07-25-2020, 03:20 PM
OOC: Two of two and even though its not three, that's okay too. Victor Mason used with permission, thanks Randy. Best of luck everyone!
Off Camera
Office of Dr. Lucio
Saturday July 18, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
11 am
Sometimes no matter how bad you might want to, there is just no way around it and you cannot hide anymore.
Truth be told, I really never should have hidden from anyone anyway, and I certainly didn’t want to continue hiding either, but there was just one reason after another to keep from hiding. I was becoming so good at it too, I could hide the fact that I have major depressive disorder from the very best of them, to my closest friends, to my mentor, to my family members, nobody has known that I have had these things going inside of me for so long. I didn’t even know until I started therapy with Dr. Lucio, whose office I am sitting in right now, gave me the diagnosis, and then said as part of my therapy that I needed to tell my husband Victor about my condition.
That should be the easiest thing in the world for me because Victor is the most compassionate person that I know. It wasn’t easy for me however because I knew what one of Victor’s responses would be that the two of us at this point are not going to pursue adopting a child until my mental health improves. I know that is definitely the correct thing to do too, as looking at this from the perspective of an adoption agency whose primary objective is to place children in safe, loving, and nurturing environments placing a child in the care of someone currently battling major depressive disorder is certainly not ideal and shouldn’t happen.
The trouble is however, I have not been looking at this from that responsible and mature perspective. Instead I have been looking at this solely from the perspective of a woman who desires to be a mother to a child, a child that needs a mother and father, and if there is any doubt, I know that Victor would make an excellent father also. Does Victor want this adoption as badly as I do though?
This is going to sound terrible because Victor and I, we are married, which means we are supposed to work as a team in everything, but there is no way that Victor wants to adopt a child as badly as I do. I honestly do not think that there is anyone on this planet that wants to adopt a child as much as this woman right here. There is a very good reason why I want to adopt from the bottom of heart and soul and it deals with more than the fact that babies are cute and need lots of love and attention which everyone knows that I have to give in spades. Ever since I found out that I was adopted last year though and I believed that it was wrong for my Daddy and Momma and to have waited for so long to tell me about that, I also just knew that Victor and I could adopt a child and do things right.
What is right when you are raising a child that you have adopted or any child for that matter?
There really is no good way to answer that honestly, though I am certain it doesn’t involve keeping life changing information from them until they are 22 years old. Yeah, I know that Victor and I would never do that! This probably means that I have a lot of unresolved issues with my parents who no doubt are wonderful people who I love infinitely, but I still don’t understand why they withheld this information from me. I am sure that I need to work through all of those issues at some point too.
Right now though as I look across at the face of Dr. Lucio in her office, I am well aware that the is only one thing that she needs to hear from me, and as per usual Dr. Lucio never disappoints and gets right to the heart of the matter.
“Kelsai, how are things going at home now since you have told Victor about the fact that you are living with major depressive disorder, because I know that you did tell him about this finally, correct?”
“Yes, I did tell Victor, Dr. Lucio.”
Finally, a hint, just a hint mind you, but a hint of smile just the same as I give Dr. Lucio the confirmation that she has been waiting for.
“I know that I gave you an ultimatum last session concerning whether or not you were going to tell Victor, and while I would have rather it not came to that I am glad in the end that you made the proper decision.”
“Victor is my husband and so this was the right thing to do even if I was stubborn about this for way too long. Thank you for helping me to see that Dr. Lucio. I do feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, no longer carrying around this secret.”
“Now, has Victor provided the social support that we both expected that he would be for you?”
“Oh rest assured Dr. Lucio, Victor reacted and responded exactly how would both knew he would, both good and terrible.”
“Excuse me? How did Victor’s reaction to this news translate into something terrible?”
“Well you see Dr. Lucio….
Home of Victor and Kelsai Mason
Monday, July 13th, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
8:00 pm
Having gone to see her for almost two months now, I should have known that Dr. Lucio was not going to back down, and all things being equal maybe I didn’t want her to back down concerning this either. I need help, and part of getting the help that I need means I must trust those closest to me even if I might not like some of the results, which I was almost guaranteed not to like some of the results that telling my husband Victor about my condition. Yet I know as I can hear him pull into the drive and turn off his car that Dr. Lucio is right, and I will feel so much better not carrying around this secret anymore.I take a deep breath as I know he just came through the front door. God I love my husband more than words.
Please remind me of that repeatedly when I fear that I am going to strongly dislike what he has to say before too much longer.
“Kelsai.”
“I am out on the deck babe!”
