07-07-2020, 10:22 PM
After every time I walk out of my house, and return with this sense of failure, I wonder what is really going on with me. In my head, I feel like I have a lot left to give. I feel like I can still churn and burn with the rest of the workers. Physically I'm wondering if that is just nothing but me trying to avoid the obvious. Now, I know I'm not the first to have to face this moral conundrum. I'm not the first person to have to face the dreaded "R" word. Hell, there are some who may not succeed on one day and throw shit at a fan and decide that was the last straw. But that's not me. I've avoided this word. I've hidden from it. I've ignored its existence. But lately, lately, I have been the one hearing it used synonymously with my name more and more. It doesn't just reside in my own head anymore, but instead with pundits and critics. For once, it's spanning outside of my own world, and beginning to migrate into parts I'm not comfortable with...
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Ross Twiddell: ... It's definitely a WTF MOment with Jake Starr, the former World Champion, the Hall of Famer, is walking around backstage at the penultimate pay-per view to the biggest event of the year, being a bloody bookie for Taking Hold of the Flame? Putting bets on who knocks Sienna out when? When did Jake forget that the point of the match is for him to just eliminate everyone? Why bother with the bollocks of worrying about others eliminating people, when it's your job?
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Bryan Alverez: You know, it's really unfortunate to see. Jake Starr was this guy you could count on for big matches and big moments in SCW, and he's kind of fallen, you know?
Dave Meltzer: I don't think it's necessarily that he's fallen. I think it's a war of attrition. I think he's bent over backward for so long, he's just broken beyond repair...
Bryan Alvarez: But that's the thing, why is he even bothering wasting time anymore? He's had something that was organic and magical, and now just looks like a shell.
Dave Meltzer: He does look like a shell. But hearing what he said before Taking Hold of the Flame sounded like someone who might have that new look on life.
Bryan Alvarez: And he turns around and loses to Christy Matthews, when he had a big chance, after another big promo. At some point, talking only does so much and you have to realize it's time to move on.
Dave Meltzer: True... But how many times have we seen those exact people holding on for too long, thinking they could change the course of history, and instead just continue to become a caricature of who they once were? Part of me thinks he wants to redeem himself. But another part of me thinks he's just spending a lot of time that he could be at home and enjoying life rather than tarnishing what he spent years building...
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In my world, I have never felt this way. I have never experienced this. Usually all of this has always just been noise that I was able to ignore. But for once, it's all resonating. It's all sits in my head and festers. I do my best to quell it. I do everything I can to put new thoughts, work thoughts, home thoughts, thoughts about my family, anything there, but time after time, I begin to remember the words of others continue to creep in. Some are real, some aren't. Nevertheless they all are there.
I've looked to those around me. I've talked to my wife about the recurrences. I've even talked to my daughter. They both are in the boat that says I need to begin looking at giving it up and moving on to a new life and a new career. They've not minced words. It used to be one of those things we talked cryptically about. They have hinted at the issue time after time, but in the past they wouldn't be so direct with it. Nowadays though, it's blatant. It's in my face. It's my family telling me that they have ultimately lost faith in my ability to perform at the caliber that I hold myself.
It sucks...
It hurts...
Your family is someone who you turn to for every aspect of support that you need. And I don't have that. Instead, I have more criticism. I have more doubt. I have more people telling me that my days are over, and it's time for me to embrace that "R" word, and accept a life of watching people do what I STILL LOVE, from afar.
Family...
Family...
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Roeper Hart: Babe? Can I talk to you?
...
Roeper Hart: You and I both know things aren't going like you want. And that's normal. Jake Starr WAS something special when he first walked into SCW, and it lasted for a long time. You did something with your career you didn't think you could, let's be real. You hadn't wrestled in years, and then you walk out there, start capturing titles, and you've EARNED your spot in the biggest Hall of Fame there is. You've achieved basically everything you can. Sure, if you want to nit pick I'm sure there are things you haven't done, but in the end, everyone has that. Not everyone wins everything. Not everyone even comes close to winning as much as you have already done.
So maybe it's time to step back? Maybe it's time you come home to us, and enjoy the sport from a fan's perspective and our perspective? Maybe it's time we all just enjoy something, a vacation, a wrestling event, hell, a movie, together?
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Mara Jade Hart: ... You're wasting your time, Dad, and I'm sick of it. Growing up, it didn't matter what you did, how you looked, or anything like that. As I grew up, I had people trying to bully me, and friends reminding them who my dad was, and ultimately, in the end, nothing ever happened to me. I was safe. Teachers, friends, whomever, I had a shield around me. But I'm getting to a point in my life where I don't want to just be "Jake Starr's Daughter." I want to be Mara Jade. It got to a point where everyone wanted to hang around me to meet my dad. They didn't care about me. They didn't care about hanging with me. Instead they wanted to meet the badass Jake Starr.
But now... Now it's not that way, Dad. Now, instead of facing people trying to be my friends, they laugh at me. They mock me. Why? Because they think that the only reason I am who I am, or what I accomplish is because of you, and with you not doing as well, they run their mouth always. Dad... Face it... You're not who you once were...
