Colleen McDonald vs. Deanna Frost

[SnowQueenSCW]

Frost No More

”Trapped in a Haze”

Frost ‘Forever House’
Manhattan, New York
September 16th, 2024
1:13am

“NO!!!!”

Deanna Frost shot up with a scream which was quickly swallowed up but a gasp as the quick exhale made way for the sudden need for air. She felt her hands clutching the desk in front of her where she had been working and, subsequently, fallen asleep on top of. She could see a little drool on the lower plastic of the keyboard her head had rested on and she was sure a few keys had left an imprint on her face/cheek, which she rubbed instinctively, her other hand wiping at her mouth before using the sleeve of her red long-sleeve shirt to wipe along the keyboard.

She groaned a little and cast her emerald eyes, which she was rather certain were bloodshot (red surrounding the green, which only matched the bags of purple and black that rested under them in a weird myriad of colors) over to the computer screen. The screen still was on and was still displaying her two windows. One was her email, complete with messages from groups, fans, even some from certain authorities. The other was the google news. Well… not so much the news, per say. The big names seemed more concentrated on the bigger problems of the world: the upcoming election for the presidency, recent terrorists attacks and the ongoing battles/wars in other countries beyond America. No, the news she was seeking was from less ‘reputable’ sources, but it was the best she could do.

Strange sightings, UFOs, demon-summoning, crop-circles, Deanna had searched google and every search engine up and down, trying to find something – ANYTHING – of a clue to his whereabouts…

It was all she could do. She couldn’t really sleep unless she collapsed. The nightmares would be waiting.

With a sigh, the redhead pushed herself out of the large throne chair, taking the steps she had memorized in her head around the room to the small mini-fridge in the corner. There, she opened the door and pulled out one of the many Monster Zero energy drinks there. Pretty sure this is my fourth of the day… not bad for a warning label that begs you to only take one a day and no more…

She chuckled in bitter humor at her own pathetic self before cracking open the can with her fingertips and drinking the beverage slowly. Already, she could imagine the tightening in her chest that would hit her in a matter of minutes, always fading eventually – yes, she knew she should be concerned, but she couldn’t be. If Selena were here – if Selena were here…

But she’s not…

With a sigh, the young woman looked around the room, her former partner’s office space in the ‘Forever Home’, which now belonged to Deanna and only Deanna. She eyed the bookcases, filled with books and the spot where she knew there was a secret entrance to a trophy-room, long since emptied and a space she had never used herself.

It hadn’t taken long after RTG for the United States Champion to make this place her little ‘refuge’ or ‘sanctuary’ of sorts. A place where she would disappear into when the children were in bed and sleep eluded her. Which was… which was…

She stopped in her tracks. Aside from the naps where her brain would, literally, shut off on its own, she couldn’t remember the last time she had had a good night’s sleep. A few days? A few weeks? Was it a month?

She… she didn’t know. She’s be lying if sleeping without her wi- without Selena beside her did not make things difficult – having the taller platinum-blonde’s arms wrapped around her smaller frame, holding her close and refusing to let go. As if the Snow Queen believed her little pet would disappear if she let go… Deanna still missed it, maybe she always would. The little things on top of that… how Selena would ask for Deanna’s hand to hold while the older woman was driving. How she would kiss Deanna’s forehead all the time just…because… - but it was far more than that. She HAD managed some sleep without Selena, that was true! But now?

Now… she couldn’t because of those nightmares.

The young Frost exhaled a bit before sipping a bit more of her drink. She didn’t want to sleep – she was too scared to. Every time she closed her eyes, all she would see is smoke and flame. Fire dancing before her eyes, threatening to engulf her. Threatening to burn her to ashes and leave nothing left. She would see Jessica – her dear friend – eyes black and holding matches or a flamethrower or a Maltov-cocktail. And behind her, with the smoke – gods, there were times Deanna could smell it, believing she was there. Other times it wouldn’t be Jessica in front of her, but beside her, burning to a crisp, the flames making short work of the former SCW interviewer, and Deanna, herself, powerless to get to her, despite trying with all she had to crawl over to her, if only to try and cover the woman’s body with her own to protect her from the flames.

But he would always be standing above her – The Enigma – the man she relentlessly kept searching for. The man that SCW had suspended indefinitely.

Why… why didn’t they understand that that wasn’t enough! Her match with Gavin had proven that beyond a shadow of a doubt! He was still getting into the arenas! Rigging explosives into the turnbuckles? Child’s play for him, Deanna knew! And above it all… Jessica was still not cured of him.

CHBK- Alex… Lucas… the others… they meant well, she could not hold that against them. But they were merely treating the symptoms and removing the cause from sight with an ‘Out of Sight, out of mind’ concept. And it made sense – if they were dealing with a hothead like Kandis that needed to be kept away from officials.

But Kandis wasn’t supernatural. Kandis couldn’t disappear into smoke. Kandis couldn’t control people with her mind. The rules – the ‘ordinary’ rules – didn’t apply to Enigma and that was what Alex wasn’t getting, what no one was understanding! It was why Deanna had had to take matters into her own hands.