I can hear his foot falls as he gets closer and closer, normally signaling something that I cannot wait for as I just want to grab him and kiss him everytime he comes home after being gone somewhere. Have you ever loved someone that much? If you haven’t, I sincerely suggest finding your person and trying it because it is a truly intoxicating experience. Tonight though as I see him in the doorway to our deck with a warm smile on his face, all I feel is anxiety.
“Hello you.”
“Hey babe. Did you run?”
“Yeah, I was running. What are you up to with the TV turned on? Normally you don’t want anything to do with the TV.”
“Oh babe, this is Charlie’s Heart!”
“What is Charlie’s Heart if I can ask?”
“It is a reality dating show. The star of it is Charlie, and they are down to women who are trying to get this guy Charlie to fall in love with them and get them to propose!”
“You mean like propose marriage?”
“Yes, of course I mean propose marriage silly. What else do you think that he would be proposing to them?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe the guy is going to propose to one or even both of them that they are going to discuss their love lives away from the cameras of network television for starters?
“That’s not very nice Victor.”
“No, but it is incredibly accurate. Even you have to admit that.”
“Maybe.” I clear off a spot on the sofa next to me, motioning to it. “Why don’t sit down here next to me, watch the show, and see for yourself.”
“Yeah, about that, I am going to have to take a rain check I believe, but you have a good time watching that I will just hope from inside that Charlie is happy with the one he chooses.”
That was simply not good enough for me. I wanted and to be perfectly honest I needed Victor out here on the deck with me so that we could discuss things that needed to be discussed before I lost my nerve to do it. I batted my brown eyes at him and smiled my smile that even I will admit is gorgeous while pouting my lips toward him. In other words, Victor had absolutely no chance to say no to me anyway, but just to make certain that I was going to win I added this while already seeing him slowly come over…
“Please?”
Victor got to the sofa and sat down just shaking his head in amazement, while I instinctively cuddled inside his lap, looking up at him and smiling even wider than before and giggling because both of us knew that I had one, yet again.
“Hi.”
“Uh huh. So, tell me who am I watchi….holy crap!”
“What’s up baby?”
“So, you do know that woman looks exactly like…
“Don’t worry, her name is Gem, she is not Bree Lancaster, I promise you baby.”
“Well, I would assume so, because I think if she were going to be on TV for something like this, you probably would have said something to me by now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, baby. I know that you and Bree are not the best of friends and you probably never were, even when you were related.”
“That is one way of putting it, yeah. By the way, the other woman on this show…”
“Oh yeah, I know, she looks like Nicole Kinneck that used to wrestle for SCW, but her name really is April.”
“Small world we live in.”
“Yeah it really does seem that way sometimes doesn’t it?”
“Next thing you will know I will see that guy Charlie on here and he will be a dead ringer for Otto the homeless guy who hangs around outside of BlackOut Academy every now and then.”
Staring daggers back at my husband immediately, I elbow him in the ribs playfully because I know there is only one way that he could have gotten that last part, and I will bet that is where he came up with all three people. Still Victor does his best to try and act innocent, which is good for me at least because I can watch him struggle to try and keep a straight face. To be certain that is very cute, but I am still buying it and I know exactly where one of the places that Victor went on his run earlier.
“Owww, what was that elbow for?”
“I swear, when I see Mr. Jason Helms.”
“How does my wife abusing me have anything to do with Jason Helms?”
“I am hardly amused, so please don’t try and keep this up. I know that you were talking to Jason when you went on your run, right?
“I might have stopped by the Academy, yes. I am guilty of that much I suppose officer.”
“What I can’t figure out though, is what you were doing at the Academy? Because while you get along with everyone at the Academy well enough that you even workout there from time to time, you normally would have taken me, or at least invited me along unless there were things that you didn’t want me to do.”
“I was just checking on my girl, making sure that everything is okay with her.”
Struck by how matter of factly he said that, I decided to pursue it further because the comment really bothered me. Pressing pause on the remote, I then turned and looked up at my husband.
“What is that supposed to mean baby? If you wanted to check on something to do with me, why wouldn’t you just ask me what it is that you wanted to know?”
“Alright, you have been going to Dr. Lucio for what nearly two months now Kelsai, but what kind of progress have you made? I don’t even know for sure why you are going to see her, I just know that you are.
Oh damn, I know I said that Victor and I needed to talk about everything tonight concerning my condition, but I would prefer that it didn’t start out with him upset with me already, and yet that looked like it was exactly what was going to happen. Still, I try to calm Victor a little bit because would you want to be angry already right before you were about to find out that your spouse was living with major depressive disorder? Yeah, me neither.
