01-25-2020, 05:43 PM
OOC: As lengthy as this may seem from me (even though I know I've done longer), I'm quite happy with what I did here. I even called a bit of an audible with my CD after some consideration, but the direction I decided to go in makes more sense realistically and allows for a chance for Blackbourne to reflect on where he stands between what's going on in his head and what's happening around him in reality. Plus, this gave me a perfect excuse to bring back an old friend I know some of you might miss. Best of luck to everyone involved!
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For as nice as Aaron could be, he often found it hard to cooperate with other people.
Sometimes, there was nothing more he would love than to be able to get along with everybody so he wouldn’t have to feel like he was under the excessive amount of stress and mental turmoil that seemed to plague him for a good part of his adult life, though even he knew full well that was wishful thinking at best. Concepts such as ‘world peace’ were always pipe dreams at best that sounded really nice on paper but were near impossible in execution, because the beauty of the differences in every human being also meant the guarantee that there would always be at least one face among the crowd who would proclaim themselves as simply ‘better’ for reasons that were often arbitrary. It was this idea that led to things like racism, sexism, shaming people based on their sexual preferences and even lesser things over the course of humanity’s existence, and it felt like the biggest reason Aaron found himself constantly having to fight, even if what he was fighting for was truly for the betterment of even those who’d proven they didn’t deserve it.
Those people were the reason why he had to deal with the monster in his head… a monster he wished he could be free of since he was already dealing with plenty of proverbial ‘monsters’ inside and out of SCW.
Despite his best efforts, he and Konrad had fallen short on Breakdown, though considering they were a first time pairing going up against an established team, the fact that they still gave them a challenge was certainly impressive. While a win certainly wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility, it had to be noted that Kandis and Tommy had a bit of help even if they didn’t ask for it. Despite being someone he was going to have to try and trust that Sunday night, Clyde Sutter made it clear he was even willing to screw his own partners over to drive home the point this was all about him and his own selfish needs would trump anything else, including the knowledge that he was going to have to put up with a few people he didn’t like just to get to the point where he could guarantee himself a reward before getting a chance to actually indulge in those selfish desires.
At least Aaron knew he could rely on Konrad and especially Owen to get through the first roadblock standing between them and a guarantee of Trios action this year.
Day of Infamy presented him with an interesting opportunity that certainly piqued his creative curiosity. After all, never before had SCW designed a match that basically made most of the Trios Tournament a certainty going in, eliminating most of the element of random chance to create a scenario where truly the best team would earn those coveted contracts that allowed for so much power and so many ideas. It even drew from what Trios had usually been about by relying on that element of randomness to test and see if you were truly ready to lead should you earn the opportunity to call yourself a captain going into that night, requiring you to work together with three other people to earn that right before immediately having to turn around and face every last one of them to determine the draft order for creating your team for the actual showcase. Even being named to be a part of this deciding match was an opportunity he hadn’t been expecting so early in the year, which had both a positive and negative effect on him.
“The only reason Nemesis has stuck around this long, to begin with, is because every opportunity seems to invite disaster for whatever reason.”
It was a bitter thought, but one he knew he had to put a quiet voice to as a definitive reminder of what he was fighting and why his plans for Day of Infamy already had falling back on opening the gates of his imagination crossed off. While Nemesis couldn’t entirely be blamed for it all, he certainly benefitted from scenarios that created the possibility of ‘one step forward and two steps back.’ As he sat in the waiting room of the small office building, he ran through all the positive opportunities he’d had since arriving in SCW so far and came to the realization that almost all of them had ended because of situations he’d never asked for. While his first TV Title reign was the only exception as he simply lost to the better competitor that night, his second had ended plagued with the actions and intrigue of Scarlet Grey shattering his focus just as his third had been cut short due to a combination of Nemesis directly altering his vision and Shilo deciding he needed to play games with his ‘successor.’ The Adrenaline Title opportunity he’d earned the previous year ultimately came during a time when part of his focus was on his brother’s death, just as the U.S. Title shot would always be remembered for him being unable to overcome a severe rib injury despite an incredible performance that was caused not by his opponent but someone who actually wanted him dead.
Even if he secured a spot in Trios and got to select at least one of his partners for that night, would he actually be able to earn a contract to do whatever he pleased with in the face of such a dark track record?
As his name was called and he was led back to one of the rooms, he knew that was the whole reason he was even here to begin with. As much as he would’ve preferred to be anywhere else, either training or trying to rest his weary head with something artistic in hopes it would soothe his soul long enough, he knew he had a very clear problem that needed to be resolved if he was to have any hope of getting the mental detachment necessary to make this less of a problem than what his active imagination had created for him to endure. As much as he wanted to trust in someone who should know all too well how to help, he knew there was a reason why he tended to avoid places like this or people like the one he was about to meet. Even still, there was no way he was going to be able to get what he needed without this, so he had to swallow his pride and pray he’d sought out the one person willing to hear him out and help him in his time of need.
“Welcome Aaron, please have a seat.”
The creative soul snapped out of his thoughts as he was led into the room and addressed by its only other occupant. He did as he was told and took a seat on the couch as he watched the door close, leaving him no way out of this now. He took a deep breath, trying to steel himself as his gaze slowly shifted to the man sitting across from him, but no matter how he tried to compare a mental picture to the real deal, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears as the two locked eyes and he found himself locked in to the one thing he told himself he would never do.
“I’m Dr. Marsh-Asher, though you can call me James if you’d prefer. Though I’m sure you probably recognize me by another name… I’ll be honest, this is a first for me, getting called for a session with someone competing for the same company I once worked for.”
Despite the kind smile the man offered, there was a palpable tension in the air, and while Aaron was certain it was because of him and his suppressed reasoning for trying not to even entertain this scenario that was now unfolding, part of him felt like there was a little bit of James that was playing into it as well. After all, the man was a former SCW World Champion, and once upon a time, he was viewed as the single biggest villain in the entire company, playing everyone involved in the business aspect of things like a fiddle all just to get to the top of the mountain with no remorse for any of his actions. Still, the man had seemingly retired for good aside from the odd appearance here or there and put in the time and effort to become a therapist in order to do some good with the experiences he always elaborated on in front of a camera and claimed they were all legitimate, and yet it was hard to shake the feeling that sitting before this SCW alumni as a current member of the roster was putting himself in the hot seat, though it could just be due to the artist’s general aversion to wanting to even be in this situation in the first place.
“Now, I know you sounded fairly urgent on the phone, but normally I don’t schedule appointments without at least a week or two’s notice in order to have time to get everything I need together unless it’s an emergency. I was willing to make an exception since I know SCW has that pay-per-view coming up tomorrow night over at the United Center and-”
“Can I just say something quick?”
James raised an eyebrow at being cut off like that, but the look he wore made it clear this wasn’t the first time he’d had a patient cut him off in a session like this and he quietly gave Aaron the floor to hear him out on whatever he wanted to say. He really didn’t want to say it, to begin with, as he had no idea what would result from it, but part of him felt the need to get this off his chest to paint the landscape of why this was such a big deal to him.
“I don’t mean to sound disrespectful Dr. Marsh-Asher, but I just wanted to be clear… I’m not a fan of being here right now, even if this isn’t SCW’s doing and I sought you out of my own volition. I’ve never trusted therapists because they always try to fit everything so neatly into a categorized system that I just don’t feel I fit into at all. What goes on inside my head is the product of an active imagination I’ve always been proud of, and one I know that people in your position would be quick to dismiss as the fantasies of a lunatic because it’s just ‘not normal.’ I know you’re going to try and probe around to get what you need, but I wanted to be clear that for as much as I feel I had to bite the bullet on this, I’m not just going to willingly accept whatever diagnosis you think is the cause of all my problems.”
Aaron saw the glare slowly form on the therapist’s face before he leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, rubbing the eyelids with his fingers as though it would somehow reveal he was just daydreaming this whole thing, but James was still sitting right there when he opened them again. What did startle him a bit, however, was the chuckle that left the lips of a man who, once upon a time, was one of the most devious tacticians to ever grace a wrestling ring.
“Well then, you certainly came to the right person after all.”
