04-30-2019, 11:43 PM
It was a bad day when Cassidy Carter was forced to be an adult. For the majority of what most people would consider to be her “adulthood,” Cassidy had spent her time running from it. She hated the idea of domestication. Most people with parental issues say they spawned from their parents’ divorce, the lack of a parent, or being abused by one or both of them. Cassidy, however, seemed to be the exception to that rule. Cassidy’s deep-seeded parental issues seemed to stem from the fact that her parents had a happy and functional marriage. Carlysle and Cassandra Carter were the absolute picture of marital “bliss,” two pathetic human beings who had found their boring soulmate and decided that their genetic material was so strong, they would be doing the world a favor by reproducing. Carlysle always claimed that it didn’t matter what gender his kids were, men who want sons ALWAYS say that. So, imagine his surprise when he had 4 daughters. And yet, he loved them all the same. He adored and fawned over his 4 princesses, determined to ensure that they always had the best in life. Carlysle and Cassandra...or, as Cassidy liked to call them...Bill and Carol. It was the name that two boring people like them deserved, the kind of names that evoked images of an elderly couple who hosted a morning show on a christian music radio station, and probably slept in separate beds.
It wasn’t that Cassidy hated her parents, but she hated how much her life felt like Leave it to Beaver. Bill and Carol never swore, never raised their voices, except on a very rare occasion. A hot dinner home made by Carol was always on the table by 6pm, and a prayer was always said before anyone was allowed to eat. They were loving, caring, nurturing...it baffled most how Cassidy managed to turn out to be as much of a black sheep as she was. The thing that pissed her off the most is that they would never see her as the black sheep of the family. When they spoke about her, they spoke with pride about their daughter, the multi-champion wrestler and Lingerie Football League quarterback. They were the kinds of parents that googled her each morning, and had framed articles about her decorating the walls. When she brought Austin home the first time to rubit in their faces that she had gotten married on a whim, they welcomed him in like the son they never had. When she had loud sex with her husband in her old bedroom, they didn’t care. Cassidy’s father was wild about Austin, constantly inviting him on fishing and hunting trips. They still sent Christmas cards to Cassidy and Austin, and he had a permanent invitation to every family vacation they ever took. They loved her unconditionally, and while deep down she loved them back, on the surface, she hated that.
Cassidy wanted her parents to be disappointed in her,even just once...they refused to play along, which only irked her even more.
And, no matter how fast or far she ran, trying to escape the clutches of adulthood and domesticity, it always seemed to catch her. She had intended to live the life of a gypsy, moving from town to town, crashing on couches, cots, and other people’s beds. Instead, she was now married...HAPPILY married...and she owned a house with her husband. She had also had a few pregnancy scares, one of which...she didn’t like talking about. Cassidy was one of those people who was overly honest, seemingly incapable of shame. But this...this was the one thing she wore like a badge of shame, unwilling to talk about it if she didn’t have to, the day she had been forced to be far too adult, the day she found out exactly how painful adulthood could be. At first her immaturity was her attempt to prolong the inevitability of becoming Bill and Carol, but now...she was running away from that day.
Then, there was this morning.
She hadn’t picked up on the first call, or the second….or the seventh. It was the 10th time they called her when she finally picked up. She was expecting some typically boring Bill and Carol nonsense from them, like being told about whatever crazy bird she saw eating at her birdfeeder, or that the squirrels are eating at her garden again. Instead, she got the frantic voice of her mother, begging her to check on her older sister. Cailey, their favorite little girl. They would never admit that they had a favorite, and it never affected how they treated the other 3 girls, but Cailey’s sunshiney attitude was definitely their favorite thing in the world. Her mother went on and on, about how Cailey had posted some worrying things on Twitter, and now she wasn’t answering her phone. It annoyed Cassidy that the woman had Twitter, and that she only used it to follow Cassidy, Cailey, every company they’d ever worked for, their other 2 sisters...and Wayne Newton. The lady was crazy for Wayne Newton. She had said, on more than one occasion, that she would leave her husband for Wayne. It was one of the main reasons she dreaded her mother coming to visit, she knew she would be dragged to a show. And now, her mother’s small following meant that she was watching Cailey’s hilarious breakdown in real time. Cassidy did the usual thing, asked why Bill and Carol couldn’t go visit her themselves, tried to pawn the task off on her older sisters, but her mom said it had to be her. She believed the two of them had some kind of connection due to them being in the same line of work. Eventually, Cassidy got bored with arguing, and agreed to go check up on her sister.