“Alright baby, I am sorry that I have not been more forthcoming about my sessions with Dr. Lucio. Is there anything that you would like to know?”
“Why are you going to see Dr. Lucio and is it helping like you would have hoped?”
“I was starting to see her in the beginning because there were a lot of things in my life, particularly a lot of things in wrestling, like losing over and over that were starting to make me second guess myself.”
“So you were having some confidence issues?”
“That is exactly what it was in the beginning, yes.”
“That is exactly what it was in the beginning, so, what is happening now? Has seeing her helped you at all with your confidence issues?”
“Yes, it has helped me improve my confidence some, but there is something else that you really need to know that is going on, something much more important, that I was going to talk to you about tonight actually.”
Victor could tell just how nervous I was becoming and that made his face soften immediately, as he was now waiting on me to tell him what was going on, while he started to cradle me in his arms.
“Let me help you Kelsai. Tell me what is going. I want to help you if I can.”
“I want to let you help me too. I can’t do this alone anymore. Dr. Lucio has been trying to tell me that I needed some help from you, and I am finally coming to the conclusion that she was right the entire time saying that.”
“What is going on with you Kelsai? Are you sick or something?”
You can do this Kelsai, you can do this, because you need to do this. .
“Alright, like I said in the beginning I was just going to see Dr. Lucio, because she was going to help me with my confidence. But Dr. Lucio started to notice things about me as I was talking to her, and she was able to make a diagnosis that besides having anxiety which I think we were both aware of already, I have major depressive disorder.”
For a few moments I was scared because Victor was not saying anything at all and then I realized that he was just holding me in his arms and was not about to let me go anytime soon.
“This makes so much sense now. I am not a psychologist, but I have realized certain things about you have changed. Like you don’t talk to fans or promote events like you used to. I thought you were just getting tired out, and I was hoping that once GCW was finished with the travel internationally that would help.”
“You are not wrong either baby, I am tired, so tired and Dr. Lucio says that is all part of this too. When I am going to the ring the adrenaline is flowing for my match I feel alright, normal, but the rest of the time I feel so tired.”
“Well, I will do whatever it takes to help you not feel that way anymore. As much as you frustrate me sometimes I love you and I am committed to helping you feel like yourself again, whatever it takes.
“Thank you so much for that. You don’t know what that means to me. I am not ever sure what it means to me, honestly”
He just continued to hold on to me for several moments and of course I became lost, mesmerized so much that I almost forgot why I didn’t want to tell Victor about my condition initially. Almost as if he could read my mind at that point, Victor made sure that I remembered why I was scared to let him know what was going on in the first place as I looked into my eyes, wiping a hair out of them.
“Now you know that this means for the time being until you are better Kelsai, we are going to have to put our aspirations of adopting a child on hold.”
Finally hearing the words that I feared hearing the most, I sat up on the sofa and I adamant as to how I felt about the situation.
“No.”
“Kelsai, surely you cannot be serious right now dear.”
“I am completely serious sir, not kidding in the least. My depression is not going to keep us from adopting. It is not even going to slow us down.”
“Kelsai, it just is not practical hon. Adoption agencies would question whether or not they could put children in our care right with you battling depression right now. We need to care for you first.”
“We don’t have to tell anyone that I have anything wrong with me. That’s it, we can just not tell the adoption agencies.”
“Kelsai, listen to what you are saying for a minute please. Lying to an adoption agency is a serious criminal offense and we are not criminals. We do things the right way, remember?”
“We are just not going to tell anyone anything, that way we are not lying and they will never know!
“And lying by omission is still lying. You can ask the authorities about that if you don’t believe me. Kelsai, you sound like you have gone mad! People would question whether or not safely raise a child!”
And I am not going to lie, that one did hurt. Victor was correct in what he said, but this hurt a lot, no doubt about it.
“People would question whether or not I could safely raise a child? Did you just say that to me?”
“Yes I did, and this time I am not backing down or giving into you Kelsai. Until your mental health improves considerably we will not be attempting to adopt a child!
“Fine. I am sleeping out here tonight. Please leave.”
“I am already ahead of you there.”
Victor stood up and walked in the house slamming the deck door behind him and….
Office of Dr. Lucio
Saturday July 18, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
Present time
“........and that was the last time that Victor and I spoke until early Wednesday morning when I was getting ready to leave for Breakdown.”
“And that is also time for this session today Kelsai. Next time we can discuss how things are between you and Victor now alright?”