Aaron just blinked dumbly for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d heard that correctly. It didn’t seem like much, but he’d basically laid his cards on the table regarding his disdain for this whole process and James had shrugged it off like he was listening to anybody he’d have faced in the ring back in the day.
“Aaron, I know all about how much you pride yourself on your creativity. Even if we ignore the fact that I still keep up with SCW despite being retired and I see what you unleash almost every pay-per-view, I still have a good enough professional relationship with members of the SCW board to be able to get copies of files and documents regarding their competitors on short notice, so I’ve read up on everything I need to about you. You have nothing to be afraid of… you’re not dealing with a colleague of mine who’s probably spent a lifetime reading and going to school in order to get to where I am now, you’re dealing with a man who had a childhood of traumatic life experiences and decades of dealing with a voice in his head to build me into someone willing to work ‘outside the box’ if need be to get the results that work best for you.”
Aaron almost had to do a double-take as James grabbed a notepad and started to settle in. He’d watched back plenty of old footage while acquainting himself with SCW prior to signing his contract years ago where this man had talked about both his past and claimed that James and his wrestling identity of Thirteen were actually two separate entities, but hearing him talk so casually about it made it hard to believe he’d been lying about any of that even knowing full well he was arming potential opponents with ammunition against him back then.
“So, what is it that brings you in today? Forgive me if I’m wording this in a way that offends you, but I want you to paint a picture for me about what makes Aaron Blackbourne tick and why you feel there’s a problem severe enough that warrants stepping outside of your comfort zone to come and talk to someone like me?”
Aaron bit his bottom lip, clearly nervous that he was now at the part he’d always dreaded when running through this scenario in his head regardless of who sat across from him analyzing it, but he took a deep breath and leaned forward, doing his best to focus on James and read his expression as he weaved his narrative together.
“Well… I don’t know how weird this will sound to someone like you I guess, but… I tend to treat my imagination as its own little world, separate from reality. It’s not just thoughts in my head I can call upon when doing something artistic, it’s an actual landscape where every idea I’ve ever had is given its own home, its own life and a chance to essentially operate in there as I do out here to grow and develop. I’ve even gotten into the habit of daydreaming or training myself how to enter a state of lucid dreaming when I sleep so I can immerse myself in this world, becoming an active part in it while knowing full well that reality is an entire world away in those moments.”
James is clearly intrigued as he jots a few things down, as it’s pretty hard to miss the curiosity in his tone when he speaks up.
“Is it safe to assume that for all the good things you have going on in your own little world, there are a few bad things that happen as well?”
“Unfortunately… every now and then I’ve had some creations that have sought to cause harm to what I’ve built, born from more negative feelings running through my head. Some have simply been ideas that I gave a form to but seemingly abandoned them for no justifiable reason, but one, in particular, has attached itself to being the literal face of all my darker thoughts and more stressful situations. He calls himself Nemesis because that’s exactly what he is: the antithesis of who I am that seeks to break me down until I can’t even recognize who I am anymore.”
James closes his eyes as he presses the back end of his pen into his chin. To most people, it would appear as though he were deep in thought about something, but the way his face slightly contorted every now and then was familiar to the creative soul. He’d felt it in his own facial muscles whenever he was having a mental conversation with one of his creations, usually the aforementioned personification of his inner darkness. It was surprising and a little unnerving seeing someone else seemingly having a conversation with something in their head.
“Tell me something Aaron… what all has this Nemesis done, and how has it been affecting you?”
“W-well… at first, it was just moments where he was kind of this mocking voice in my head, trying to convince me of bad ideas or worst-case scenarios about something or someone to try and keep me in a constant state of stress, which he feeds off of. There… may have been a few moments where it felt like he was trying to take control, something that only ever happens when I allow it. All my ‘demons’ you’ve probably seen me portray every now and then? It’s more than just bodypaint and acting a little differently, it’s moments where I’m stepping aside mentally and letting a creation of mine actually take the wheel to decide how I operate in the ring. It’s not something that happens without me allowing for it, though… yet it doesn’t stop him from trying, or in most cases, simply altering my perception of reality to see things that aren’t actually there, which has impacted my performance in the ring on several occasions.”
He truly hated to admit that, considering it sounded like he was making excuses for losing even when he was telling the truth because the whole thing sounded so farfetched, but up to this point he’d at least restrained himself from saying anything publicly on the matter to avoid any further ire from those who would only worsen the problem, like the Clyde Sutters or the Sienna Swanns of the world. It didn’t make him any more comfortable admitting it in a private conversation to a man who was well-respected in the ring even if you hated his actions outside of it.
James eyed Aaron carefully, reading how uncomfortable he was making such admissions even if it was the kind of information he needed to try and piece together the puzzle of how to help this man. He slowly reached behind himself and grabbed a folder before opening it up, scanning through some of the information he’d asked for about the creative soul in order to prepare for this session.
“Forgive me if I’m delving into a subject that’s sensitive… but I’m seeing here that within the past year you lost one of your brothers to a man who then tried months later to take your life as well and ended up taking his own in the struggle instead. What sort of effect, if any, has that had on you or the world you’ve created for yourself in your head?”
Aaron took a moment to massage his forehead, hating that he was being asked to reflect back on those thoughts even if he knew it was necessary. This didn’t go unnoticed by James, but he stayed quiet and let the man have a moment to think about how he wanted to answer this.
“My brother Andrew… for years before he was murdered, he was in a highly toxic relationship with the man who ultimately ripped his life away from him. It changed him for the worse, and the stress of him not listening to anything myself or my family tried to help get him out of it combined with him just expecting to vent to me about his problems and being able to ignore when I had sound, rational advice to fix them is what contributed to Nemesis coming into existence in the first place. When he died, it was fuel for that… thing to be able to keep plaguing my thoughts about how I let him down even though I feel I did everything in my power to try and get him out of it. When Dylan attacked me before Rise to Greatness and ended up killing himself, I thought I would finally be able to get some semblance of peace of mind… I know that may sound horrible talking about another person dying, but after everything he put my family and I through it was hard to feel any remorse for the way he ultimately went. Instead, I’ve been plagued by thoughts and visions ever since, with Nemesis trying to use my thoughts to justify the belief that I’m actually responsible for killing him and should be punished accordingly instead of getting off ‘scot-free.’ That was what happened when my last title reign ended… everyone thinks Shilo distracted me, and while he did have a part to play it was actually one of those visions that caused me to hesitate just enough to get caught.”
James exhaled a bit louder than he intended to at the mention of Shilo’s name, considering he’d had a bit of his own history with the entertainer, but he maintained his composure. A few more notes were jotted down before he set the folder aside and seemed to return to whatever mental conversation he was having. While the silence of the whole thing was starting to make Aaron more nervous about this whole ordeal, James was clearly trying to make sure he handled this whole thing appropriately to not justify Aaron’s previous position about therapists. He was dealing with a man who needed help, after all, even if he didn’t think he needed it from someone like him.
“First off Aaron, in regards to Shilo… Thirteen wants me to tell you that you’re better off forgetting about him. We’ve both seen what’s been going on between you two, and he doesn’t deserve to be consuming your focus. He won’t be content with a lack of finality to your little feud, but if you keep giving him attention he’s just going to keep you waiting. Focus on getting your career back on track… if he truly takes issue with you ignoring his existence he’ll resurface, and you’ll be ready for him.”
Aaron couldn’t help but grin a bit at the advice. Sure, it felt odd hearing James relay what seemed like information from his ‘other self’ but considering all the different voices he’d given life to inside his own head, did he really have any right to judge? It at least helped ease some of the tension present in the room, and the artist knew that if there was anyone he could listen to about his Shilo problem, it would be the self-professed Angel of Death that not only toppled the man en route to his World Title reign but also went to war with him and attempted to establish a partnership with him afterward.
“In regards to your ‘Nemesis’ problem, this is where things get a bit more complicated. I don’t want to outright diagnose you with anything yet, not when I feel like there’s still more pieces I’m missing from this proverbial puzzle, but right now I have several working theories based on what I do know. One seems very likely to me based on my own experience with the subject, and that’s the possibility of multiple personalities. I don’t want to nail that one down just yet, though, because there’s more to this than just Nemesis. He’s definitely the primary antagonist, but unlike with me and Thirteen, he’s not the only voice existing in your mind aside from your own. Others would be playing a greater role in response to him in a struggle for control, either to just take it away from you or to flat out decide which one among them will assume control in the aftermath, and that doesn’t sound like the case right now.”