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AGH! It's... It's too fucking much for me... Why?! Why can't people believe in me or see what I see? Why the fuck does nobody believe in me?
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Fan: Jake Starr is giving up...
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Fan: He doesn't have it anymore...
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Fan: Failing bookie and failing wrestler...
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Fan: Thank God we have YouTube to see his highlights instead of this drivel...
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NOBODY KNOWS WHAT I'M FACING! NOBODY KNOWS THE PRESSURE! BELIEVE IN ME! FOR FUCK'S SAKE BELIEVE IN ME!
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Roeper Hart: Jake... What's wrong?
Jake Starr: I... I...
Roeper Hart: Another nightmare?
Jake Starr: Nobody believes in me... Nobody buys into what I say... Nobody thinks I'm anything more than a comedy act...
Roeper Hart: Jake... If I ever contributed, I didn't mean to. All I've wanted to do is try to help you look at the situation from every direction...
Jake Starr: I... I know...
Roeper Hart: Babe... I promise I won't say another word. You have my word, this is your decision, and your livelihood.
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Jake Starr: When I walked into Taking Hold of the Flame, I made a big decision in my life. That decision was to not try and rest on my laurels and be the guy I used to be. I decided to move on and move forward with my life. I decided that I would be a new version of myself. Not really a "version," but who I should have been for a few years now. Now, the thing is, just because I have accepted the closure of my past and allowance of me being whomever God intended me to be going forward, doesn't mean this is some kind of gimmick. This doesn't mean that Jake Starr is going to adopt a new nickname, or claim to be "new and improved," or "better than ever." Instead... I'm just Jake Starr. Yeah the nickname "The Social Misfit" will always follow me, but what it represents is more than a decade old, and doesn't apply in 2020.
I am who I am, and nicknames, gimmicks, whatever you want to call it, isn't a resurrection of Jake Starr as much as it is something new inside of me that I haven't felt in a long time.
And that truly showed up before my match with Christy Matthews.
Now let's get the cat out of the bag, yes I lost. She beat me, and she earned that victory. But when I was talking, and letting her know my feeling on the match, something changed. It wasn't something wild or crazy. Instead, it was a reminder to me. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. It was the feeling of one ember beginning to burn inside for this business, and the desire to do what I can to expand on a legacy that, honestly, I'm damn proud of. For once in my life, I'm proud of what I've done, what I've accomplished, and don't feel the "need" to find more to do. The only thing left to do is be me, enjoy being me, and enjoy this business once again.
You see, cutting the promo on Christy wasn't malicious. It didn't feel angered or hostile. It felt impassioned. It felt like me talking from the heart and talking from a place people haven't heard. I wasn't espousing empty words. I wasn't just trying to see how pissed off I could make someone. Instead, I let the world know that a lot of the rage, the anger, everything, had left my body and this time Jake Starr was simply the man ready to go fight. See, this ember, this fleeting light, it reignited itself and it showed me that there is still a passion for this business inside of me. I may not be the best of the best. I may not be the top dog. Instead, I'm a competitor like everyone else, and someone wanting to make another mark on the legacy of SCW.
Now when I say legacy... I'm not talking about trying to gun for the top, or do something so outlandish that people lose their mind. Instead, I want to take a record, a career, a LEGACY that I built, and make it stable again. All of this time over the past few years I've done nothing but ruin something that was so set in stone it took sticks of TNT to bring down. But I did it. I went from Jake Starr, the Hall of Famer, to Jake Starr the joke in the organization. Nobody took me seriously, and rightfully so. Hell, I didn't take myself seriously. I didn't believe in myself day to day, and instead of acknowledging and allowing those who were trying to tell me I sucked to be let through my thick skull, I did what I had always done. I tried to talk louder. I refused to humble myself in any way. I refused to believe that anyone out there would have a MODICUM of comprehension about me and my mentality. I refused to believe that anyone could tell me what I was or wasn't doing right.
I knew me, and nobody could tell me otherwise.
But now what about this legacy of mine that I've started to crumble for myself? What about all of the shortcomings I've had? They don't matter. What matters is I'm walking into another opportunity to take the next step in my career. I mean, both Taking Hold of the Flame and my loss to Christy, those were each opportunities. Everything is an opportunity. This opportunity is one I didn't ever think would come my way. This is one of those moments where SCW is having an official first in its entire history because Jake Starr and the infamous Jay Gold will be teaming together. Two rough and tumble, road-weathered, grizzled, veterans will be walking out there together, looking to get some momentum for ourselves going into Rise to Greatness. It'll also let two staples of SCW lore go out there and show that they both have a little gas in the tank, and are ready to show a little piss and vinegar to a couple of newbies to SCW hallowed halls.
Abrianna, Gavin, let me introduce you to myself. I am Jake Starr, THE SUpreme Champion of SCW. I'm walking out there as a Hall of Famer, and someone looking to make a change of direction in his SCW career and legacy. I've done a lot, but I feel I have a lot left in tank. I believe that putting the likes of Jay Gold, an SCW ICON, alongside Jake Starr, the man who changed SCW FOREVER, you're putting experience together that neither of you are ready for. I'm not saying you aren't capable. I'm not saying you can't surprise the world. You two could, very well, catch Jay or I off guard, but you could also slip up and make your own mistakes here or there. I can promise you that WHEN you do, Jay and I both will take advantage. We will be the first ones to exploit anything that happens.