“Alright Dr. Lucio. And thank you for coming into your office to see me on your day off. I certainly do appreciate you accommodating my busy schedule.”
“You are most welcome Kelsai. You do have a busy schedule, no doubt. What does it look like for the next week or so?”
“Tonight I am back in Virginia for an SCW then going down to show. Off tomorrow before going down to Mexico for GCW Livewire Tuesday night Then I fly from Mexico immediately to Milwaukee for Breakdown Wednesday night and that is where I will stay doing promotional stuff for Rise to Greatness next Sunday.”
“Well that is certainly ambitious. I will probably see you around Milwaukee Saturday. Amy has asked me to be there and watch her get inducted into the Hall of Fame.”
“So, so deserving, and I can’t wait for that!”
“Me neither Kelsai, Amy has overcome a lot to get where she is today, a true inspiration. What are you doing for the Rise to Greatness event itself. I am sure that you have a match.”
“Oh yeah, I get to take on 13 other people in what SCW is calling the Brawl To Settle It All. The winner of the match is the number one contender to the United States Championship. So you know, just another day at the office.
I beam, while Dr. Lucio looks stunned. “I am exhausted just thinking about that, but good luck Kelsai, and I will see you for our next session after Rise to Greatness.”
“I will see you then, Dr. Lucio.”
Standing up and walking out of Dr. Lucio’s office I am actually feeling pretty positive heading into the home stretch toward Rise to Greatness and my shot to become the number one contender to the United States Championship.
On Camera
Alone in my hotel room I sit down and take a deep breath before I press record on a camcorder connected to a tripod and smile one of my thousand watt smiles.
“Rise to Greatness.
Just the name brings to mind so many memories in professional wrestling that where do I begin to discuss what is going to happen on Rise to Greatness weekend because it is here. From the time I was a very little girl in knew that not only did I desire to be the very best wrestler that I could be but I also realized that being that meant that one day I would come to this stage, Rise to Greatness and I would attempt to leave my mark on the elite in this sport like so many have done before me.
I am actually blessed enough to have come to this stage a second time because I am aware that there are only a few of us in this sport that reach the pinnacle that those of us who are lucky enough to be a part of this weekend in SCW. Last year, I was fortunate enough to be part of a match that people are still talking about today a year later as one of the best matches for the whole weekend. Yes, we might have “only been on the pre-show” but we really gave them a match to remember us by, didn’t we Peyton Rice? Fifteen minutes to decide the SCW Television Championship, and fifteen minutes for the two of us leave our mark on this stage like so many have done before us. Boy, we sure did leave that mark too didn’t we Peyton? Yes, you won because you are incredible and winning is just what you do but I really pushed you to your limits. I know not just because of all of the fans as well as other competitors who have told me as much, but you have told me that yourself, and you are not the type of person who says something just to be nice. If you say that I pushed you to your limit that is precisely what happened. We gave the fans an outstanding match up, and it is something I will remember in my heart for the rest of my life, even if I did come up just a little bit short.
That is what this weekend is all about too, making memories that will last from one generation of wrestling fans to the next, and it does encompass the whole weekend. There are a few matches on the pre show and I would strongly encourage everyone that is participating in those matches to take this for what it is; an opportunity. Because that is exactly what you are being presented with. The pre show is not just an afterthought, the pre show is time for those that are participating in it to shine, to make their own moment, their memory. As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as saying “only on the pre show” like it is an insult or a demotion. Peyton and I certainly didn’t see it as one. You are on THE STAGE, and if that doesn’t mean something to you, then maybe you don’t belong in the sport. Because I could go onto twitter and find hundreds of wrestlers that are not getting that chance this weekend and maybe they never will get that chance. You are lucky enough to be given this opportunity that most only dream of, so go out there and make the most of it.
Also this weekend we have something that I am still having a little...no a lot of problems putting into words just how much this means to me personally, because SCW is welcoming into their Hall of Fame…..”
This caught me by surprise because I wasn’t expecting to get emotional over this but I got more wrapped up in the sentiment I guess and the tears started to flow. I take several deep breaths to compose myself before continuing.
“SCW is welcoming into the SCW Hall of Fame, Amy Chastaine. Yeah maybe I should have expected to become emotional when talking about this because Amy is so much more than just my manager and my mentor. Amy is one of my idols, she is my friend, and Amy is like another Mom to me alright? This Saturday night my MOM is going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, how many of you can say that? Not to mention she just might be the most deserving person to ever be enshrined. The first woman to become an SCW Supreme Champion and the fastest person man or woman to accomplish that same feat! Any of you would be hard pressed to tell me another wrestler who is more deserving of being inducted into the SCW Hall of Fame than Amy and honestly I don’t think there is one.
