pretty sure that wouldn’t be approved by city officials.”
“I don’t care! Book it for two weeks from now! Get our attorney on the job!”
“I think our attorney returned to the homeless shelter, Pastor Wright.”
“That damn quitter.” Wright snarls angrily. “I give him an opportunity and he throws it away! But it doesn’t matter, everyone has been kicking sand in my face, from that idiot Adam Brock, to HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, Ace Sky, the entire lot of them! But the good LAWD shall have the last laugh! Can I get an amen my BROTHA?!”
“Amen!”
“Because Fatal Fortunes will smile down upon me! I know our good lord Selena Frost will work a miracle, she will intercede for yours truly and grant me what I truly desire…a championship match here in Satanic Championship Wrestling! And when I become champion, Brother Douglas, I will rechristen this god forsaken promotion: it will become SELENA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”
“Amen…but, uh, you really shouldn’t get ahead of yourself Pastor. You don’t even know who your opponent is or what type of match you will be competing in.”
Wright scoffs. “It’s fine, my brotha! I told you, I have a plan for how I can prepare!” He taps his forehead. “I am smarter than what those wretched devil worshiping heathens think! So tell me, is everything in place?”
Brother Douglas nods his head. “Yes.”
“Excellent.”
Wright and Brother Douglas make their way to the gymnasium. They step in through the massive front doors and then, in the center of the enormous gymnasium, is a regulation size wrestling ring. Outside of the ring is a wheel that resembles the wheel from wheel of fortune and has various match types written on it. Standing near the ring are a wide variety of other people wearing gaudy wrestling outfits.
“As you can see, Pastor, I used church funds to get the people you requested. You have La Penguin LOL and Armenia Blight. You might remember them, they are an indie tag team known as Dark in the Lightness. They’re the Light in the Darkness impersonators who joined our church.”
“Wonderful! Make sure they’re scheduled for some…private time with me, if you catch my drift.”
“Sex in your office, got it.”
“Who else do you have?”
“Granny Goodlips…” he points to a hunched over old woman using a walker “...T-Swizzle…” he points to a young teenage girl wearing an extremely sparkly one piece outfit.
“T-Swizzle?”
“Yes. She’s an independent wrestler whose gimmick is that she’s a Taylor Swift fan.”
“Ah, I see. Those Swifties can be intimidating.”
“...and lastly you have Tiny.” He points to a seven foot plus monster of a man who is ripped, built like a brick wall. Tiny glares angrily at Wright and then lets out a huge bellow.
“TINY CRUSH PUNY PREACHER!”
“What the hell?!” Wright looks at Douglas incredulously. “I thought I was specific in my instructions to only invite WOMEN! Not this…this thing!”
“To be fair, Pastor, you never know just who you might face. That’s the purpose of this workout. I have all of their names in a hat and I will draw them out at random. Then I will spin the wheel to determine what match type you will compete in. Sound fair?”
“Its only fair as long as I don’t have to fight HIM!” He points at Tiny.
“TINY RIP PUNY PREACHER MAN’S HEAD OFF!”
“Then its settled!” Douglas approaches the ring where he finds the aforementioned hat with all of these wrestlers names in it. “Your first opponent is…” Douglas reaches inside and produces a name and reads it out loud “...La Penguin LOL!”
“Ik zal in je kontgat duiken en het verwoesten met woede en razernij.”
“What’d she say?”
“I have no idea.” Douglas shrugs his shoulders. “Time to find out what match this is…” he spins the wheel after a few seconds it comes to a stop on… “Something on a Pole Match!”
“Pole?” Wright’s eyes light up. “Now we’re talking!” Wright jumps up and down giddily. “Where’s the pole?!”
“Over there.” Brother Douglas points to a pole that, coincidentally has a steel chair at the top. “I suppose its a chair on a pole match.”
“Take it off baby!” Wright exclaims. “Take it off!” Wright is throwing money at La Penguin LOL who, apparently, like Wright, believes this is a Pole Dance and not a Pole Match. She starts dancing very provocatively and slowly starts to discard articles of clothing. “Take it off!” More and more clothes come off until La Penguin LOL is damn near bare ass naked…except for the mask. Never take off the mask.
“Uh, well, is the match over?”
“I sure as hell feel like a winner!” Wright exclaims happily.
“Great.” Douglas sighs. “Ok, back to the old hat.” He pulls out a name. “Granny Goodlips.”
“Darn…” Wright sounds disappointed. Douglas goes over to the wheel and gives it a spin. A few seconds later when it slowly comes to a stop he reads the result…
“Submission Match.”
“Submission Match, eh?” Wright smirks. He walks over to Granny Goodlips. “Granny…”
“Huh?”
“Granny…”
“I can’t hear ya, boy, my hearing aid is on the fritz. You’ll have to speak up.”
“GRANNY!”
“Yes, sonny?”
“Do you have arthritis?”