This is where old school will meet new school, and I promise, no matter where you fall on that spectrum, the outcome will be the same. Everything ALWAYS comes down to experience, and Jake Starr and Jay Gold will bring it.
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Shawn Wright: Christ alive, man... Do I need to teach you again how NOT to pour my liquor?
Jake Starr: Looks good to me...
Shawn Wright: Yeah, me too, and I can tell by the color that's that bottle of EC you got me...
Jake Starr: Hehe... Yeah...
Shawn Wright: Why?!
Jake Starr: Heh... Mine is empty!
Shawn Wright: You're a fucker...
Jake Starr: Yeah, but you know I'll replace it...
Shawn Wright: No... Eric will...
Jake Starr: And? I'm still the go between... Sooooo...
Shawn Wright: Dickhead...
Shawn Wright: So what's on your mind, dude?
Jake Starr: Jesus... Not even going to let me enjoy this first drink, first?
Shawn Wright: You really want me to believe you didn't have some before you came outside?
Jake Starr: Ok, shut up, fair point...
Shawn Wright: See...
Shawn Wright: ... Now spill it...
Shawn Wright: ... Ok unless you're replenishing MY STOCK tonight, slow down on the good stuff...
Jake Starr: ... I already sent Roxie with some cash and made a call for an order for you...
Shawn Wright: ... Ugh...
Jake Starr: Now... Should I be serious?
Shawn Wright: For the love of God...
Jake Starr: Alright... Seriousness... I'm at a point where I don't know what I'm doing, man...
Shawn Wright: What do you mean?
Jake Starr: In the business. I don't know anymore. The more and more I change, the more and more I grow the fuck up, the more and more people seem to doubt me? They seem to criticize me online and to my face? Like, usually, none of this gets to me. None of this bothers me. Shit, usually I just throw it back in their face, but I don't feel right doing that. I feel like shitting on fans, critics, my family, I have no argument. I have no justification to say "no you're wrong." Instead I hear their words and they're valid. They are speaking the truth. So I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore.
Shawn Wright: Retirement... ?
Shawn Wright: Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, I was there. There was a difference though... I was ready. You're not...
Jake Starr: But everyone...
Shawn Wright: Shut up... I was ready for a reason to leave. You had a baby, and Roxie got the fever. It was my NEED to get out. It was my NEED to be done with the business. I was ready. People also were, but I needed a reason to do so for my own mental clarity at the time. I needed my chance to say, "oh this is my reason." I NEEDED it. I can't emphasize it enough. But you're talking about criticism. You're talking about someone else just saying "you can't cut it."
Jake... I know you... When I heard you talk at Taking Hold of the Flame, I KNEW this would be something you would face. I KNEW this would be a moment that would cross you...
Jake Starr: Then why not tell me?
Shawn Wright: It isn't my place to tell you it's coming because then it doesn't make YOU think. And that is what you are doing, and you are uncomfortable with it. The fact is, what you said that night was you were closing a chapter. You were ENDING a chapter of your life you never wanted to stop writing because you were SCARED. You didn't know what was on that next page. You didn't know what lay ahead so the "Social Misfit," the "Starr Martyr," all of that kept repeating itself. You went safe, for YOU. This is you facing something that isn't safe, Jake. You're facing voices that, you just fucking said, you used to challenge. You used to be the guy who, when someone would criticize you, you'd have a comeback to make them feel even more stupid.
You closed THAT chapter...
This chapter of Jake Starr isn't someone who is looking for an easy comeback, Jake. This chapter of you isn't the type looking for a battle of words to see who can make who feel dumber. Instead you're hearing a lot of criticism that the "Starr Martyr" tuned out. You're hearing the words that MANY in this business hear. Nobody can please every person. Someone is going to hate something, and right now, those numbers are growing in your eyes. But YOu DON'T KNOW THAT! You don't know some of these people have been shitting on you every day, and you just ignored it in the past. They could have been there all along. But SCW changed you. It changed your mentality. YOU... YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, said it. It changed you to realize that you're not in that place where you're fighting a war of messaging. Instead, you're fighting a war against competition...
Shawn Wright: ... You know I'm right. You've NEVER listened to your critics. Instead you've always listened to your inner monologue. You've always listened to what made Jake Starr, the "Social Misfit," feel best, and give him the ammo he needed to fire back.
But you closed that chapter, and you meant it. You didn't realize HOW MUCH you meant it at the time, but YOU MEANT IT. Now you're unfamiliar ground and you're fighting battles you've never fought. So you're scared. You don't know what else there is around a corner, but you're the type who wouldn't have put himself in the position unless you were ready. Now it's fucking time you prove it. I'm not going to sugar coat this, Jake. You've put yourself in a bubble your whole career. You could do no wrong. Nobody was better than you. You were "The Immortal." Why? Because you believed it, and knew how to make others believe it. Then everyone came to reality and knew you were full of shit. You weren't invincible. And now, you're entering that reality. You're walking into a world you're scared of, and have never faced, and you don't know what to do...