Thank you for all of the memories Amy, I love you, and congratulations. Saturday night is your night. You earned and deserve every single second of it.
After the Hall of Fame ceremony Saturday night, that brings us to Sunday night and Rise to Greatness, and while there is so much to talk about, we have so many talented performers that you will be hearing from leading up to their incredible matches and opportunities that for I am go to be a wrestler and not a fan, which is HARD for me but I will concentrate on only myself for a change. Because I don’t know if anyone is aware of this, but this year over all has been rough for me in the ring. That was a little sarcasm perhaps because I think that everyone is well aware that things have not been going my way recently. I have lost several matches and it doesn’t help psychologically when I lose a match but everyone is talking about how close I came to winning because close doesn’t cut it in anyone ring when you strive to be the best like I do and in an SCW ring?
Close means nothing at all, I am living proof of that.
It doesn’t mean that I am going to quit either and Sunday I have a huge mountain to climb in The Brawl to Settle It All match. 14 competitors including me battle to a one fall finish to decide who is the number one contender for the SCW United States Championship and there are some outstanding competitors in this match.
To hear no less than Jonothan Knots say it at Breakdown, “You have two executioners, a dancing bear, a deviant couple, a masked madwoman, a hall of famer, someone who wants to let love in, and two pissed off veterans who feel they should deserve better.” Just in case there is somehow someone that wasn’t aware, I am the “someone who wants to let love in” in that whole equation. That is something that I am almost certain that everyone knew already, but after this week so far I know that fans and fellow competitors know who I am even more now and what I stand for. That’s because in the other promotion that I work for, there was a match earlier this week where one person ended up getting assaulted two on one. The person who was assaulted can only be described as someone who has done some awful things to many people, especially the Mason family, and I have definitely been included in that as personally he has said some things that are so indescribable to me that I will not even go into that because I do not wish to hear them again.
However, I am who I am, I was just created a particular way I guess, but when everyone else was basically basking in the glow of this assault on this individual and acting as though he got what was coming to him, I did not! No, I was compassionate and forgiving even to him, and I asked if he was alright.
Do you know what happened?
Every person that saw me ask this person if he was alright acted as though I was betraying my family, myself, and even wrestling in general!
Do you understand what was and is happening to me?!
I am being ostracized by almost everyone because I showed compassion for another wrestler after a 2 on 1 assault that left him battered and laying in the ring. It's not like I offered to help this individual, all I did was ask him if he was okay, and for this I am treated as an outcast by almost everyone?! This is, excuse me, absolutely ridiculous, and it’s and I will apologize for my language now to my Momma who taught me better than this but it's BULLSHIT and I am fired up damn it!
I have heard it all before, the whispers of “Nobody does things like Kelsai, wrestlers don’t do things like she does.” and people just shake their head in disgust well you know what?!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
Nobody in wrestling, nobody anywhere is like me that is the whole point! I do things MY way, I am a unique individual and I am all done apologizing for that! I am not like your average mean girl who looks the same, talks the same garbage about their opponents, and then laughs because their opponent feels marginalized by their bullying. People can get all upset with me for saying that if they want but I could really care less because I know that this happens all the time and I am going to expose them from now on!! I see these women on Twitter everyday who bully others and it makes me sick no matter who they are, and I am not going to take it anymore!
I am not the same as so many other girls and I will not keep my mouth shut any longer! I know how people choose to see me, alright? Everyone thinks that I am cute and sweet but that I am not a threat and why would they see me as a threat for anything because I have fallen into the trap. I am Kelsai Adamson-Mason, and whether it is in GCW or SCW I am great for promoting your shows, my face is on everything for both of those companies for which I am not complaining at all, but once all that promotion is finished either company moves on to someone else in the actual show because Kelsai is just this nice girl who says Let Love In but she is also fragile and isn’t going to win most of the time right?
WRONG!
That stops now, because I am not fragile, I believe in the power of LOVE! I know that there is nothing more powerful than LOVE and that will be on full display this Sunday at Rise to Greatness. Love conquers all so whether it’s two executioners, a dancing bear, a deviant couple, a masked madwoman, a hall of famer, two pissed off veterans who feel they should deserve better. You could even be one of my best friends who has a lot of love to give herself, but the point is this; come Sunday at Rise to Greatness, I am going to Let Love In, and I will leave everything in the ring, will do whatever it takes to anyone else in that ring who tries to stop me!