“Everywhere.”
“Ok then…just tap on your walker if this hurts…” he gently pushes on her elbow.
“Ouch!” She quickly taps out.
“I suppose you won.” Douglas shrugs his shoulders.
“I am a submission master!” Wright grins from ear to ear. “Now, gimme another!”
“Might as well.” Douglas nods his head. “You haven’t much of a workout yet. So, your opponent will be…” he reaches back into the hat “...Tiny!”
“What the fuck?!” Wright’s face goes pale as Douglas spins the wheel. When the wheel comes to a stop Douglas reads the result.
“Last Man Standing Match!”
“Shit…” Wright exclaims.
“TINY CRUSH! TINY LAST MAN STANDING!”
The monstrous individual chases Wright around the ring. Wright finally enters the ring. Tiny steps in over the top rope with ease. Wright tries to leap out but Tiny catches him by his throat, pulls him back in, and choke slams him to the mat.
“TINY POWER BOMB PUNY PASTOR!” And yes, just as he called it, Tiny pulls Religious Wright up and gives him a power bomb. Tiny gets a dumb grin on his face. “PUNY PASTOR BOUNCE! TINY DO IT AGAIN!” Unfortunately for Wright, Tiny does indeed deliver a second straight power bomb. “TINY DO IT AGAIN!” A third straight power bomb.
Brother Douglas and La Penguin LOL watch as Tiny power bombs Religious Wright over and over again.
“I should probably step in.” Douglas states.
“Jij bent knap. Ik wil met je slapen.”
John Wright finds himself being led by Brother Douglas across the campus of The Sword of Joshua Full Gospel Pentecostal Temple of Joy Holiness by way of Mt. Judea, Arknasas. Douglas is wearing denim overalls, work boots, and a stained white t-shirt. Wright is wearing a baby blue Selena Frost t-shirt, baby blue workout shorts, and baby blue sneakers. An ear to ear, cheesy grin is upon his face. He hasn’t felt more optimistic about the future in a long time. He hasn’t had much like in SCW…ok, let’s face it, he’s had his ass kicked at every turn…but he feels that Fatal Fortunes will indeed be the turning point for his career. He feels that his prayers to Selena Frost will be answered.
“So where are ya taking me, Brother Douglas?”
“The gymnasium.”
“Don’t we have the Selena Frost Memorial Youth Basketball Tournament scheduled for today?”
“That’s next week.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Volleyball Tournament?”
“That was last week.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Laser Tag Tournament?”
“That’s next month.”
“The Selena Frost Memorial Youth Boxing Tournament?”
“You never scheduled that one.” Douglas shakes his head. “Pretty sure that wouldn’t be approved by city officials.”
“I don’t care! Book it for two weeks from now! Get our attorney on the job!”
“I think our attorney returned to the homeless shelter, Pastor Wright.”
“That damn quitter.” Wright snarls angrily. “I give him an opportunity and he throws it away! But it doesn’t matter, everyone has been kicking sand in my face, from that idiot Adam Brock, to HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED, Ace Sky, the entire lot of them! But the good LAWD shall have the last laugh! Can I get an amen my BROTHA?!”
“Amen!”
“Because Fatal Fortunes will smile down upon me! I know our good lord Selena Frost will work a miracle, she will intercede for yours truly and grant me what I truly desire…a championship match here in Satanic Championship Wrestling! And when I become champion, Brother Douglas, I will rechristen this god forsaken promotion: it will become SELENA CHAMPIONSHIP WRESTLING!”
“Amen…but, uh, you really shouldn’t get ahead of yourself Pastor. You don’t even know who your opponent is or what type of match you will be competing in.”
Wright scoffs. “It’s fine, my brotha! I told you, I have a plan for how I can prepare!” He taps his forehead. “I am smarter than what those wretched devil worshiping heathens think! So tell me, is everything in place?”
Brother Douglas nods his head. “Yes.”
“Excellent.”
Wright and Brother Douglas make their way to the gymnasium. They step in through the massive front doors and then, in the center of the enormous gymnasium, is a regulation size wrestling ring. Outside of the ring is a wheel that resembles the wheel from wheel of fortune and has various match types written on it. Standing near the ring are a wide variety of other people wearing gaudy wrestling outfits.
“As you can see, Pastor, I used church funds to get the people you requested. You have La Penguin LOL and Armenia Blight. You might remember them, they are an indie tag team known as Dark in the Lightness. They’re the Light in the Darkness impersonators who joined our church.”
“Wonderful! Make sure they’re scheduled for some…private time with me, if you catch my drift.”
“Sex in your office, got it.”
“Who else do you have?”
“Granny Goodlips…” he points to a hunched over old woman using a walker “...T-Swizzle…” he points to a young teenage girl wearing an extremely sparkly one piece outfit.
“T-Swizzle?”
“Yes. She’s an independent wrestler whose gimmick is that she’s a Taylor Swift fan.”