Jake Starr: I know...
Shawn Wright: Well why don't you do what I did?
Jake Starr: Retire?
Shawn Wright: No... Accept that there's a new chapter in your life. Accept that things aren't the same shit they were back in the day. Accept that you're not the Superman you once were, but still DO have something to offer.
You're not a martyr anymore. Nobody needs to be that anymore. You, Jude, and I were the martyrs who took those steps. You're the last one standing, and it isn't because you're fighting the same battle. You're the only one who still has that fire. Jude and I, we moved on to family only. You're a stronger man than us because you can do both. We didn't. Now that you are at our point, that speech you gave, shows you have the fire to COMPETE, but you don't need to fight the fight for martyrdom. We all achieved that goal when we became the guys nobody wanted anymore. You became the FACE of that fight when SCW said "fuck the rest, we are taking a chance."
Quit being a guy who thinks he STILL has to be something he's being compared to. What else is there to compare you to? Nothing. Create that argument. Create that comparison. Make them see the fucking martyr going head to head with the man who DID end the martyr's fight. Show them Jake Starr wants to step up and fight, but not just be a shell, an impression, or someone rereading a chapter in his own life. Go out there and show Jake Starr accepts his past, but is moving on, not in words, but in actions. You've talked about it before. You've said you weren't going to be a "Social Misfit" before. This is the first time any of us believe you, and THIS is why. You're not making excuses. You're hearing the criticism and wanting to beat it. So stop bitching. Go do something. Take it one day at a time. Make that conversation something these critics have to have with themselves about who you are in 2020, and not who you're TRYING TO BE back from 2010.
Jake Starr: ... I just want to succeed...
Shawn Wright: Jake... The way you closed the chapter on OUR past, was way overdue. Your career couldn't end with that moment. Now it's time for you to decide if that ending was supposed to happen years ago, or you're just a stubborn ass, and going to make the most out of what is left to come. You've succeeded in everyone's eyes but your own. So write this chapter. Let whatever seeds are already in your soil stay buried, but plant your own and remember this... "A seed neither fears light nor darkness, but uses both to grow."
Now... Grow, brother...
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As Jake sleeps, quotes begin to flush through Jake's head.
Ross Twiddell: ... It's definitely a WTF MOment with Jake Starr, the former World Champion, the Hall of Famer, is walking around backstage at the penultimate pay-per view to the biggest event of the year, being a bloody bookie for Taking Hold of the Flame? Putting bets on who knocks Sienna out when? When did Jake forget that the point of the match is for him to just eliminate everyone? Why bother with the bollocks of worrying about others eliminating people, when it's your job?
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Bryan Alverez: You know, it's really unfortunate to see. Jake Starr was this guy you could count on for big matches and big moments in SCW, and he's kind of fallen, you know?
Dave Meltzer: I don't think it's necessarily that he's fallen. I think it's a war of attrition. I think he's bent over backward for so long, he's just broken beyond repair...
Bryan Alvarez: But that's the thing, why is he even bothering wasting time anymore? He's had something that was organic and magical, and now just looks like a shell.
Dave Meltzer: He does look like a shell. But hearing what he said before Taking Hold of the Flame sounded like someone who might have that new look on life.
Bryan Alvarez: And he turns around and loses to Christy Matthews, when he had a big chance, after another big promo. At some point, talking only does so much and you have to realize it's time to move on.
Dave Meltzer: True... But how many times have we seen those exact people holding on for too long, thinking they could change the course of history, and instead just continue to become a caricature of who they once were? Part of me thinks he wants to redeem himself. But another part of me thinks he's just spending a lot of time that he could be at home and enjoying life rather than tarnishing what he spent years building...
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In my world, I have never felt this way. I have never experienced this. Usually all of this has always just been noise that I was able to ignore. But for once, it's all resonating. It's all sits in my head and festers. I do my best to quell it. I do everything I can to put new thoughts, work thoughts, home thoughts, thoughts about my family, anything there, but time after time, I begin to remember the words of others continue to creep in. Some are real, some aren't. Nevertheless they all are there.
I've looked to those around me. I've talked to my wife about the recurrences. I've even talked to my daughter. They both are in the boat that says I need to begin looking at giving it up and moving on to a new life and a new career. They've not minced words. It used to be one of those things we talked cryptically about. They have hinted at the issue time after time, but in the past they wouldn't be so direct with it. Nowadays though, it's blatant. It's in my face. It's my family telling me that they have ultimately lost faith in my ability to perform at the caliber that I hold myself.
It sucks...
It hurts...
Your family is someone who you turn to for every aspect of support that you need. And I don't have that. Instead, I have more criticism. I have more doubt. I have more people telling me that my days are over, and it's time for me to embrace that "R" word, and accept a life of watching people do what I STILL LOVE, from afar.
Family...
Family...
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Back in dreamland...
Roeper Hart: Babe? Can I talk to you?
...