CASSANDRA: “Thank you so much Cassie, you have no idea how much this means to us.”
CASSIDY: “Whatever. You don’t even know that I’m going to go. I could just be saying I will go to get you off my back. I could always just hang up and pretend you never called me.”
There was a brief pause, then her mother’s warm voice responded.
CASSANDRA: “I know you will do the right thing Cassie, you always do.”
CASSIDY: “Ugh...fine.”
Another brief pause then…
CASSANDRA: “I love you Cassie cakes.”
She clenched her teeth.
CASSIDY: “Whatever.”
They both hung up. Cassandra knee there was love there, even if Cassidy refused to admit it. Cassidy groaned, this was going to seriously impede her plans to be naked and do nothing all day. She stomped to the master bedroom, where she tore through her drawers and closet before deciding on an outfit of a black shirt and jeans. She had finally finished “packing” when she heard Austin’s car in the driveway. She ran downstairs and jumped into the passenger seat of his car, tossing her purse and a small, carry-on sized bag into the back seat.
CASSIDY: “Lets go!”
His face was one of confusion.
AUSTIN: “Um...ok. Where are we going?”
CASSIDY: “I’M going to the airport.”
He furrowed his brows in further confusion. Cassidy has a frustrating way of never giving enough details when asked. Like a diamond mine, details had to be carefully extracted from her.
AUSTIN: “umm…”
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
CASSIDY: “You're not driving!!”
Austin pressed the ignition button, and the car roared back to life. He backed out of their driveway and began driving toward the airport.
AUSTIN: “So...are we picking someone up?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
AUSTIN: “So…”
Cassidy sighed in annoyance.
CASSIDY: “I'm going to Massachusetts.”
His confused face never waivered.
AUSTIN: “Why the fuck would you do that? I thought you hated the whole east coast.”
CASSIDY: “Fuck yeah I do.”
AUSTIN: “So…?”
She sighed in annoyance again.
CASSIDY: “Old man river is apparently divorcing my sister.”
AUSTIN: “You know, I'm going to guess she is not in as celebratory a mood about this as you are.”
CASSIDY: “Oh, she for sure isn't. Bill and Carol saw her babbling on Twitter, now I have to go check on her.”
Austin’s eyes lit up.
AUSTIN: “How are mommy and daddy?”
Cassidy shot him an annoyed look.
CASSIDY: “Fuck you.”
AUSTIN: “Did you at least tell them I said hi, and thank them for the homemade beef jerky?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
Austin’s face skewed into a mock pout. Cassidy sighed. She hated that that worked on her.
CASSIDY: “Next time, I will make sure you get a chance to talk to them.”
There was a brief and comfortable pause between them for a moment before Austin spoke again.
AUSTIN: “What time is your flight?”
CASSIDY: “No idea.”
AUSTIN: “What?!”
CASSIDY: “I figured I would just book a flight when I got there. Shouldn't be hard to get a first class ticket to that shithole, I'm assuming no one wants to go there.”
AUSTIN: “So, you're going to buy yourself a last minute first class ticket?”
CASSIDY: “Nope”
She reaches in her pocket and pulls a credit card from her pocket.
CASSIDY: “You are.”
Austin chuckled.
AUSTIN: “Of course I am. How long will you be there.”
CASSIDY: “As little as I have to be. Probably a few days. Plus I have to fly out for Breakdown. I'm guessing a week, two...a month. I have no idea. I promise I will send you sexy snaps everyday!”
AUSTIN: “You don't know how long you're going to be gone, and that bag is all you packed?”
CASSIDY: “My ring gear and my favorite Louboutins? What else would I need?”
AUSTIN: “I don't know...clothes...other stuff for a long stay.”
CASSIDY: “Shows are life. Everything else, you will buy me along the way.”
AUSTIN: “Can I come with you?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
AUSTIN: “Well...fuck.”
Cassidy chuckled. They chatted back and forth for the rest of the ride to the airport. When they finally arrived at the drop off point, Cassidy leaned over and kissed Austin passionately.
CASSIDY: “I love you...I promise I will call you every day.”
It was a brief moment of honesty about how she felt about him. The moment hung in the air between them until a voice interrupted them.
FEMALE: “Um...hi. Are you my Uber?”