Angrily, she pressed the palm of her hand into her eye, rubbing the sleep out profusely as she contemplated her last actions. She had acted… well, like a damn crazy person!... Alex had told her that her ‘mic time’ would be limited, so she had run out to hijack commentary – gods, what did Sharper and Knots think of her now? She shook her head at that. And on top of all that, she had demanded an unsanctioned match, her title back on the line, ANYTHING to get Enigma to fight her again.

Passing by the large mirror, the redhead turned her head to observe as she took another sip from her drink. She saw the bags under her eyes and – sure enough – the bloodshot eyes themselves. Her shirt was long, but her black shorts just went to above her knees. Her hair was a mess, but she hadn’t really combed it in the last day or so. In short, the, how had Knox put it, ‘most dominant champion in SCW’ looked like a damn train wreck. Sleep depravation, insomnia, whatever you wanted to call it, had taken its toll and yet, Deanna had no other options. Again, she took a bit more of her Monster drink.

But still, an unsanctioned match? She had barely gotten past Gavin Taylor in her last match and she wasn’t even sure she could get past Polly this time around – wait… her brain stopped… it wasn’t Polly, was it? Her old rival was now tied up with Selena in the finals of the Trios tournament. Deanna was facing COLLEEN… Gods, I can’t even remember who I am fighting now… she thought dejectedly, feeling heavy and anxiety all over her as the caffeine began taking hold. But, she was going to try and fight Enigma…

But she had too…

Yes, she had managed to beat him in St. Louis, if only just barely, but that clearly hadn’t been enough! And if the bruisers of the European Fiery Nation couldn’t keep that maniac down for a few seconds despite manhandling him on a level that would make Xander Valentine take notice, then she needed to up the ante. She had to be wagering everything! The title, of course, the match? Fine! It didn’t matter! She would make Enigma put his control of Jessica on the line… somehow. She would make him release her friend once and for all! Even if she never slept again, she would make it happen!

Her jaw clenching, Deanna’s eyes fluttered closed, only for a second as, like in her dreams, she could suddenly see smoke and fire dancing behind her eyelids. Emerald orbs flying open, she released a quiet, angry hum – no desire to wake up her children sleeping two floors up.

The problem was finding the bastard! Her research had yielded nothing. Not even Jean Black – still a dear friend to the Frost family, which still included her – using his detective skills had found nothing on the man! The monster was a damn ghost! And it only furthered the redhead’s anxiety, with her only move being to dangle her title and herself on national television and hoping the masked fiend would take the bait!

It was why she had eagerly agreed to her next match with… Colleen! She quickly reminded herself. Yes, the Playgirl member had had a few matches and, while not as skilled or experienced as Polly, she was still a decent challenger, but Deanna was thinking beyond that.

What if Enigma got in the way again?
What if he had rigged the ring again?
What if he had one of his followers how up?
What if he COULD just come and go from the arena as he pleased?

She both dreaded… and hoped… for something along those lines – a reality that, in that moment, made her question her own sanity or lack thereof from the lack of sleep. It wasn’t that she hoped for any danger to befall Colleen. If anything, the redhead hoped that the match would begin and end without a hitch and Colleen, win or lose (Deanna wasn’t sure how she would be in the next few nights), would be excused from the ring abruptly either before/if Enigma showed his hand.

She certainly hoped so. She didn’t want to rope anyone else into this. Enough lives had been hurt and almost ruined.

She sighed. If it came down to it, Deanna was prepared to forfeit the match if it came to Colleen’s or the official’s safety. Enigma clearly didn’t care what happened to anyone as long as it suited his twisted purpose, whatever it was – sacrificing Deanna to his “Lady of the Night” or something, she couldn’t even be sure at this point – and if forfeiting mid-match meant Colleen would be safe, Deanna would do it without a second thought. She wasn’t Selena. Winning was important in this business, yes, but it wasn’t worth someone’s life!

Even so, she was hoping Enigma WOULD show up, once everyone else was out of harm’s way. She hoped he would give her an answer to her challenge or something. Something to go off of so she could end this cycle of anxiety that she was trapped in. So she could get the ball rolling on ending this once and for all!

Finishing her drink, Deanna walked it over to the blue bin by her desk, crushing it up to make it smaller and tossing it in. She would be up the rest of the night, she was certain of that, and she was sick and tired of looking up fake reports and blog entries about people ‘thinking they spotted an Enigma-follower or the fiend himself’ or people giving theories on his ‘identity’. Deanna didn’t want that or even care who he was. She just wanted to know where to find him – where to track him down.

For Odin’s sake, Cid Turner and his cult had been easier to find then this guy! she thought in irritation before closing her browser and email, staring at the screen in front of her. She hadn’t changed the wallpaper from what Selena had set it to. It was a picture from their wedding, almost nine years ago. They were standing at the altar, gazing at one another, the minister in the process of leading them through their wedding ceremony.