Roeper Hart: You and I both know things aren't going like you want. And that's normal. Jake Starr WAS something special when he first walked into SCW, and it lasted for a long time. You did something with your career you didn't think you could, let's be real. You hadn't wrestled in years, and then you walk out there, start capturing titles, and you've EARNED your spot in the biggest Hall of Fame there is. You've achieved basically everything you can. Sure, if you want to nit pick I'm sure there are things you haven't done, but in the end, everyone has that. Not everyone wins everything. Not everyone even comes close to winning as much as you have already done.
So maybe it's time to step back? Maybe it's time you come home to us, and enjoy the sport from a fan's perspective and our perspective? Maybe it's time we all just enjoy something, a vacation, a wrestling event, hell, a movie, together?
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Mara Jade Hart: ... You're wasting your time, Dad, and I'm sick of it. Growing up, it didn't matter what you did, how you looked, or anything like that. As I grew up, I had people trying to bully me, and friends reminding them who my dad was, and ultimately, in the end, nothing ever happened to me. I was safe. Teachers, friends, whomever, I had a shield around me. But I'm getting to a point in my life where I don't want to just be "Jake Starr's Daughter." I want to be Mara Jade. It got to a point where everyone wanted to hang around me to meet my dad. They didn't care about me. They didn't care about hanging with me. Instead they wanted to meet the badass Jake Starr.
But now... Now it's not that way, Dad. Now, instead of facing people trying to be my friends, they laugh at me. They mock me. Why? Because they think that the only reason I am who I am, or what I accomplish is because of you, and with you not doing as well, they run their mouth always. Dad... Face it... You're not who you once were...
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AGH! It's... It's too fucking much for me... Why?! Why can't people believe in me or see what I see? Why the fuck does nobody believe in me?
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Fan: Jake Starr is giving up...
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Fan: He doesn't have it anymore...
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Fan: Failing bookie and failing wrestler...
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Fan: Thank God we have YouTube to see his highlights instead of this drivel...
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NOBODY KNOWS WHAT I'M FACING! NOBODY KNOWS THE PRESSURE! BELIEVE IN ME! FOR FUCK'S SAKE BELIEVE IN ME!
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Out of nowhere Jake sits up out of bed, sweating, and breathing hard. He begins to look around and try and get his bearings of where he is. As he realizes he's in his own bedroom, and feeling the sudden jerk, Roeper wakes up and sits up beside him.
Roeper Hart: Jake... What's wrong?
Jake Starr: I... I...
Roeper Hart: Another nightmare?
Jake is panting.
Jake Starr: Nobody believes in me... Nobody buys into what I say... Nobody thinks I'm anything more than a comedy act...
Roeper sighs.
Roeper Hart: Jake... If I ever contributed, I didn't mean to. All I've wanted to do is try to help you look at the situation from every direction...
Jake Starr: I... I know...
Roeper Hart: Babe... I promise I won't say another word. You have my word, this is your decision, and your livelihood.
She embraces Jake, leaning her head on his shoulder. Jake continues to pant, and looks down. He eventually takes a deep breath and reaches over for his phone, and sends a text that Roeper catches an eye on, simply saying, "Can we talk?" Knowing Jake is in a emotional roller coaster, she trusts that it isn't something to worry about, or Jake wouldn't have done it in front of her. She just lays on his shoulder, trying to calm him down before trying to encourage him back to sleep.
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Jake Starr: When I walked into Taking Hold of the Flame, I made a big decision in my life. That decision was to not try and rest on my laurels and be the guy I used to be. I decided to move on and move forward with my life. I decided that I would be a new version of myself. Not really a "version," but who I should have been for a few years now. Now, the thing is, just because I have accepted the closure of my past and allowance of me being whomever God intended me to be going forward, doesn't mean this is some kind of gimmick. This doesn't mean that Jake Starr is going to adopt a new nickname, or claim to be "new and improved," or "better than ever." Instead... I'm just Jake Starr. Yeah the nickname "The Social Misfit" will always follow me, but what it represents is more than a decade old, and doesn't apply in 2020.
I am who I am, and nicknames, gimmicks, whatever you want to call it, isn't a resurrection of Jake Starr as much as it is something new inside of me that I haven't felt in a long time.
And that truly showed up before my match with Christy Matthews.
Now let's get the cat out of the bag, yes I lost. She beat me, and she earned that victory. But when I was talking, and letting her know my feeling on the match, something changed. It wasn't something wild or crazy. Instead, it was a reminder to me. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. It was the feeling of one ember beginning to burn inside for this business, and the desire to do what I can to expand on a legacy that, honestly, I'm damn proud of. For once in my life, I'm proud of what I've done, what I've accomplished, and don't feel the "need" to find more to do. The only thing left to do is be me, enjoy being me, and enjoy this business once again.
You see, cutting the promo on Christy wasn't malicious. It didn't feel angered or hostile. It felt impassioned. It felt like me talking from the heart and talking from a place people haven't heard. I wasn't espousing empty words. I wasn't just trying to see how pissed off I could make someone. Instead, I let the world know that a lot of the rage, the anger, everything, had left my body and this time Jake Starr was simply the man ready to go fight. See, this ember, this fleeting light, it reignited itself and it showed me that there is still a passion for this business inside of me. I may not be the best of the best. I may not be the top dog. Instead, I'm a competitor like everyone else, and someone wanting to make another mark on the legacy of SCW.