Fucking simpleton. Cassidy chuckled as she exited the vehicle, placing her purse and bag in the ground. Forcing a smile.
CASSIDY: “Sorry?”
FEMALE: “Oh...um...I was just wondering if he is my Uber?”
AUSTIN: “Um...I’m…”
CASSIDY: “He sure is!”
Austin looked at her in confusion again. She was a tourist, and this was clearly her first time using Uber. Fucking tourists.
FEMALE: “Are you sure...you're Tyrone?”
Austin looked at Cassidy before reluctantly answering.
AUSTIN: “I sure am.”
FEMALE: “I thought you were supposed to be black.”
Cassidy leaned in and whispered.
CASSIDY: “He has vitiligo. It's a super touchy subject for him, but I promise he’s the best Uber driver you'll ever have.”
The simpleton’s eyes lit up and she quickly shuffled her bags into the back seat. Austin shot Cassidy an annoyed look, but she just smiled back, waving in an exaggerated manner. There was a slight pause as she got in the front seat and Austin looked to Cassidy for help again. Cassidy blew him a kiss and winked, laughing as she grabbed her bag and purse and headed into the airport. She turned to watch as the black Mercedes hesitates, then pulled away from the curb, her chuckle turning into a laugh as she then watched the simpleton’s actual Uber arrive. Then, she turned, and headed into the airport.
---------------------PROMO-----------------------
The camera shudders as it always did, flashing to life and into focus as we see Cassidy Carter sitting in the sun room of an unfamiliar house. She betrays no emotion as she looks into the camera, her smile forced as she begins to speak.
CASSIDY: “Well...here we are again…”
She pauses for a moment.
CASSIDY: “You know what...I'm so fucking tired of this shit. This constant nonsense where I have to sit here and babble on. It seemed that the more I talk, the more I get distracted from the real goal. I fucking hate this...I fucking hate having to justify myself to pissant nobodies like Ruby, like O., like you pathetic little fans, trying to escape your failed little lives to live vicariously through people like me. Fuck you, every one of you!!! I'm not doing this anymore!!”
Cassidy stands up, grabbing the camera and bringing it close to her face.
CASSIDY: “You want a promo for your pathetic little channel...Well here it is..”
She pauses for dramatic effect.
CASSIDY: “I'm not just going to BEAT Ruby whateverthefuckhernameis, I'm going to stomp her skull to pieces. You want a fucking statement? Ruby’s bloody face will be my statement. I'm done walloworking kg at the bottom, forces to take on nobodies and never-will-bes. I am a former number one contender to the SCW Word Championship...and it’s time you and I remember that!!! So, get ready, make sure your kids are in bed, and if you are in the front rows, make sure you bring a tarp, because it will be a splash zone. I am Cassidy fucking Carter, and I AM FUCKING BACK!!!!”
It wasn’t that Cassidy hated her parents, but she hated how much her life felt like Leave it to Beaver. Bill and Carol never swore, never raised their voices, except on a very rare occasion. A hot dinner home made by Carol was always on the table by 6pm, and a prayer was always said before anyone was allowed to eat. They were loving, caring, nurturing...it baffled most how Cassidy managed to turn out to be as much of a black sheep as she was. The thing that pissed her off the most is that they would never see her as the black sheep of the family. When they spoke about her, they spoke with pride about their daughter, the multi-champion wrestler and Lingerie Football League quarterback. They were the kinds of parents that googled her each morning, and had framed articles about her decorating the walls. When she brought Austin home the first time to rubit in their faces that she had gotten married on a whim, they welcomed him in like the son they never had. When she had loud sex with her husband in her old bedroom, they didn’t care. Cassidy’s father was wild about Austin, constantly inviting him on fishing and hunting trips. They still sent Christmas cards to Cassidy and Austin, and he had a permanent invitation to every family vacation they ever took. They loved her unconditionally, and while deep down she loved them back, on the surface, she hated that.
Cassidy wanted her parents to be disappointed in her,even just once...they refused to play along, which only irked her even more.
And, no matter how fast or far she ran, trying to escape the clutches of adulthood and domesticity, it always seemed to catch her. She had intended to live the life of a gypsy, moving from town to town, crashing on couches, cots, and other people’s beds. Instead, she was now married...HAPPILY married...and she owned a house with her husband. She had also had a few pregnancy scares, one of which...she didn’t like talking about. Cassidy was one of those people who was overly honest, seemingly incapable of shame. But this...this was the one thing she wore like a badge of shame, unwilling to talk about it if she didn’t have to, the day she had been forced to be far too adult, the day she found out exactly how painful adulthood could be. At first her immaturity was her attempt to prolong the inevitability of becoming Bill and Carol, but now...she was running away from that day.