I will say it one more time, I am not some fragile flower that you can cast aside once the bell rings and forget about while someone else wins all of the glory! I am strong because love is strong and I am brave because love makes me brave, and at Rise to Greatness I will make my memory and have my moment...
Because I will walk out the number one contender for the SCW United States Championship!
Static
![[Image: aHCDa8X.png]](https://i.imgur.com/aHCDa8X.png)
The End of The Beginning
Off Camera
Office of Dr. Lucio
Saturday July 18, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
11 am
Sometimes no matter how bad you might want to, there is just no way around it and you cannot hide anymore.
Truth be told, I really never should have hidden from anyone anyway, and I certainly didn’t want to continue hiding either, but there was just one reason after another to keep from hiding. I was becoming so good at it too, I could hide the fact that I have major depressive disorder from the very best of them, to my closest friends, to my mentor, to my family members, nobody has known that I have had these things going inside of me for so long. I didn’t even know until I started therapy with Dr. Lucio, whose office I am sitting in right now, gave me the diagnosis, and then said as part of my therapy that I needed to tell my husband Victor about my condition.
That should be the easiest thing in the world for me because Victor is the most compassionate person that I know. It wasn’t easy for me however because I knew what one of Victor’s responses would be that the two of us at this point are not going to pursue adopting a child until my mental health improves. I know that is definitely the correct thing to do too, as looking at this from the perspective of an adoption agency whose primary objective is to place children in safe, loving, and nurturing environments placing a child in the care of someone currently battling major depressive disorder is certainly not ideal and shouldn’t happen.
The trouble is however, I have not been looking at this from that responsible and mature perspective. Instead I have been looking at this solely from the perspective of a woman who desires to be a mother to a child, a child that needs a mother and father, and if there is any doubt, I know that Victor would make an excellent father also. Does Victor want this adoption as badly as I do though?
This is going to sound terrible because Victor and I, we are married, which means we are supposed to work as a team in everything, but there is no way that Victor wants to adopt a child as badly as I do. I honestly do not think that there is anyone on this planet that wants to adopt a child as much as this woman right here. There is a very good reason why I want to adopt from the bottom of heart and soul and it deals with more than the fact that babies are cute and need lots of love and attention which everyone knows that I have to give in spades. Ever since I found out that I was adopted last year though and I believed that it was wrong for my Daddy and Momma and to have waited for so long to tell me about that, I also just knew that Victor and I could adopt a child and do things right.
What is right when you are raising a child that you have adopted or any child for that matter?
There really is no good way to answer that honestly, though I am certain it doesn’t involve keeping life changing information from them until they are 22 years old. Yeah, I know that Victor and I would never do that! This probably means that I have a lot of unresolved issues with my parents who no doubt are wonderful people who I love infinitely, but I still don’t understand why they withheld this information from me. I am sure that I need to work through all of those issues at some point too.
Right now though as I look across at the face of Dr. Lucio in her office, I am well aware that the is only one thing that she needs to hear from me, and as per usual Dr. Lucio never disappoints and gets right to the heart of the matter.
“Kelsai, how are things going at home now since you have told Victor about the fact that you are living with major depressive disorder, because I know that you did tell him about this finally, correct?”
“Yes, I did tell Victor, Dr. Lucio.”
Finally, a hint, just a hint mind you, but a hint of smile just the same as I give Dr. Lucio the confirmation that she has been waiting for.
“I know that I gave you an ultimatum last session concerning whether or not you were going to tell Victor, and while I would have rather it not came to that I am glad in the end that you made the proper decision.”
“Victor is my husband and so this was the right thing to do even if I was stubborn about this for way too long. Thank you for helping me to see that Dr. Lucio. I do feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, no longer carrying around this secret.”
“Now, has Victor provided the social support that we both expected that he would be for you?”
“Oh rest assured Dr. Lucio, Victor reacted and responded exactly how would both knew he would, both good and terrible.”
“Excuse me? How did Victor’s reaction to this news translate into something terrible?”
“Well you see Dr. Lucio….
Home of Victor and Kelsai Mason
Monday, July 13th, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
8:00 pm
Having gone to see her for almost two months now, I should have known that Dr. Lucio was not going to back down, and all things being equal maybe I didn’t want her to back down concerning this either. I need help, and part of getting the help that I need means I must trust those closest to me even if I might not like some of the results, which I was almost guaranteed not to like some of the results that telling my husband Victor about my condition. Yet I know as I can hear him pull into the drive and turn off his car that Dr. Lucio is right, and I will feel so much better not carrying around this secret anymore.I take a deep breath as I know he just came through the front door. God I love my husband more than words.