Now when I say legacy... I'm not talking about trying to gun for the top, or do something so outlandish that people lose their mind. Instead, I want to take a record, a career, a LEGACY that I built, and make it stable again. All of this time over the past few years I've done nothing but ruin something that was so set in stone it took sticks of TNT to bring down. But I did it. I went from Jake Starr, the Hall of Famer, to Jake Starr the joke in the organization. Nobody took me seriously, and rightfully so. Hell, I didn't take myself seriously. I didn't believe in myself day to day, and instead of acknowledging and allowing those who were trying to tell me I sucked to be let through my thick skull, I did what I had always done. I tried to talk louder. I refused to humble myself in any way. I refused to believe that anyone out there would have a MODICUM of comprehension about me and my mentality. I refused to believe that anyone could tell me what I was or wasn't doing right.
I knew me, and nobody could tell me otherwise.
But now what about this legacy of mine that I've started to crumble for myself? What about all of the shortcomings I've had? They don't matter. What matters is I'm walking into another opportunity to take the next step in my career. I mean, both Taking Hold of the Flame and my loss to Christy, those were each opportunities. Everything is an opportunity. This opportunity is one I didn't ever think would come my way. This is one of those moments where SCW is having an official first in its entire history because Jake Starr and the infamous Jay Gold will be teaming together. Two rough and tumble, road-weathered, grizzled, veterans will be walking out there together, looking to get some momentum for ourselves going into Rise to Greatness. It'll also let two staples of SCW lore go out there and show that they both have a little gas in the tank, and are ready to show a little piss and vinegar to a couple of newbies to SCW hallowed halls.
Abrianna, Gavin, let me introduce you to myself. I am Jake Starr, THE SUpreme Champion of SCW. I'm walking out there as a Hall of Famer, and someone looking to make a change of direction in his SCW career and legacy. I've done a lot, but I feel I have a lot left in tank. I believe that putting the likes of Jay Gold, an SCW ICON, alongside Jake Starr, the man who changed SCW FOREVER, you're putting experience together that neither of you are ready for. I'm not saying you aren't capable. I'm not saying you can't surprise the world. You two could, very well, catch Jay or I off guard, but you could also slip up and make your own mistakes here or there. I can promise you that WHEN you do, Jay and I both will take advantage. We will be the first ones to exploit anything that happens.
This is where old school will meet new school, and I promise, no matter where you fall on that spectrum, the outcome will be the same. Everything ALWAYS comes down to experience, and Jake Starr and Jay Gold will bring it.
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After the night before, sending the text if they could talk, Jake woke up to an affirmative from his friend Shawn Wright. Instead of driving the few miles between his house and his, arguably, longest confidant, Jake elected to walk to try and clear his head from everything the night before. After openly explaining everything to his wife, Roeper completely believed that this was factual from Jake, and also knew that if Jake didn't do just that, Roxie, Shawn's wife, would report back to her.
Jake meanders through the sidewalks in the neighborhoods between he and Shawn's house. The heat has him dressed way down from how he is even when going to the store, simply because he was ready to get out, get over to Shawn's house, and wasn't worried about his appearance in the heat. After what seems like hours of walking in the heat, after a normal amount of time Jake comes up on the block where his friend lives. He walks down the block a few houses before walking up and ringing the doorbell of one of those people he has neglected confiding in for some time. After a couple of moments, Shawn's wife, Roxie answers the door, and sweat or no sweat, embraces the Godfather of their child. She, on a personal level, was excited Jake was coming to see Shawn. Shawn has been that calming, non-dramatic, presence in Jake's life, and many believe Jake needs to begin talking to him more and more.
After a while, Jake agreed...
As Jake walks in, he greets Roxie and apologizes for the sweat. He's quickly ambushed by their son who is always excited to see Jake show up. Jake gives him a big hug before immediately being asked to play wrestle. Jake smirks and promises before he leaves he's reclaiming the Wright Family Title for his mantle at home. Their son quickly uses his historical, and unknowing situational adapted, catchphrase, "well then come and take it!" Jake smirks, and Roxie immediately directs Jake out back, where Shawn is sitting under their awning, watching their back porch TV, barbecuing, and having a glass of bourbon. Since Jake knows the house, as his own, he simply makes his own way toward the back door, and pauses before grabbing a drink of his own. Roxie chuckles as she knows where Shawn keeps his "secret stash," as does Jake, who smirks and raise a glass in her direction before walking out back.
Shawn looks up and sees the, very full, glass in Jake's hand and knows Jake is enjoying a hefty portion of his "top shelf" bourbon.
Jake meanders through the sidewalks in the neighborhoods between he and Shawn's house. The heat has him dressed way down from how he is even when going to the store, simply because he was ready to get out, get over to Shawn's house, and wasn't worried about his appearance in the heat. After what seems like hours of walking in the heat, after a normal amount of time Jake comes up on the block where his friend lives. He walks down the block a few houses before walking up and ringing the doorbell of one of those people he has neglected confiding in for some time. After a couple of moments, Shawn's wife, Roxie answers the door, and sweat or no sweat, embraces the Godfather of their child. She, on a personal level, was excited Jake was coming to see Shawn. Shawn has been that calming, non-dramatic, presence in Jake's life, and many believe Jake needs to begin talking to him more and more.