Then, there was this morning.
She hadn’t picked up on the first call, or the second….or the seventh. It was the 10th time they called her when she finally picked up. She was expecting some typically boring Bill and Carol nonsense from them, like being told about whatever crazy bird she saw eating at her birdfeeder, or that the squirrels are eating at her garden again. Instead, she got the frantic voice of her mother, begging her to check on her older sister. Cailey, their favorite little girl. They would never admit that they had a favorite, and it never affected how they treated the other 3 girls, but Cailey’s sunshiney attitude was definitely their favorite thing in the world. Her mother went on and on, about how Cailey had posted some worrying things on Twitter, and now she wasn’t answering her phone. It annoyed Cassidy that the woman had Twitter, and that she only used it to follow Cassidy, Cailey, every company they’d ever worked for, their other 2 sisters...and Wayne Newton. The lady was crazy for Wayne Newton. She had said, on more than one occasion, that she would leave her husband for Wayne. It was one of the main reasons she dreaded her mother coming to visit, she knew she would be dragged to a show. And now, her mother’s small following meant that she was watching Cailey’s hilarious breakdown in real time. Cassidy did the usual thing, asked why Bill and Carol couldn’t go visit her themselves, tried to pawn the task off on her older sisters, but her mom said it had to be her. She believed the two of them had some kind of connection due to them being in the same line of work. Eventually, Cassidy got bored with arguing, and agreed to go check up on her sister.
CASSANDRA: “Thank you so much Cassie, you have no idea how much this means to us.”
CASSIDY: “Whatever. You don’t even know that I’m going to go. I could just be saying I will go to get you off my back. I could always just hang up and pretend you never called me.”
There was a brief pause, then her mother’s warm voice responded.
CASSANDRA: “I know you will do the right thing Cassie, you always do.”
CASSIDY: “Ugh...fine.”
Another brief pause then…
CASSANDRA: “I love you Cassie cakes.”
She clenched her teeth.
CASSIDY: “Whatever.”
They both hung up. Cassandra knee there was love there, even if Cassidy refused to admit it. Cassidy groaned, this was going to seriously impede her plans to be naked and do nothing all day. She stomped to the master bedroom, where she tore through her drawers and closet before deciding on an outfit of a black shirt and jeans. She had finally finished “packing” when she heard Austin’s car in the driveway. She ran downstairs and jumped into the passenger seat of his car, tossing her purse and a small, carry-on sized bag into the back seat.
CASSIDY: “Lets go!”
His face was one of confusion.
AUSTIN: “Um...ok. Where are we going?”
CASSIDY: “I’M going to the airport.”
He furrowed his brows in further confusion. Cassidy has a frustrating way of never giving enough details when asked. Like a diamond mine, details had to be carefully extracted from her.
AUSTIN: “umm…”
Cassidy rolled her eyes.
CASSIDY: “You're not driving!!”
Austin pressed the ignition button, and the car roared back to life. He backed out of their driveway and began driving toward the airport.
AUSTIN: “So...are we picking someone up?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
AUSTIN: “So…”
Cassidy sighed in annoyance.
CASSIDY: “I'm going to Massachusetts.”
His confused face never waivered.
AUSTIN: “Why the fuck would you do that? I thought you hated the whole east coast.”
CASSIDY: “Fuck yeah I do.”
AUSTIN: “So…?”
She sighed in annoyance again.
CASSIDY: “Old man river is apparently divorcing my sister.”
AUSTIN: “You know, I'm going to guess she is not in as celebratory a mood about this as you are.”
CASSIDY: “Oh, she for sure isn't. Bill and Carol saw her babbling on Twitter, now I have to go check on her.”
Austin’s eyes lit up.
AUSTIN: “How are mommy and daddy?”
Cassidy shot him an annoyed look.
CASSIDY: “Fuck you.”
AUSTIN: “Did you at least tell them I said hi, and thank them for the homemade beef jerky?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
Austin’s face skewed into a mock pout. Cassidy sighed. She hated that that worked on her.
CASSIDY: “Next time, I will make sure you get a chance to talk to them.”
There was a brief and comfortable pause between them for a moment before Austin spoke again.