Please remind me of that repeatedly when I fear that I am going to strongly dislike what he has to say before too much longer.
“Kelsai.”
“I am out on the deck babe!”
I can hear his foot falls as he gets closer and closer, normally signaling something that I cannot wait for as I just want to grab him and kiss him everytime he comes home after being gone somewhere. Have you ever loved someone that much? If you haven’t, I sincerely suggest finding your person and trying it because it is a truly intoxicating experience. Tonight though as I see him in the doorway to our deck with a warm smile on his face, all I feel is anxiety.
“Hello you.”
“Hey babe. Did you run?”
“Yeah, I was running. What are you up to with the TV turned on? Normally you don’t want anything to do with the TV.”
“Oh babe, this is Charlie’s Heart!”
“What is Charlie’s Heart if I can ask?”
“It is a reality dating show. The star of it is Charlie, and they are down to women who are trying to get this guy Charlie to fall in love with them and get them to propose!”
“You mean like propose marriage?”
“Yes, of course I mean propose marriage silly. What else do you think that he would be proposing to them?”
“Oh I don’t know, maybe the guy is going to propose to one or even both of them that they are going to discuss their love lives away from the cameras of network television for starters?
“That’s not very nice Victor.”
“No, but it is incredibly accurate. Even you have to admit that.”
“Maybe.” I clear off a spot on the sofa next to me, motioning to it. “Why don’t sit down here next to me, watch the show, and see for yourself.”
“Yeah, about that, I am going to have to take a rain check I believe, but you have a good time watching that I will just hope from inside that Charlie is happy with the one he chooses.”
That was simply not good enough for me. I wanted and to be perfectly honest I needed Victor out here on the deck with me so that we could discuss things that needed to be discussed before I lost my nerve to do it. I batted my brown eyes at him and smiled my smile that even I will admit is gorgeous while pouting my lips toward him. In other words, Victor had absolutely no chance to say no to me anyway, but just to make certain that I was going to win I added this while already seeing him slowly come over…
“Please?”
Victor got to the sofa and sat down just shaking his head in amazement, while I instinctively cuddled inside his lap, looking up at him and smiling even wider than before and giggling because both of us knew that I had one, yet again.
“Hi.”
“Uh huh. So, tell me who am I watchi….holy crap!”
“What’s up baby?”
“So, you do know that woman looks exactly like…
“Don’t worry, her name is Gem, she is not Bree Lancaster, I promise you baby.”
“Well, I would assume so, because I think if she were going to be on TV for something like this, you probably would have said something to me by now.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, baby. I know that you and Bree are not the best of friends and you probably never were, even when you were related.”
“That is one way of putting it, yeah. By the way, the other woman on this show…”
“Oh yeah, I know, she looks like Nicole Kinneck that used to wrestle for SCW, but her name really is April.”
“Small world we live in.”
“Yeah it really does seem that way sometimes doesn’t it?”
“Next thing you will know I will see that guy Charlie on here and he will be a dead ringer for Otto the homeless guy who hangs around outside of BlackOut Academy every now and then.”
Staring daggers back at my husband immediately, I elbow him in the ribs playfully because I know there is only one way that he could have gotten that last part, and I will bet that is where he came up with all three people. Still Victor does his best to try and act innocent, which is good for me at least because I can watch him struggle to try and keep a straight face. To be certain that is very cute, but I am still buying it and I know exactly where one of the places that Victor went on his run earlier.
“Owww, what was that elbow for?”
“I swear, when I see Mr. Jason Helms.”
“How does my wife abusing me have anything to do with Jason Helms?”
“I am hardly amused, so please don’t try and keep this up. I know that you were talking to Jason when you went on your run, right?
“I might have stopped by the Academy, yes. I am guilty of that much I suppose officer.”
“What I can’t figure out though, is what you were doing at the Academy? Because while you get along with everyone at the Academy well enough that you even workout there from time to time, you normally would have taken me, or at least invited me along unless there were things that you didn’t want me to do.”
“I was just checking on my girl, making sure that everything is okay with her.”
Struck by how matter of factly he said that, I decided to pursue it further because the comment really bothered me. Pressing pause on the remote, I then turned and looked up at my husband.
“What is that supposed to mean baby? If you wanted to check on something to do with me, why wouldn’t you just ask me what it is that you wanted to know?”
“Alright, you have been going to Dr. Lucio for what nearly two months now Kelsai, but what kind of progress have you made? I don’t even know for sure why you are going to see her, I just know that you are.