Aaron returned to biting his bottom lip, knowing the possibility certainly fit with a lot of what had happened. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the Twin Stars and their efforts to assume control before realizing they needed to make amends with their creator to present a unified front to stop the nightmare of negativity, but they had been the next biggest group of players in this game up to this point. While his other ideas and designs were involved as well, they pretty much sided directly with him in the war without question, which made him wonder if he truly did have multiple personalities masquerading as his imaginary world or if h was overthinking this possibility.
“That said, I can’t ignore the trauma you’ve suffered through in the past year, where Nemesis and some of your issues seem to predate and have only escalated in the aftermath. That escalation is what I’m looking at in particular, though, because it sounds like this hasn’t become anything more than an inconvenience or a distraction at best up until then, especially with what happened on Rise to Greatness weekend becoming where many of your problems seem to have anchored themselves. Given how active you’ve made it clear your imagination is, this could simply boil down to a case of post-traumatic stress disorder with your creativity inadvertently amplifying a lot of the more negative thoughts and visions you’ve been having.”
James set his notepad aside for a moment and folded his hands in his lap, trying to appear as calm as possible to make sure Aaron was at ease before moving forward. After all, he knew full well from past sessions that this could very well be the calm before the storm, and things could still escalate when it seemed like they were in the clear.
“I suppose that brings us back to your decision to come here in the first place. Given how nervous I’ve noticed you being throughout our session so far, and understandably so, I guess it’s important for me to know what you were hoping to take away from this here today. I imagine some peace of mind before your match tomorrow night is the obvious one and you felt that since you were in my neck of the woods it was worth a shot, but if we come to an agreement that this needs to be more than a one-time thing I need you to be honest with me about where you think things needs to go from here. Because, if I can be honest for a moment, I feel like there’s enough here to warrant future sessions as there is certainly more going on here than just you maybe believing you’ve simply lost control of your imagination.”
Aaron opened his mouth to respond, then immediately closed it. He knew what he wanted to say, but now that the time had come he was hesitant to actually put a voice to the thought. What he was asking for was effectively dangerous not just for him, but such a rash idea seemed like his only option. It was at that moment he could hear Nemesis practically laughing from deep in his subconscious, taunting him over not being able to pull the trigger after he’d waited and observed up to this point to see where Aaron was even looking to go with all of this. Before he could think over how to approach this in a more delicate manner, his mouth decided to just get it over with.
“…I want to be heavily sedated.”
The seemingly unshakeable visage the doctor had been portraying throughout this entire session actually broke as he looked a bit taken aback by what he’d just heard. For a moment, he even wondered if, and kind of hoped, he’d misheard what was said.
“…excuse me?”
“I said I want to be sedated. Not now, since I have to contend with trying to earn this big Trios opportunity tomorrow night, but if I can find an opening in SCW’s schedule… I know it sounds crazy, and I’m probably asking for a lot, but I guess I feel like you might be the one doctor who could actually do this for me after how this session’s gone today. I can’t deny the fact that there is a war going on in my head for control, with Nemesis leading one side and me commanding the other along with just about every other creature, design, and idea I’ve ever had standing by my side. I firmly believe that I can resolve this problem if I can just forcibly detach the idea of Nemesis from everything I’ve allowed him to embody so they can go back to just being feelings… but I have no way of remaining in my head for long enough to see a possible final battle through. I can’t sleep for however long I may need or have the freedom to daydream without being pulled out of it and away from the fight, even if I entrust the few people I’ve bared my soul to about this to practically stand guard and try to keep that from happening. I think the only way I can be certain I have the time I need to do this is-”
“Do you fully understand what you’re asking of me?”
Aaron wanted to keep going, and he felt a bit of frustration creep in at being cut off, but James clearly looked like he needed to put his foot down after what he did hear. He rose to a stand, his body tensing in a manner that looked reminiscent of how prepared Thirteen was to grapple at a moment’s notice in the ring, like he was preparing himself for if things suddenly got ugly and he needed to defend himself. The look he gave Aaron was understanding, but very stern and not open to listening any further.
“You’re suggesting a rather extreme course of action here Aaron, for an issue you haven’t exactly shared with me in full until just now. To put it all into perspective so you can truly comprehend the full scope of what you’re asking of me: you effectively want me to put you into a medically-induced coma so you have the freedom to try and lucid dream long enough to resolve this matter on your own, without any regard to the fact that I’m being asked to risk my career as a therapist on a course of action I don’t even know if I have the clearance to even consider in the first place, nor the fact that I cannot guarantee your safety as doing this results in just as likely a chance that you don’t ever wake up, regardless of whether you succeed or fail in whatever you hope to accomplish in regards to Nemesis. Something like this is not to be taken lightly and poses several serious health risks that can go beyond what I’m licensed to help with, and even in regards to doctors who I know for sure have that kind of clearance an option like this is only considered as a last resort to try and preserve the body in the face of an affliction that is almost certain death without a long and complicated surgery with little chance of success in and of itself.”
Aaron slowly rose to a stand, though his body language made it clear he wasn’t looking for a fight. He’d weighed the pros and cons several times already and knew he was asking for something that was both extreme and probably next to impossible to obtain, but even he didn’t fully grasp the full scope of this until Dr. Marsh-Asher laid all the cards on the table for him. He had blindly dedicated himself to the possibly only answer given to him by Zeitgeist that had led him here in the first place and was only now running into the brick wall that was reality about taking such an unnecessary risk to his overall well-being just to sort out the problems in his head, imaginary or otherwise. Even if the idea wasn’t endearing to the therapist, he began to realize that if anything went wrong it would affect far more than just him… Liane would lose the man she believed was the love of her life, Owen would lose arguably one of his best friends and a man who’d dedicated just as much time to helping watch the kid’s back ad he’d done for the creative soul, his family would be down two sons in the span of two years which was liable to completely destroy them in ways he couldn’t even begin to imagine…
“I think we’re done for today. I’ve given you something to seriously think about, and that’s all I’ll say on that matter for the moment. Even if SCW doesn’t bring you through Chicago again in the near future, you’re free to stay in contact with me. Right now, though… I think you have a bit more thought to give to this before you go hanging your hat on such a risky decision. I don’t mean to end this on a sour note, but… there’s more I can do to help you than just put you in a position where your life is at risk over something that, no matter how bad it may get, just isn’t worth it.”
Even after all of that and how things seemed like they were falling apart at the end, James still extended his hand to show there was no ill will to be had here. He understood the young man’s hesitation to even go through with this appointment because of how he feared his creative mind would be perceived, but there were still lines in the sand that needed to be drawn that he had to be shown. Aaron would at least accept the handshake and agree to stay in contact before he left, but he had a lot more weighing on his mind now that primarily summed itself up in one question:
Was he truly desperate enough to risk losing everything just for the sake of mental stability?
In SCW history, never has there been an event that sums up this idea better than the Trios Tournament. In past years, the vast majority of this endeavor has seen teams drawn entirely at random that often put you with at least one person you have issues with, and the endgame is simply trying to prove that the reward is enough to put aside any and all differences just for one night. When you look back on the history of that tournament it truly makes you appreciate how challenging that must have been considering some of the winning combinations, a few of which even imploded before the end and still saw that trio come out on top somehow. It’s tests like these that always interest me because sometimes it takes true strength just to put up with someone who detests you even for the stupidest of reasons, and it’s impossible to say that you didn’t earn it if you manage to go all the way.
The formula may have changed a bit for this year, but the core concept remains the same, which brings me to Sunday night.
In the spirit of how Trios has been done in the past, there are two matches that will each pit two teams of four against one another. Every member of all the teams has been paired together with no rhyme or reason, and you’re tasked with trying to make it work because every member of the winning team secures a spot as a team captain for the actual tournament this year, getting the right to handpick at least one member in an effort to try and give a little more control to one’s own fate in that hunt for the highly coveted prize of a contract that allows its holder any one match of their choosing. To further add to this little twist, if you did find yourself paired up with someone you have a problem with, you get a chance to settle it immediately afterward as the winning team then breaks down into a four-way dance to help decide the draft order.