After a while, Jake agreed...
As Jake walks in, he greets Roxie and apologizes for the sweat. He's quickly ambushed by their son who is always excited to see Jake show up. Jake gives him a big hug before immediately being asked to play wrestle. Jake smirks and promises before he leaves he's reclaiming the Wright Family Title for his mantle at home. Their son quickly uses his historical, and unknowing situational adapted, catchphrase, "well then come and take it!" Jake smirks, and Roxie immediately directs Jake out back, where Shawn is sitting under their awning, watching their back porch TV, barbecuing, and having a glass of bourbon. Since Jake knows the house, as his own, he simply makes his own way toward the back door, and pauses before grabbing a drink of his own. Roxie chuckles as she knows where Shawn keeps his "secret stash," as does Jake, who smirks and raise a glass in her direction before walking out back.
Shawn looks up and sees the, very full, glass in Jake's hand and knows Jake is enjoying a hefty portion of his "top shelf" bourbon.
Shawn Wright: Christ alive, man... Do I need to teach you again how NOT to pour my liquor?
Jake looks down and shrugs.
Jake Starr: Looks good to me...
Shawn Wright: Yeah, me too, and I can tell by the color that's that bottle of EC you got me...
Jake smirks.
Jake Starr: Hehe... Yeah...
Shawn Wright: Why?!
Jake Starr: Heh... Mine is empty!
Shawn Wright: You're a fucker...
Jake Starr: Yeah, but you know I'll replace it...
Shawn Wright: No... Eric will...
Jake Starr: And? I'm still the go between... Sooooo...
Shawn Wright: Dickhead...
Jake smirks and walks over under the awning and sits down next to Shawn before taking a sip, and Shawn quickly engaging his dearest friend.
Shawn Wright: So what's on your mind, dude?
Jake Starr: Jesus... Not even going to let me enjoy this first drink, first?
Shawn Wright: You really want me to believe you didn't have some before you came outside?
Jake Starr: Ok, shut up, fair point...
Shawn Wright: See...
Shawn chuckles.
Shawn Wright: ... Now spill it...
Jake takes a big gulp of his drink.
Shawn Wright: ... Ok unless you're replenishing MY STOCK tonight, slow down on the good stuff...
Jake smirks.
Jake Starr: ... I already sent Roxie with some cash and made a call for an order for you...
Shawn rolls his eyes.
Shawn Wright: ... Ugh...
Jake Starr: Now... Should I be serious?
Shawn rolls his eyes.
Shawn Wright: For the love of God...
Jake Starr: Alright... Seriousness... I'm at a point where I don't know what I'm doing, man...
Shawn Wright: What do you mean?
Jake Starr: In the business. I don't know anymore. The more and more I change, the more and more I grow the fuck up, the more and more people seem to doubt me? They seem to criticize me online and to my face? Like, usually, none of this gets to me. None of this bothers me. Shit, usually I just throw it back in their face, but I don't feel right doing that. I feel like shitting on fans, critics, my family, I have no argument. I have no justification to say "no you're wrong." Instead I hear their words and they're valid. They are speaking the truth. So I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore.
Shawn takes a big swig, and sets his glass down.
Shawn Wright: Retirement... ?
Jake takes one sniffle and looks the other way. He slowly nods.
Shawn Wright: Yeah, I've been there. Yeah, I was there. There was a difference though... I was ready. You're not...
Jake Starr: But everyone...
Shawn cuts him off.
Shawn Wright: Shut up... I was ready for a reason to leave. You had a baby, and Roxie got the fever. It was my NEED to get out. It was my NEED to be done with the business. I was ready. People also were, but I needed a reason to do so for my own mental clarity at the time. I needed my chance to say, "oh this is my reason." I NEEDED it. I can't emphasize it enough. But you're talking about criticism. You're talking about someone else just saying "you can't cut it."
Jake... I know you... When I heard you talk at Taking Hold of the Flame, I KNEW this would be something you would face. I KNEW this would be a moment that would cross you...
Jake Starr: Then why not tell me?
Shawn Wright: It isn't my place to tell you it's coming because then it doesn't make YOU think. And that is what you are doing, and you are uncomfortable with it. The fact is, what you said that night was you were closing a chapter. You were ENDING a chapter of your life you never wanted to stop writing because you were SCARED. You didn't know what was on that next page. You didn't know what lay ahead so the "Social Misfit," the "Starr Martyr," all of that kept repeating itself. You went safe, for YOU. This is you facing something that isn't safe, Jake. You're facing voices that, you just fucking said, you used to challenge. You used to be the guy who, when someone would criticize you, you'd have a comeback to make them feel even more stupid.
You closed THAT chapter...