“Ah, I see. Those Swifties can be intimidating.”
“...and lastly you have Tiny.” He points to a seven foot plus monster of a man who is ripped, built like a brick wall. Tiny glares angrily at Wright and then lets out a huge bellow.
“TINY CRUSH PUNY PREACHER!”
“What the hell?!” Wright looks at Douglas incredulously. “I thought I was specific in my instructions to only invite WOMEN! Not this…this thing!”
“To be fair, Pastor, you never know just who you might face. That’s the purpose of this workout. I have all of their names in a hat and I will draw them out at random. Then I will spin the wheel to determine what match type you will compete in. Sound fair?”
“Its only fair as long as I don’t have to fight HIM!” He points at Tiny.
“TINY RIP PUNY PREACHER MAN’S HEAD OFF!”
“Then its settled!” Douglas approaches the ring where he finds the aforementioned hat with all of these wrestlers names in it. “Your first opponent is…” Douglas reaches inside and produces a name and reads it out loud “...La Penguin LOL!”
“Ik zal in je kontgat duiken en het verwoesten met woede en razernij.”
“What’d she say?”
“I have no idea.” Douglas shrugs his shoulders. “Time to find out what match this is…” he spins the wheel after a few seconds it comes to a stop on… “Something on a Pole Match!”
“Pole?” Wright’s eyes light up. “Now we’re talking!” Wright jumps up and down giddily. “Where’s the pole?!”
“Over there.” Brother Douglas points to a pole that, coincidentally has a steel chair at the top. “I suppose its a chair on a pole match.”
“Take it off baby!” Wright exclaims. “Take it off!” Wright is throwing money at La Penguin LOL who, apparently, like Wright, believes this is a Pole Dance and not a Pole Match. She starts dancing very provocatively and slowly starts to discard articles of clothing. “Take it off!” More and more clothes come off until La Penguin LOL is damn near bare ass naked…except for the mask. Never take off the mask.
“Uh, well, is the match over?”
“I sure as hell feel like a winner!” Wright exclaims happily.
“Great.” Douglas sighs. “Ok, back to the old hat.” He pulls out a name. “Granny Goodlips.”
“Darn…” Wright sounds disappointed. Douglas goes over to the wheel and gives it a spin. A few seconds later when it slowly comes to a stop he reads the result…
“Submission Match.”
“Submission Match, eh?” Wright smirks. He walks over to Granny Goodlips. “Granny…”
“Huh?”
“Granny…”
“I can’t hear ya, boy, my hearing aid is on the fritz. You’ll have to speak up.”
“GRANNY!”
“Yes, sonny?”
“Do you have arthritis?”
“Everywhere.”
“Ok then…just tap on your walker if this hurts…” he gently pushes on her elbow.
“Ouch!” She quickly taps out.
“I suppose you won.” Douglas shrugs his shoulders.
“I am a submission master!” Wright grins from ear to ear. “Now, gimme another!”
“Might as well.” Douglas nods his head. “You haven’t much of a workout yet. So, your opponent will be…” he reaches back into the hat “...Tiny!”
“What the fuck?!” Wright’s face goes pale as Douglas spins the wheel. When the wheel comes to a stop Douglas reads the result.
“Last Man Standing Match!”
“Shit…” Wright exclaims.
“TINY CRUSH! TINY LAST MAN STANDING!”
The monstrous individual chases Wright around the ring. Wright finally enters the ring. Tiny steps in over the top rope with ease. Wright tries to leap out but Tiny catches him by his throat, pulls him back in, and choke slams him to the mat.
“TINY POWER BOMB PUNY PASTOR!” And yes, just as he called it, Tiny pulls Religious Wright up and gives him a power bomb. Tiny gets a dumb grin on his face. “PUNY PASTOR BOUNCE! TINY DO IT AGAIN!” Unfortunately for Wright, Tiny does indeed deliver a second straight power bomb. “TINY DO IT AGAIN!” A third straight power bomb.
Brother Douglas and La Penguin LOL watch as Tiny power bombs Religious Wright over and over again.
“I should probably step in.” Douglas states.
“Jij bent knap. Ik wil met je slapen.”
![[Image: qyA5u6K.png]](https://i.imgur.com/qyA5u6K.png)
SCW World Champion 1x
SCW United States Champion 1x
SCW Adrenaline Champion 1x
SCW Television Champion 1x
SCW World Tag Team Champion 1x (w/Brittany Lohan)
Supreme Champion
2019 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Regan Street & Kellen Jeffries)
2020 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Ace Marshall & David Helms)
SCW Adrenaline Champion 1x
SCW Television Champion 1x
SCW World Tag Team Champion 1x (w/Brittany Lohan)
Supreme Champion
2019 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Regan Street & Kellen Jeffries)
2020 Trios Tournament Winner (w/ Ace Marshall & David Helms)