I would think that’s enough incentive to be able to cooperate long enough to take care of business in the first round of things.
I truly consider myself lucky with the team I ended up being a part of, for the most part. After all, I can’t say I’ve ever found myself with an opportunity to team with Owen Cruze despite our friendship that’s persisted ever since we both first set foot in this company. What started off as mutual respect after we first crossed paths in the ring evolved into a pact to watch each others’ backs when it became clear a few people didn’t exactly like us because they couldn’t look past the fact we were getting wins over them and it kept them from going where they thought they should be in the pecking order around here, and it’s since become one of the rare instances where I can truly say I made a friend that will stick with me even if I found a reason to retire after this pay-per-view and walked away completely. I trust Owen with my life and I know he feels the same about me, so I think it’s safe to say there’s enough chemistry there to be able to handle whatever Day of Infamy throws at us. And before some of you begin to think you can drive a wedge between us, look at the fact that we were the final two in the open invitational back at the end of 2018 and we set aside our friendship to go to war with one another with no ill effects after it was all set and done. We can throw down with each other on the same level as we would with the best SCW has to offer, and it’s not going to change a thing between us, which is more than can often be said about those hoping that wouldn’t be the case.
Then there’s Konrad Raab, and while I know I’ve brought this up before, I truly can’t understand why so many people have a problem with this man. True, you may think I have a reason to take issue with him considering we lost this past Breakdown, but maybe I just have a more open mind than many of you do. Konrad’s a man I would happily compete against as much as I would stand by his side because he’s always pushing forward and bettering himself no matter what obstacles end up in his path. Any setback he’s suffered has only made him stronger, and the more I think about it… the more I begin to realize what this supposed issue may actually be. Many out there have no problem taking shots at Konrad because of his age or the fact that he may not have the greatest track record, and yet these are the exact same individuals who have public meltdowns and scream at the top of their lungs that they were screwed eight ways from Sunday when things stop going their way because maybe, just maybe, they actually weren’t good enough to prevail at that moment no matter how much they convinced themselves otherwise. Couple that with the fact that this man, who is older than many of us in this business, is still pushing forward and not breaking down should things begin to falter, and I think it’s a matter of many of you feeling self-conscious that he is, in fact, better than you at something after all and you just can’t process this challenge to the world you’ve built behind those rose-tinted lenses. Maybe you can actually learn something from Konrad if you actually get your heads out of your asses for just a few moments.
Then again, maybe I’m just being hopeful, just like I wanted to be about Clyde Sutter.
Oh, how quickly we forget, huh Clyde? For as much as I know you hate the idea that you’re teaming with three guys who don’t exactly share your philosophy on this business, you need to remember that at least one of them has a win to his name over you. If that proves anything, it’s that I’m not simply going to stand here and let you bully me around thinking that you need to do this solo because that’s the quickest way our team is going to lose out on this opportunity. I know, you see it differently, but I should point out that despite your sense of entitlement, you’re the only one on our side that has nothing to his name when we’re supposed to go up against four highly decorated names in this company. That’s more reason for you to try and prove yourself, sure, but this is where your manager needs to actually rein you in and make you see the bigger picture, because if you think you’re going to pull this off single-handedly? I can promise worrying about immediately finding yourself facing three men that respect one another and have an issue with you, in general, will be the least of your concerns. I don’t think it’s asking for too much to put your ego aside for a few minutes just to at least deal with the challenge at hand, and then you can go back to doing things however you please even if I can promise it won’t end well for you once you’ve actually got a Trios team to think about.
Trust me when I say that I wish I didn’t have to try, probably in vain, to paint that picture for him, but considering what we’re up against I’d rather take the chance and hope he listens.
After all, I wasn’t joking when I said we’re up against a highly decorated team, especially considering three of them are former World Champions.
One I know has to be riding high right about now is Tommy Valentine. How does it feel Tommy, finally feeling like you’ve shut me up and proven yourself right about me all along? Except… you haven’t. Congratulations, you and Kandis managed to beat Konrad and me on Breakdown, but I wouldn’t start assuming that guarantees anything for Day of Infamy. As I told Clyde back when he and I faced off one-on-one before any of this was even announced, when you’re in that ring everybody has a fair shot. You’ve managed to prevail over me, true, but I can easily say the same in regards to some of our past encounters. You hold no certainty over me going into this match, especially since this time you don’t have a partner you’re experienced with to lend a hand. We’re on even footing again Tommy, standing beside at least one partner we each have an issue with for one reason or another and two that know what it’s like to be champion, and while your side may have the more impressive resume, that hasn’t stopped me from finding a way to prevail before. Just ask your old friend Syren how well that worked out for her months ago.
Plus… if the battle royal I won last year around this time that got me my Adrenaline Title shot was any indication, I can still find a way to rise to the occasion even without any momentum in my favor, so consider that for a moment.
Marie Jones is the only other person in this match I have any direct experience with in some capacity, considering she’s the one who ended my first TV Title reign. Believe me, I haven’t forgotten Marie, and I know we’ve both only grown and evolved as competitors since then. It hasn’t always been the clearest of paths, considering you had a moment where you let yourself be swayed by the likes of Syren and Ravyn to further their agenda because of a title shot that, while you did get it, you had to know they weren’t letting you take the belt away that easily. Honestly, though? I’d like to think you truly picked something up out of that whole ordeal considering you and Kim stood strong in the aftermath and even got yourselves a run as Tag Champions before things in that division got messy because, of course, Infamous got involved in matters again. I know you’re not the same competitor you were during those times, though… nor are you the same one I actually faced back when I could first call myself a champion. I can only hope you realize the same is true of me, because while I know you want to add more to your resume, the fact that you do have more to your name than I do only makes me that much hungrier to add to my own self-portrait. Maybe it’s long overdue that we have this little clash because a lot has changed over the past year or two and there’s still so much more to prove now.
That then leaves me with two World Champions that I’ll have my first taste of action with, starting with the recently returned Jay Gold. Hall of Famer, first Supreme Champion in SCW history, two time World Champion… to say that I should be intimidated is an understatement. Even not being in action for quite some time, you proved fairly recently that there’s no sign of rust when you defeated Autumn Valentine. It truly is an honor to be able to share the ring with such a highly touted name, even if some others in this match probably don’t share that same attitude. You’re someone who understands what this business should be about and isn’t afraid to say why you’ve come back… though I also hope you understand that for as much as I know you’d love to guarantee a shot at a Trios contract, like with Marie I can’t simply let you add to your already impressive career while I still feel like I have a ways to go and this could be just what I needed to open a few doors for myself. Mark my words Jay… legend or no, I’m going to come at you with everything I’ve got, and I know my partners will do the same, so I hope you’re ready.
Just as I hope you are as well, Selena.
I’m not going to lie… I have a great deal of respect for you Selena, even if many others don’t seem to. In addition to everything you’ve accomplished, you’ve proven more than ready to stand your ground and call people out on their B.S. time and time again no matter how much they don’t think they should be opposed. Many hate that and the idea that you’re considered the face of this company, but if you ask me? SCW should have more people like you, willing to fight for what they believe in and not simply stand back and let those with delusions of grandeur do as they see fit because all they know how to comprehend is the utopia in their heads where they, and they alone, are on top. As much as I would’ve liked for it to happen one-on-one, I’m truly glad that in some capacity I’m finally getting the chance to test myself against you to see where I stand in SCW right now, and I swear to you that you will get nothing but my absolute best come Sunday night because that’s exactly what you deserve. No worrying about Xander when we both know Regan can take care of him, just a clash of some of the best SCW has to offer to see who’s better at the end of this night.
What more do you need to ask for?
I know I may seem like I’m all over the place, but that’s what happens when you’re faced with the unknown that Trios tends to bring with it, and I can promise you all that no matter what happens, Chicago will be the site of a perfect preview of what will be in store when the night of that tournament rolls around.