This chapter of Jake Starr isn't someone who is looking for an easy comeback, Jake. This chapter of you isn't the type looking for a battle of words to see who can make who feel dumber. Instead you're hearing a lot of criticism that the "Starr Martyr" tuned out. You're hearing the words that MANY in this business hear. Nobody can please every person. Someone is going to hate something, and right now, those numbers are growing in your eyes. But YOu DON'T KNOW THAT! You don't know some of these people have been shitting on you every day, and you just ignored it in the past. They could have been there all along. But SCW changed you. It changed your mentality. YOU... YOU, MOTHERFUCKER, said it. It changed you to realize that you're not in that place where you're fighting a war of messaging. Instead, you're fighting a war against competition...
Jake takes a drink, and sets his cup on the outdoor table.
Shawn Wright: ... You know I'm right. You've NEVER listened to your critics. Instead you've always listened to your inner monologue. You've always listened to what made Jake Starr, the "Social Misfit," feel best, and give him the ammo he needed to fire back.
But you closed that chapter, and you meant it. You didn't realize HOW MUCH you meant it at the time, but YOU MEANT IT. Now you're unfamiliar ground and you're fighting battles you've never fought. So you're scared. You don't know what else there is around a corner, but you're the type who wouldn't have put himself in the position unless you were ready. Now it's fucking time you prove it. I'm not going to sugar coat this, Jake. You've put yourself in a bubble your whole career. You could do no wrong. Nobody was better than you. You were "The Immortal." Why? Because you believed it, and knew how to make others believe it. Then everyone came to reality and knew you were full of shit. You weren't invincible. And now, you're entering that reality. You're walking into a world you're scared of, and have never faced, and you don't know what to do...
Jake looks down, again.
Jake Starr: I know...
Shawn Wright: Well why don't you do what I did?
Jake Starr: Retire?
Shawn Wright: No... Accept that there's a new chapter in your life. Accept that things aren't the same shit they were back in the day. Accept that you're not the Superman you once were, but still DO have something to offer.
You're not a martyr anymore. Nobody needs to be that anymore. You, Jude, and I were the martyrs who took those steps. You're the last one standing, and it isn't because you're fighting the same battle. You're the only one who still has that fire. Jude and I, we moved on to family only. You're a stronger man than us because you can do both. We didn't. Now that you are at our point, that speech you gave, shows you have the fire to COMPETE, but you don't need to fight the fight for martyrdom. We all achieved that goal when we became the guys nobody wanted anymore. You became the FACE of that fight when SCW said "fuck the rest, we are taking a chance."
Quit being a guy who thinks he STILL has to be something he's being compared to. What else is there to compare you to? Nothing. Create that argument. Create that comparison. Make them see the fucking martyr going head to head with the man who DID end the martyr's fight. Show them Jake Starr wants to step up and fight, but not just be a shell, an impression, or someone rereading a chapter in his own life. Go out there and show Jake Starr accepts his past, but is moving on, not in words, but in actions. You've talked about it before. You've said you weren't going to be a "Social Misfit" before. This is the first time any of us believe you, and THIS is why. You're not making excuses. You're hearing the criticism and wanting to beat it. So stop bitching. Go do something. Take it one day at a time. Make that conversation something these critics have to have with themselves about who you are in 2020, and not who you're TRYING TO BE back from 2010.
Jake Starr: ... I just want to succeed...
Shawn Wright: Jake... The way you closed the chapter on OUR past, was way overdue. Your career couldn't end with that moment. Now it's time for you to decide if that ending was supposed to happen years ago, or you're just a stubborn ass, and going to make the most out of what is left to come. You've succeeded in everyone's eyes but your own. So write this chapter. Let whatever seeds are already in your soil stay buried, but plant your own and remember this... "A seed neither fears light nor darkness, but uses both to grow."
Now... Grow, brother...
With those words, Shawn picks his drink up again, and takes a swig, looking back up at the outside television. He glances over at Jake, who is staring, uncomfortably, in many directions, and smiles, knowing that maybe, just maybe, he got through to his friend. Regardless he is making his friend think, and he can go back to cooking dinner for the rest of Jake's family, who, once he knew Jake was coming over, had Roxie organize the dinner party going forward.
Jake reaches over and chugs the rest of his drink, and goes to stand before looking at Shawn and shrugging. Shawn figured Jake would go for more, and expects a night that, before all is said and done, the two simply stand outside and enjoy a drunken night of BS'ing together. As Jake gets ready to walk inside he looks back over at Shawn. Shawn glances over, and Jake nods at him multiple times. Shawn gives one, singular, nod, and goes back to watching TV, trying to not make Jake feel like this was any kind of "I told you so," or "gotcha" moment, but instead one where friend and friend open up, and not hide the truth, but instead be candid.
Jake reaches over and chugs the rest of his drink, and goes to stand before looking at Shawn and shrugging. Shawn figured Jake would go for more, and expects a night that, before all is said and done, the two simply stand outside and enjoy a drunken night of BS'ing together. As Jake gets ready to walk inside he looks back over at Shawn. Shawn glances over, and Jake nods at him multiple times. Shawn gives one, singular, nod, and goes back to watching TV, trying to not make Jake feel like this was any kind of "I told you so," or "gotcha" moment, but instead one where friend and friend open up, and not hide the truth, but instead be candid.