I know I shouldn’t… Deanna thought, but her hand still moved. She knew she shouldn’t do this. Every time she did, she would only sink further into her depression and anxiety. She had lost track of how many times she had checked her phone, hoping for a message from Selena. How many times she had checked her email, hoping for an email from her. How many times she had quietly walked the halls in-between her mission to ‘contact’ Enigma, hoping she’d turn a corner and ‘accidentally’ bump into the platinum-blonde. You’re only hurting yourself…

She knew that and still she scrolled to the folder on Selena’s computer, opening up the sub folders therein and finding the proper dated one. She had skipped past all the SCW folders, containing videos of their greatest matches and moments, some Selena, some Deanna, some both of them. The one labelled ‘Family’ was the one that caught her eye. Further she kept going, settling on a date and title of another folder. It was far easier than trying to find Enigma – she knew where everything was.

Seeing the file, she double clicked it, set the player to full screen and sat back in her chair, watching as the camera shifted around to its proper place, showing the video that the wallpaper image had derived from. The risers were the same, the lighting was the same. With ease, Deanna slipped the ‘playbar’ over, effectively skipping to a certain time she had memorized from watching the video so many times. With a long exhale, she released her finger, causing the file to continue playing at its newly requested ‘time’. Immediately, the speakers began releasing the voice of the redhead, her past-self filling Deanna’s ears.

“Selena… I’m usually someone that doesn’t know how to stop talking…”

“Still don’t…” Deanna smiled at her ‘self’, letting the video continue playing.

“I always have something to say and am rarely at a loss for words. But with you, I can’t seem to find them… When I first met you, you seemed so other-worldly. How you held yourself. How you fought. Everything about you. I thought someone like me would only drag you down. But as we got to know each other - as we fought together - I stopped seeing you just as the Queen I idolized. You let me see you as the woman you are. As Selena. I got to see your strength, your passion, and your unwavering faith. Selena, your faith is one of the most inspiring things about you.”

“And I realized…” Deanna whispered, as if prompting herself in the video.

“And I realized…” Video-Deanna echoed. “That it wasn’t because I had dragged you down that I was allowed to see you like that. It was because you raised me up. You raised me up to believe in dreams I had given up on years ago. You raised me up to believe in so many things. Things I never thought I could have. And I will always be grateful to you for that. But more than that, I will always be grateful to you for letting me see the woman you are. For while I respect the Queen you are and can be, I love the woman with all my heart and I want to spend the rest of my life with that woman.”

She felt her eyes sting a little and she wiped at them with the back of her hand. “I miss you so much…” Deanna whispered to the video, her eyes now on the platinum-blonde, who was beaming and teary-eyed as she accepted the ring onto her finger from that ‘Deanna’.

“I knew I should have gone first…” the Snow Queen in the video said, causing Deanna to still laugh at that line, despite hearing it so many times. “Deanna… before I met you, I wasn’t really a queen. Truth be told, I wasn’t much of anything. I was lost. I barely had a career and I barely had a heart. I didn’t believe in true love or soul-mates or anything like that. And looking back, I didn’t believe in myself. And then you tip-toed into my life. From the moment you dared me to drink that Patriot drink, you have been such a light in my life that, looking back, I cannot figure out how I lived without you. And I don’t really want to find out...”

Deanna’s hand flew out at that, hitting the spacebar to pause the video, her heart aching as she knew it would – and not from the caffeine.

Why… her mind screamed but she barely managed to whisper past her lips. “Why… why did it go so wrong?”

It always came around to this question. She could point to a million things that had lead to the dreaded future Selena had just spoke of – living without the other – and Deanna could take the blame for many of them, as she was sure Selena would too. Her eyes stinging, she gazed up at the paused image of herself and Selena. “So young…” she sighed. “If we only knew…”

Biting her lower lip, she mentally cursed herself and yet, she hit the spacebar again to resume playing, hearing Selena’s voice again.

“Because from the beginning, you have made every single dream I could ever have come true. You are my best friend and you’re the kindest, gentlest person I have ever known. You make me want to be a better person in everything I do. The reason why my faith is as strong as it is is because of you. And I could tell you a million other reasons why I love you and what you do for me, but in the end, I rather show you each and every day for the rest of our lives together…”

Again, Deanna’s hand flew out but this time, she closed the video, then the folder, then the browser before throwing herself onto the desk to cover her head in her arms. Maybe it was the sleep-depravation that was raging her emotions to a higher level and making everything so intense but, in that moment, she didn’t care. She didn’t care if she was slipping further and further. She didn’t care if she was fighting a losing battle. She didn’t care if she was heading to an end…

She just let herself cry, like she did so many times on these nights of sleeplessness. In her sleep, there was fear and pain and fire. Awake… there was fear and pain and… loneliness. An absence she couldn’t shake. A hole in her heart that no amount of success in SCW or in Manhattan could fill. And like a moth to the flame, she kept coming back to these videos, these memories…

Fire or water, those were her two options. The fire of fear or the water-tears of loss.

And despite it, Deanna kept coming to the same conclusion…

She wasn’t sure which pain was worse… or how to stop either one of them…