And with any luck? I’ll get to add my own chapter to that story when February 16 rolls around.
---------------------------------------
For as nice as Aaron could be, he often found it hard to cooperate with other people.
Sometimes, there was nothing more he would love than to be able to get along with everybody so he wouldn’t have to feel like he was under the excessive amount of stress and mental turmoil that seemed to plague him for a good part of his adult life, though even he knew full well that was wishful thinking at best. Concepts such as ‘world peace’ were always pipe dreams at best that sounded really nice on paper but were near impossible in execution, because the beauty of the differences in every human being also meant the guarantee that there would always be at least one face among the crowd who would proclaim themselves as simply ‘better’ for reasons that were often arbitrary. It was this idea that led to things like racism, sexism, shaming people based on their sexual preferences and even lesser things over the course of humanity’s existence, and it felt like the biggest reason Aaron found himself constantly having to fight, even if what he was fighting for was truly for the betterment of even those who’d proven they didn’t deserve it.
Those people were the reason why he had to deal with the monster in his head… a monster he wished he could be free of since he was already dealing with plenty of proverbial ‘monsters’ inside and out of SCW.
Despite his best efforts, he and Konrad had fallen short on Breakdown, though considering they were a first time pairing going up against an established team, the fact that they still gave them a challenge was certainly impressive. While a win certainly wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility, it had to be noted that Kandis and Tommy had a bit of help even if they didn’t ask for it. Despite being someone he was going to have to try and trust that Sunday night, Clyde Sutter made it clear he was even willing to screw his own partners over to drive home the point this was all about him and his own selfish needs would trump anything else, including the knowledge that he was going to have to put up with a few people he didn’t like just to get to the point where he could guarantee himself a reward before getting a chance to actually indulge in those selfish desires.
At least Aaron knew he could rely on Konrad and especially Owen to get through the first roadblock standing between them and a guarantee of Trios action this year.
Day of Infamy presented him with an interesting opportunity that certainly piqued his creative curiosity. After all, never before had SCW designed a match that basically made most of the Trios Tournament a certainty going in, eliminating most of the element of random chance to create a scenario where truly the best team would earn those coveted contracts that allowed for so much power and so many ideas. It even drew from what Trios had usually been about by relying on that element of randomness to test and see if you were truly ready to lead should you earn the opportunity to call yourself a captain going into that night, requiring you to work together with three other people to earn that right before immediately having to turn around and face every last one of them to determine the draft order for creating your team for the actual showcase. Even being named to be a part of this deciding match was an opportunity he hadn’t been expecting so early in the year, which had both a positive and negative effect on him.
“The only reason Nemesis has stuck around this long, to begin with, is because every opportunity seems to invite disaster for whatever reason.”
It was a bitter thought, but one he knew he had to put a quiet voice to as a definitive reminder of what he was fighting and why his plans for Day of Infamy already had falling back on opening the gates of his imagination crossed off. While Nemesis couldn’t entirely be blamed for it all, he certainly benefitted from scenarios that created the possibility of ‘one step forward and two steps back.’ As he sat in the waiting room of the small office building, he ran through all the positive opportunities he’d had since arriving in SCW so far and came to the realization that almost all of them had ended because of situations he’d never asked for. While his first TV Title reign was the only exception as he simply lost to the better competitor that night, his second had ended plagued with the actions and intrigue of Scarlet Grey shattering his focus just as his third had been cut short due to a combination of Nemesis directly altering his vision and Shilo deciding he needed to play games with his ‘successor.’ The Adrenaline Title opportunity he’d earned the previous year ultimately came during a time when part of his focus was on his brother’s death, just as the U.S. Title shot would always be remembered for him being unable to overcome a severe rib injury despite an incredible performance that was caused not by his opponent but someone who actually wanted him dead.
Even if he secured a spot in Trios and got to select at least one of his partners for that night, would he actually be able to earn a contract to do whatever he pleased with in the face of such a dark track record?
As his name was called and he was led back to one of the rooms, he knew that was the whole reason he was even here to begin with. As much as he would’ve preferred to be anywhere else, either training or trying to rest his weary head with something artistic in hopes it would soothe his soul long enough, he knew he had a very clear problem that needed to be resolved if he was to have any hope of getting the mental detachment necessary to make this less of a problem than what his active imagination had created for him to endure. As much as he wanted to trust in someone who should know all too well how to help, he knew there was a reason why he tended to avoid places like this or people like the one he was about to meet. Even still, there was no way he was going to be able to get what he needed without this, so he had to swallow his pride and pray he’d sought out the one person willing to hear him out and help him in his time of need.
“Welcome Aaron, please have a seat.”
The creative soul snapped out of his thoughts as he was led into the room and addressed by its only other occupant. He did as he was told and took a seat on the couch as he watched the door close, leaving him no way out of this now. He took a deep breath, trying to steel himself as his gaze slowly shifted to the man sitting across from him, but no matter how he tried to compare a mental picture to the real deal, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears as the two locked eyes and he found himself locked in to the one thing he told himself he would never do.
“I’m Dr. Marsh-Asher, though you can call me James if you’d prefer. Though I’m sure you probably recognize me by another name… I’ll be honest, this is a first for me, getting called for a session with someone competing for the same company I once worked for.”
Despite the kind smile the man offered, there was a palpable tension in the air, and while Aaron was certain it was because of him and his suppressed reasoning for trying not to even entertain this scenario that was now unfolding, part of him felt like there was a little bit of James that was playing into it as well. After all, the man was a former SCW World Champion, and once upon a time, he was viewed as the single biggest villain in the entire company, playing everyone involved in the business aspect of things like a fiddle all just to get to the top of the mountain with no remorse for any of his actions. Still, the man had seemingly retired for good aside from the odd appearance here or there and put in the time and effort to become a therapist in order to do some good with the experiences he always elaborated on in front of a camera and claimed they were all legitimate, and yet it was hard to shake the feeling that sitting before this SCW alumni as a current member of the roster was putting himself in the hot seat, though it could just be due to the artist’s general aversion to wanting to even be in this situation in the first place.
“Now, I know you sounded fairly urgent on the phone, but normally I don’t schedule appointments without at least a week or two’s notice in order to have time to get everything I need together unless it’s an emergency. I was willing to make an exception since I know SCW has that pay-per-view coming up tomorrow night over at the United Center and-”
“Can I just say something quick?”
James raised an eyebrow at being cut off like that, but the look he wore made it clear this wasn’t the first time he’d had a patient cut him off in a session like this and he quietly gave Aaron the floor to hear him out on whatever he wanted to say. He really didn’t want to say it, to begin with, as he had no idea what would result from it, but part of him felt the need to get this off his chest to paint the landscape of why this was such a big deal to him.
“I don’t mean to sound disrespectful Dr. Marsh-Asher, but I just wanted to be clear… I’m not a fan of being here right now, even if this isn’t SCW’s doing and I sought you out of my own volition. I’ve never trusted therapists because they always try to fit everything so neatly into a categorized system that I just don’t feel I fit into at all. What goes on inside my head is the product of an active imagination I’ve always been proud of, and one I know that people in your position would be quick to dismiss as the fantasies of a lunatic because it’s just ‘not normal.’ I know you’re going to try and probe around to get what you need, but I wanted to be clear that for as much as I feel I had to bite the bullet on this, I’m not just going to willingly accept whatever diagnosis you think is the cause of all my problems.”
Aaron saw the glare slowly form on the therapist’s face before he leaned back into the couch and closed his eyes, rubbing the eyelids with his fingers as though it would somehow reveal he was just daydreaming this whole thing, but James was still sitting right there when he opened them again. What did startle him a bit, however, was the chuckle that left the lips of a man who, once upon a time, was one of the most devious tacticians to ever grace a wrestling ring.
“Well then, you certainly came to the right person after all.”
Aaron just blinked dumbly for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d heard that correctly. It didn’t seem like much, but he’d basically laid his cards on the table regarding his disdain for this whole process and James had shrugged it off like he was listening to anybody he’d have faced in the ring back in the day.