AUSTIN: “What time is your flight?”
CASSIDY: “No idea.”
AUSTIN: “What?!”
CASSIDY: “I figured I would just book a flight when I got there. Shouldn't be hard to get a first class ticket to that shithole, I'm assuming no one wants to go there.”
AUSTIN: “So, you're going to buy yourself a last minute first class ticket?”
CASSIDY: “Nope”
She reaches in her pocket and pulls a credit card from her pocket.
CASSIDY: “You are.”
Austin chuckled.
AUSTIN: “Of course I am. How long will you be there.”
CASSIDY: “As little as I have to be. Probably a few days. Plus I have to fly out for Breakdown. I'm guessing a week, two...a month. I have no idea. I promise I will send you sexy snaps everyday!”
AUSTIN: “You don't know how long you're going to be gone, and that bag is all you packed?”
CASSIDY: “My ring gear and my favorite Louboutins? What else would I need?”
AUSTIN: “I don't know...clothes...other stuff for a long stay.”
CASSIDY: “Shows are life. Everything else, you will buy me along the way.”
AUSTIN: “Can I come with you?”
CASSIDY: “Nope.”
AUSTIN: “Well...fuck.”
Cassidy chuckled. They chatted back and forth for the rest of the ride to the airport. When they finally arrived at the drop off point, Cassidy leaned over and kissed Austin passionately.
CASSIDY: “I love you...I promise I will call you every day.”
It was a brief moment of honesty about how she felt about him. The moment hung in the air between them until a voice interrupted them.
FEMALE: “Um...hi. Are you my Uber?”
Fucking simpleton. Cassidy chuckled as she exited the vehicle, placing her purse and bag in the ground. Forcing a smile.
CASSIDY: “Sorry?”
FEMALE: “Oh...um...I was just wondering if he is my Uber?”
AUSTIN: “Um...I’m…”
CASSIDY: “He sure is!”
Austin looked at her in confusion again. She was a tourist, and this was clearly her first time using Uber. Fucking tourists.
FEMALE: “Are you sure...you're Tyrone?”
Austin looked at Cassidy before reluctantly answering.
AUSTIN: “I sure am.”
FEMALE: “I thought you were supposed to be black.”
Cassidy leaned in and whispered.
CASSIDY: “He has vitiligo. It's a super touchy subject for him, but I promise he’s the best Uber driver you'll ever have.”
The simpleton’s eyes lit up and she quickly shuffled her bags into the back seat. Austin shot Cassidy an annoyed look, but she just smiled back, waving in an exaggerated manner. There was a slight pause as she got in the front seat and Austin looked to Cassidy for help again. Cassidy blew him a kiss and winked, laughing as she grabbed her bag and purse and headed into the airport. She turned to watch as the black Mercedes hesitates, then pulled away from the curb, her chuckle turning into a laugh as she then watched the simpleton’s actual Uber arrive. Then, she turned, and headed into the airport.
---------------------PROMO-----------------------
The camera shudders as it always did, flashing to life and into focus as we see Cassidy Carter sitting in the sun room of an unfamiliar house. She betrays no emotion as she looks into the camera, her smile forced as she begins to speak.
CASSIDY: “Well...here we are again…”
She pauses for a moment.
CASSIDY: “You know what...I'm so fucking tired of this shit. This constant nonsense where I have to sit here and babble on. It seemed that the more I talk, the more I get distracted from the real goal. I fucking hate this...I fucking hate having to justify myself to pissant nobodies like Ruby, like O., like you pathetic little fans, trying to escape your failed little lives to live vicariously through people like me. Fuck you, every one of you!!! I'm not doing this anymore!!”
Cassidy stands up, grabbing the camera and bringing it close to her face.
CASSIDY: “You want a promo for your pathetic little channel...Well here it is..”
She pauses for dramatic effect.
CASSIDY: “I'm not just going to BEAT Ruby whateverthefuckhernameis, I'm going to stomp her skull to pieces. You want a fucking statement? Ruby’s bloody face will be my statement. I'm done walloworking kg at the bottom, forces to take on nobodies and never-will-bes. I am a former number one contender to the SCW Word Championship...and it’s time you and I remember that!!! So, get ready, make sure your kids are in bed, and if you are in the front rows, make sure you bring a tarp, because it will be a splash zone. I am Cassidy fucking Carter, and I AM FUCKING BACK!!!!”
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