“Aaron, I know all about how much you pride yourself on your creativity. Even if we ignore the fact that I still keep up with SCW despite being retired and I see what you unleash almost every pay-per-view, I still have a good enough professional relationship with members of the SCW board to be able to get copies of files and documents regarding their competitors on short notice, so I’ve read up on everything I need to about you. You have nothing to be afraid of… you’re not dealing with a colleague of mine who’s probably spent a lifetime reading and going to school in order to get to where I am now, you’re dealing with a man who had a childhood of traumatic life experiences and decades of dealing with a voice in his head to build me into someone willing to work ‘outside the box’ if need be to get the results that work best for you.”
Aaron almost had to do a double-take as James grabbed a notepad and started to settle in. He’d watched back plenty of old footage while acquainting himself with SCW prior to signing his contract years ago where this man had talked about both his past and claimed that James and his wrestling identity of Thirteen were actually two separate entities, but hearing him talk so casually about it made it hard to believe he’d been lying about any of that even knowing full well he was arming potential opponents with ammunition against him back then.
“So, what is it that brings you in today? Forgive me if I’m wording this in a way that offends you, but I want you to paint a picture for me about what makes Aaron Blackbourne tick and why you feel there’s a problem severe enough that warrants stepping outside of your comfort zone to come and talk to someone like me?”
Aaron bit his bottom lip, clearly nervous that he was now at the part he’d always dreaded when running through this scenario in his head regardless of who sat across from him analyzing it, but he took a deep breath and leaned forward, doing his best to focus on James and read his expression as he weaved his narrative together.
“Well… I don’t know how weird this will sound to someone like you I guess, but… I tend to treat my imagination as its own little world, separate from reality. It’s not just thoughts in my head I can call upon when doing something artistic, it’s an actual landscape where every idea I’ve ever had is given its own home, its own life and a chance to essentially operate in there as I do out here to grow and develop. I’ve even gotten into the habit of daydreaming or training myself how to enter a state of lucid dreaming when I sleep so I can immerse myself in this world, becoming an active part in it while knowing full well that reality is an entire world away in those moments.”
James is clearly intrigued as he jots a few things down, as it’s pretty hard to miss the curiosity in his tone when he speaks up.
“Is it safe to assume that for all the good things you have going on in your own little world, there are a few bad things that happen as well?”
“Unfortunately… every now and then I’ve had some creations that have sought to cause harm to what I’ve built, born from more negative feelings running through my head. Some have simply been ideas that I gave a form to but seemingly abandoned them for no justifiable reason, but one, in particular, has attached itself to being the literal face of all my darker thoughts and more stressful situations. He calls himself Nemesis because that’s exactly what he is: the antithesis of who I am that seeks to break me down until I can’t even recognize who I am anymore.”
James closes his eyes as he presses the back end of his pen into his chin. To most people, it would appear as though he were deep in thought about something, but the way his face slightly contorted every now and then was familiar to the creative soul. He’d felt it in his own facial muscles whenever he was having a mental conversation with one of his creations, usually the aforementioned personification of his inner darkness. It was surprising and a little unnerving seeing someone else seemingly having a conversation with something in their head.
“Tell me something Aaron… what all has this Nemesis done, and how has it been affecting you?”
“W-well… at first, it was just moments where he was kind of this mocking voice in my head, trying to convince me of bad ideas or worst-case scenarios about something or someone to try and keep me in a constant state of stress, which he feeds off of. There… may have been a few moments where it felt like he was trying to take control, something that only ever happens when I allow it. All my ‘demons’ you’ve probably seen me portray every now and then? It’s more than just bodypaint and acting a little differently, it’s moments where I’m stepping aside mentally and letting a creation of mine actually take the wheel to decide how I operate in the ring. It’s not something that happens without me allowing for it, though… yet it doesn’t stop him from trying, or in most cases, simply altering my perception of reality to see things that aren’t actually there, which has impacted my performance in the ring on several occasions.”
He truly hated to admit that, considering it sounded like he was making excuses for losing even when he was telling the truth because the whole thing sounded so farfetched, but up to this point he’d at least restrained himself from saying anything publicly on the matter to avoid any further ire from those who would only worsen the problem, like the Clyde Sutters or the Sienna Swanns of the world. It didn’t make him any more comfortable admitting it in a private conversation to a man who was well-respected in the ring even if you hated his actions outside of it.
James eyed Aaron carefully, reading how uncomfortable he was making such admissions even if it was the kind of information he needed to try and piece together the puzzle of how to help this man. He slowly reached behind himself and grabbed a folder before opening it up, scanning through some of the information he’d asked for about the creative soul in order to prepare for this session.
“Forgive me if I’m delving into a subject that’s sensitive… but I’m seeing here that within the past year you lost one of your brothers to a man who then tried months later to take your life as well and ended up taking his own in the struggle instead. What sort of effect, if any, has that had on you or the world you’ve created for yourself in your head?”
Aaron took a moment to massage his forehead, hating that he was being asked to reflect back on those thoughts even if he knew it was necessary. This didn’t go unnoticed by James, but he stayed quiet and let the man have a moment to think about how he wanted to answer this.
“My brother Andrew… for years before he was murdered, he was in a highly toxic relationship with the man who ultimately ripped his life away from him. It changed him for the worse, and the stress of him not listening to anything myself or my family tried to help get him out of it combined with him just expecting to vent to me about his problems and being able to ignore when I had sound, rational advice to fix them is what contributed to Nemesis coming into existence in the first place. When he died, it was fuel for that… thing to be able to keep plaguing my thoughts about how I let him down even though I feel I did everything in my power to try and get him out of it. When Dylan attacked me before Rise to Greatness and ended up killing himself, I thought I would finally be able to get some semblance of peace of mind… I know that may sound horrible talking about another person dying, but after everything he put my family and I through it was hard to feel any remorse for the way he ultimately went. Instead, I’ve been plagued by thoughts and visions ever since, with Nemesis trying to use my thoughts to justify the belief that I’m actually responsible for killing him and should be punished accordingly instead of getting off ‘scot-free.’ That was what happened when my last title reign ended… everyone thinks Shilo distracted me, and while he did have a part to play it was actually one of those visions that caused me to hesitate just enough to get caught.”
James exhaled a bit louder than he intended to at the mention of Shilo’s name, considering he’d had a bit of his own history with the entertainer, but he maintained his composure. A few more notes were jotted down before he set the folder aside and seemed to return to whatever mental conversation he was having. While the silence of the whole thing was starting to make Aaron more nervous about this whole ordeal, James was clearly trying to make sure he handled this whole thing appropriately to not justify Aaron’s previous position about therapists. He was dealing with a man who needed help, after all, even if he didn’t think he needed it from someone like him.
“First off Aaron, in regards to Shilo… Thirteen wants me to tell you that you’re better off forgetting about him. We’ve both seen what’s been going on between you two, and he doesn’t deserve to be consuming your focus. He won’t be content with a lack of finality to your little feud, but if you keep giving him attention he’s just going to keep you waiting. Focus on getting your career back on track… if he truly takes issue with you ignoring his existence he’ll resurface, and you’ll be ready for him.”
Aaron couldn’t help but grin a bit at the advice. Sure, it felt odd hearing James relay what seemed like information from his ‘other self’ but considering all the different voices he’d given life to inside his own head, did he really have any right to judge? It at least helped ease some of the tension present in the room, and the artist knew that if there was anyone he could listen to about his Shilo problem, it would be the self-professed Angel of Death that not only toppled the man en route to his World Title reign but also went to war with him and attempted to establish a partnership with him afterward.
“In regards to your ‘Nemesis’ problem, this is where things get a bit more complicated. I don’t want to outright diagnose you with anything yet, not when I feel like there’s still more pieces I’m missing from this proverbial puzzle, but right now I have several working theories based on what I do know. One seems very likely to me based on my own experience with the subject, and that’s the possibility of multiple personalities. I don’t want to nail that one down just yet, though, because there’s more to this than just Nemesis. He’s definitely the primary antagonist, but unlike with me and Thirteen, he’s not the only voice existing in your mind aside from your own. Others would be playing a greater role in response to him in a struggle for control, either to just take it away from you or to flat out decide which one among them will assume control in the aftermath, and that doesn’t sound like the case right now.”
Aaron returned to biting his bottom lip, knowing the possibility certainly fit with a lot of what had happened. He hadn’t mentioned anything about the Twin Stars and their efforts to assume control before realizing they needed to make amends with their creator to present a unified front to stop the nightmare of negativity, but they had been the next biggest group of players in this game up to this point. While his other ideas and designs were involved as well, they pretty much sided directly with him in the war without question, which made him wonder if he truly did have multiple personalities masquerading as his imaginary world or if h was overthinking this possibility.
“That said, I can’t ignore the trauma you’ve suffered through in the past year, where Nemesis and some of your issues seem to predate and have only escalated in the aftermath. That escalation is what I’m looking at in particular, though, because it sounds like this hasn’t become anything more than an inconvenience or a distraction at best up until then, especially with what happened on Rise to Greatness weekend becoming where many of your problems seem to have anchored themselves. Given how active you’ve made it clear your imagination is, this could simply boil down to a case of post-traumatic stress disorder with your creativity inadvertently amplifying a lot of the more negative thoughts and visions you’ve been having.”
James set his notepad aside for a moment and folded his hands in his lap, trying to appear as calm as possible to make sure Aaron was at ease before moving forward. After all, he knew full well from past sessions that this could very well be the calm before the storm, and things could still escalate when it seemed like they were in the clear.
“I suppose that brings us back to your decision to come here in the first place. Given how nervous I’ve noticed you being throughout our session so far, and understandably so, I guess it’s important for me to know what you were hoping to take away from this here today. I imagine some peace of mind before your match tomorrow night is the obvious one and you felt that since you were in my neck of the woods it was worth a shot, but if we come to an agreement that this needs to be more than a one-time thing I need you to be honest with me about where you think things needs to go from here. Because, if I can be honest for a moment, I feel like there’s enough here to warrant future sessions as there is certainly more going on here than just you maybe believing you’ve simply lost control of your imagination.”
Aaron opened his mouth to respond, then immediately closed it. He knew what he wanted to say, but now that the time had come he was hesitant to actually put a voice to the thought. What he was asking for was effectively dangerous not just for him, but such a rash idea seemed like his only option. It was at that moment he could hear Nemesis practically laughing from deep in his subconscious, taunting him over not being able to pull the trigger after he’d waited and observed up to this point to see where Aaron was even looking to go with all of this. Before he could think over how to approach this in a more delicate manner, his mouth decided to just get it over with.
“…I want to be heavily sedated.”
The seemingly unshakeable visage the doctor had been portraying throughout this entire session actually broke as he looked a bit taken aback by what he’d just heard. For a moment, he even wondered if, and kind of hoped, he’d misheard what was said.
“…excuse me?”
“I said I want to be sedated. Not now, since I have to contend with trying to earn this big Trios opportunity tomorrow night, but if I can find an opening in SCW’s schedule… I know it sounds crazy, and I’m probably asking for a lot, but I guess I feel like you might be the one doctor who could actually do this for me after how this session’s gone today. I can’t deny the fact that there is a war going on in my head for control, with Nemesis leading one side and me commanding the other along with just about every other creature, design, and idea I’ve ever had standing by my side. I firmly believe that I can resolve this problem if I can just forcibly detach the idea of Nemesis from everything I’ve allowed him to embody so they can go back to just being feelings… but I have no way of remaining in my head for long enough to see a possible final battle through. I can’t sleep for however long I may need or have the freedom to daydream without being pulled out of it and away from the fight, even if I entrust the few people I’ve bared my soul to about this to practically stand guard and try to keep that from happening. I think the only way I can be certain I have the time I need to do this is-”
“Do you fully understand what you’re asking of me?”
Aaron wanted to keep going, and he felt a bit of frustration creep in at being cut off, but James clearly looked like he needed to put his foot down after what he did hear. He rose to a stand, his body tensing in a manner that looked reminiscent of how prepared Thirteen was to grapple at a moment’s notice in the ring, like he was preparing himself for if things suddenly got ugly and he needed to defend himself. The look he gave Aaron was understanding, but very stern and not open to listening any further.
“You’re suggesting a rather extreme course of action here Aaron, for an issue you haven’t exactly shared with me in full until just now. To put it all into perspective so you can truly comprehend the full scope of what you’re asking of me: you effectively want me to put you into a medically-induced coma so you have the freedom to try and lucid dream long enough to resolve this matter on your own, without any regard to the fact that I’m being asked to risk my career as a therapist on a course of action I don’t even know if I have the clearance to even consider in the first place, nor the fact that I cannot guarantee your safety as doing this results in just as likely a chance that you don’t ever wake up, regardless of whether you succeed or fail in whatever you hope to accomplish in regards to Nemesis. Something like this is not to be taken lightly and poses several serious health risks that can go beyond what I’m licensed to help with, and even in regards to doctors who I know for sure have that kind of clearance an option like this is only considered as a last resort to try and preserve the body in the face of an affliction that is almost certain death without a long and complicated surgery with little chance of success in and of itself.”
Aaron slowly rose to a stand, though his body language made it clear he wasn’t looking for a fight. He’d weighed the pros and cons several times already and knew he was asking for something that was both extreme and probably next to impossible to obtain, but even he didn’t fully grasp the full scope of this until Dr. Marsh-Asher laid all the cards on the table for him. He had blindly dedicated himself to the possibly only answer given to him by Zeitgeist that had led him here in the first place and was only now running into the brick wall that was reality about taking such an unnecessary risk to his overall well-being just to sort out the problems in his head, imaginary or otherwise. Even if the idea wasn’t endearing to the therapist, he began to realize that if anything went wrong it would affect far more than just him… Liane would lose the man she believed was the love of her life, Owen would lose arguably one of his best friends and a man who’d dedicated just as much time to helping watch the kid’s back ad he’d done for the creative soul, his family would be down two sons in the span of two years which was liable to completely destroy them in ways he couldn’t even begin to imagine…
“I think we’re done for today. I’ve given you something to seriously think about, and that’s all I’ll say on that matter for the moment. Even if SCW doesn’t bring you through Chicago again in the near future, you’re free to stay in contact with me. Right now, though… I think you have a bit more thought to give to this before you go hanging your hat on such a risky decision. I don’t mean to end this on a sour note, but… there’s more I can do to help you than just put you in a position where your life is at risk over something that, no matter how bad it may get, just isn’t worth it.”
Even after all of that and how things seemed like they were falling apart at the end, James still extended his hand to show there was no ill will to be had here. He understood the young man’s hesitation to even go through with this appointment because of how he feared his creative mind would be perceived, but there were still lines in the sand that needed to be drawn that he had to be shown. Aaron would at least accept the handshake and agree to stay in contact before he left, but he had a lot more weighing on his mind now that primarily summed itself up in one question:
Was he truly desperate enough to risk losing everything just for the sake of mental stability?
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Sometimes, you find yourself in a situation where you have to make the best out of the hand you’ve been dealt. It’s not the easiest thing in the world, but how well it all comes to fruition depends on what you’re willing to do in order to still make it work, no matter how ideal it may not be.In SCW history, never has there been an event that sums up this idea better than the Trios Tournament. In past years, the vast majority of this endeavor has seen teams drawn entirely at random that often put you with at least one person you have issues with, and the endgame is simply trying to prove that the reward is enough to put aside any and all differences just for one night. When you look back on the history of that tournament it truly makes you appreciate how challenging that must have been considering some of the winning combinations, a few of which even imploded before the end and still saw that trio come out on top somehow. It’s tests like these that always interest me because sometimes it takes true strength just to put up with someone who detests you even for the stupidest of reasons, and it’s impossible to say that you didn’t earn it if you manage to go all the way.
The formula may have changed a bit for this year, but the core concept remains the same, which brings me to Sunday night.
In the spirit of how Trios has been done in the past, there are two matches that will each pit two teams of four against one another. Every member of all the teams has been paired together with no rhyme or reason, and you’re tasked with trying to make it work because every member of the winning team secures a spot as a team captain for the actual tournament this year, getting the right to handpick at least one member in an effort to try and give a little more control to one’s own fate in that hunt for the highly coveted prize of a contract that allows its holder any one match of their choosing. To further add to this little twist, if you did find yourself paired up with someone you have a problem with, you get a chance to settle it immediately afterward as the winning team then breaks down into a four-way dance to help decide the draft order.
I would think that’s enough incentive to be able to cooperate long enough to take care of business in the first round of things.
I truly consider myself lucky with the team I ended up being a part of, for the most part. After all, I can’t say I’ve ever found myself with an opportunity to team with Owen Cruze despite our friendship that’s persisted ever since we both first set foot in this company. What started off as mutual respect after we first crossed paths in the ring evolved into a pact to watch each others’ backs when it became clear a few people didn’t exactly like us because they couldn’t look past the fact we were getting wins over them and it kept them from going where they thought they should be in the pecking order around here, and it’s since become one of the rare instances where I can truly say I made a friend that will stick with me even if I found a reason to retire after this pay-per-view and walked away completely. I trust Owen with my life and I know he feels the same about me, so I think it’s safe to say there’s enough chemistry there to be able to handle whatever Day of Infamy throws at us. And before some of you begin to think you can drive a wedge between us, look at the fact that we were the final two in the open invitational back at the end of 2018 and we set aside our friendship to go to war with one another with no ill effects after it was all set and done. We can throw down with each other on the same level as we would with the best SCW has to offer, and it’s not going to change a thing between us, which is more than can often be said about those hoping that wouldn’t be the case.
Then there’s Konrad Raab, and while I know I’ve brought this up before, I truly can’t understand why so many people have a problem with this man. True, you may think I have a reason to take issue with him considering we lost this past Breakdown, but maybe I just have a more open mind than many of you do. Konrad’s a man I would happily compete against as much as I would stand by his side because he’s always pushing forward and bettering himself no matter what obstacles end up in his path. Any setback he’s suffered has only made him stronger, and the more I think about it… the more I begin to realize what this supposed issue may actually be. Many out there have no problem taking shots at Konrad because of his age or the fact that he may not have the greatest track record, and yet these are the exact same individuals who have public meltdowns and scream at the top of their lungs that they were screwed eight ways from Sunday when things stop going their way because maybe, just maybe, they actually weren’t good enough to prevail at that moment no matter how much they convinced themselves otherwise. Couple that with the fact that this man, who is older than many of us in this business, is still pushing forward and not breaking down should things begin to falter, and I think it’s a matter of many of you feeling self-conscious that he is, in fact, better than you at something after all and you just can’t process this challenge to the world you’ve built behind those rose-tinted lenses. Maybe you can actually learn something from Konrad if you actually get your heads out of your asses for just a few moments.
Then again, maybe I’m just being hopeful, just like I wanted to be about Clyde Sutter.
Oh, how quickly we forget, huh Clyde? For as much as I know you hate the idea that you’re teaming with three guys who don’t exactly share your philosophy on this business, you need to remember that at least one of them has a win to his name over you. If that proves anything, it’s that I’m not simply going to stand here and let you bully me around thinking that you need to do this solo because that’s the quickest way our team is going to lose out on this opportunity. I know, you see it differently, but I should point out that despite your sense of entitlement, you’re the only one on our side that has nothing to his name when we’re supposed to go up against four highly decorated names in this company. That’s more reason for you to try and prove yourself, sure, but this is where your manager needs to actually rein you in and make you see the bigger picture, because if you think you’re going to pull this off single-handedly? I can promise worrying about immediately finding yourself facing three men that respect one another and have an issue with you, in general, will be the least of your concerns. I don’t think it’s asking for too much to put your ego aside for a few minutes just to at least deal with the challenge at hand, and then you can go back to doing things however you please even if I can promise it won’t end well for you once you’ve actually got a Trios team to think about.
Trust me when I say that I wish I didn’t have to try, probably in vain, to paint that picture for him, but considering what we’re up against I’d rather take the chance and hope he listens.
After all, I wasn’t joking when I said we’re up against a highly decorated team, especially considering three of them are former World Champions.
One I know has to be riding high right about now is Tommy Valentine. How does it feel Tommy, finally feeling like you’ve shut me up and proven yourself right about me all along? Except… you haven’t. Congratulations, you and Kandis managed to beat Konrad and me on Breakdown, but I wouldn’t start assuming that guarantees anything for Day of Infamy. As I told Clyde back when he and I faced off one-on-one before any of this was even announced, when you’re in that ring everybody has a fair shot. You’ve managed to prevail over me, true, but I can easily say the same in regards to some of our past encounters. You hold no certainty over me going into this match, especially since this time you don’t have a partner you’re experienced with to lend a hand. We’re on even footing again Tommy, standing beside at least one partner we each have an issue with for one reason or another and two that know what it’s like to be champion, and while your side may have the more impressive resume, that hasn’t stopped me from finding a way to prevail before. Just ask your old friend Syren how well that worked out for her months ago.
Plus… if the battle royal I won last year around this time that got me my Adrenaline Title shot was any indication, I can still find a way to rise to the occasion even without any momentum in my favor, so consider that for a moment.
Marie Jones is the only other person in this match I have any direct experience with in some capacity, considering she’s the one who ended my first TV Title reign. Believe me, I haven’t forgotten Marie, and I know we’ve both only grown and evolved as competitors since then. It hasn’t always been the clearest of paths, considering you had a moment where you let yourself be swayed by the likes of Syren and Ravyn to further their agenda because of a title shot that, while you did get it, you had to know they weren’t letting you take the belt away that easily. Honestly, though? I’d like to think you truly picked something up out of that whole ordeal considering you and Kim stood strong in the aftermath and even got yourselves a run as Tag Champions before things in that division got messy because, of course, Infamous got involved in matters again. I know you’re not the same competitor you were during those times, though… nor are you the same one I actually faced back when I could first call myself a champion. I can only hope you realize the same is true of me, because while I know you want to add more to your resume, the fact that you do have more to your name than I do only makes me that much hungrier to add to my own self-portrait. Maybe it’s long overdue that we have this little clash because a lot has changed over the past year or two and there’s still so much more to prove now.
That then leaves me with two World Champions that I’ll have my first taste of action with, starting with the recently returned Jay Gold. Hall of Famer, first Supreme Champion in SCW history, two time World Champion… to say that I should be intimidated is an understatement. Even not being in action for quite some time, you proved fairly recently that there’s no sign of rust when you defeated Autumn Valentine. It truly is an honor to be able to share the ring with such a highly touted name, even if some others in this match probably don’t share that same attitude. You’re someone who understands what this business should be about and isn’t afraid to say why you’ve come back… though I also hope you understand that for as much as I know you’d love to guarantee a shot at a Trios contract, like with Marie I can’t simply let you add to your already impressive career while I still feel like I have a ways to go and this could be just what I needed to open a few doors for myself. Mark my words Jay… legend or no, I’m going to come at you with everything I’ve got, and I know my partners will do the same, so I hope you’re ready.
Just as I hope you are as well, Selena.
I’m not going to lie… I have a great deal of respect for you Selena, even if many others don’t seem to. In addition to everything you’ve accomplished, you’ve proven more than ready to stand your ground and call people out on their B.S. time and time again no matter how much they don’t think they should be opposed. Many hate that and the idea that you’re considered the face of this company, but if you ask me? SCW should have more people like you, willing to fight for what they believe in and not simply stand back and let those with delusions of grandeur do as they see fit because all they know how to comprehend is the utopia in their heads where they, and they alone, are on top. As much as I would’ve liked for it to happen one-on-one, I’m truly glad that in some capacity I’m finally getting the chance to test myself against you to see where I stand in SCW right now, and I swear to you that you will get nothing but my absolute best come Sunday night because that’s exactly what you deserve. No worrying about Xander when we both know Regan can take care of him, just a clash of some of the best SCW has to offer to see who’s better at the end of this night.
What more do you need to ask for?
I know I may seem like I’m all over the place, but that’s what happens when you’re faced with the unknown that Trios tends to bring with it, and I can promise you all that no matter what happens, Chicago will be the site of a perfect preview of what will be in store when the night of that tournament rolls around.
And with any luck? I’ll get to add my own chapter to that story when February 16 rolls around.
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