Oh damn, I know I said that Victor and I needed to talk about everything tonight concerning my condition, but I would prefer that it didn’t start out with him upset with me already, and yet that looked like it was exactly what was going to happen. Still, I try to calm Victor a little bit because would you want to be angry already right before you were about to find out that your spouse was living with major depressive disorder? Yeah, me neither.
“Alright baby, I am sorry that I have not been more forthcoming about my sessions with Dr. Lucio. Is there anything that you would like to know?”
“Why are you going to see Dr. Lucio and is it helping like you would have hoped?”
“I was starting to see her in the beginning because there were a lot of things in my life, particularly a lot of things in wrestling, like losing over and over that were starting to make me second guess myself.”
“So you were having some confidence issues?”
“That is exactly what it was in the beginning, yes.”
“That is exactly what it was in the beginning, so, what is happening now? Has seeing her helped you at all with your confidence issues?”
“Yes, it has helped me improve my confidence some, but there is something else that you really need to know that is going on, something much more important, that I was going to talk to you about tonight actually.”
Victor could tell just how nervous I was becoming and that made his face soften immediately, as he was now waiting on me to tell him what was going on, while he started to cradle me in his arms.
“Let me help you Kelsai. Tell me what is going. I want to help you if I can.”
“I want to let you help me too. I can’t do this alone anymore. Dr. Lucio has been trying to tell me that I needed some help from you, and I am finally coming to the conclusion that she was right the entire time saying that.”
“What is going on with you Kelsai? Are you sick or something?”
You can do this Kelsai, you can do this, because you need to do this. .
“Alright, like I said in the beginning I was just going to see Dr. Lucio, because she was going to help me with my confidence. But Dr. Lucio started to notice things about me as I was talking to her, and she was able to make a diagnosis that besides having anxiety which I think we were both aware of already, I have major depressive disorder.”
For a few moments I was scared because Victor was not saying anything at all and then I realized that he was just holding me in his arms and was not about to let me go anytime soon.
“This makes so much sense now. I am not a psychologist, but I have realized certain things about you have changed. Like you don’t talk to fans or promote events like you used to. I thought you were just getting tired out, and I was hoping that once GCW was finished with the travel internationally that would help.”
“You are not wrong either baby, I am tired, so tired and Dr. Lucio says that is all part of this too. When I am going to the ring the adrenaline is flowing for my match I feel alright, normal, but the rest of the time I feel so tired.”
“Well, I will do whatever it takes to help you not feel that way anymore. As much as you frustrate me sometimes I love you and I am committed to helping you feel like yourself again, whatever it takes.
“Thank you so much for that. You don’t know what that means to me. I am not ever sure what it means to me, honestly”
He just continued to hold on to me for several moments and of course I became lost, mesmerized so much that I almost forgot why I didn’t want to tell Victor about my condition initially. Almost as if he could read my mind at that point, Victor made sure that I remembered why I was scared to let him know what was going on in the first place as I looked into my eyes, wiping a hair out of them.
“Now you know that this means for the time being until you are better Kelsai, we are going to have to put our aspirations of adopting a child on hold.”
Finally hearing the words that I feared hearing the most, I sat up on the sofa and I adamant as to how I felt about the situation.
“No.”
“Kelsai, surely you cannot be serious right now dear.”
“I am completely serious sir, not kidding in the least. My depression is not going to keep us from adopting. It is not even going to slow us down.”
“Kelsai, it just is not practical hon. Adoption agencies would question whether or not they could put children in our care right with you battling depression right now. We need to care for you first.”
“We don’t have to tell anyone that I have anything wrong with me. That’s it, we can just not tell the adoption agencies.”
“Kelsai, listen to what you are saying for a minute please. Lying to an adoption agency is a serious criminal offense and we are not criminals. We do things the right way, remember?”
“We are just not going to tell anyone anything, that way we are not lying and they will never know!
“And lying by omission is still lying. You can ask the authorities about that if you don’t believe me. Kelsai, you sound like you have gone mad! People would question whether or not safely raise a child!”
And I am not going to lie, that one did hurt. Victor was correct in what he said, but this hurt a lot, no doubt about it.
“People would question whether or not I could safely raise a child? Did you just say that to me?”
“Yes I did, and this time I am not backing down or giving into you Kelsai. Until your mental health improves considerably we will not be attempting to adopt a child!
“Fine. I am sleeping out here tonight. Please leave.”
“I am already ahead of you there.”
Victor stood up and walked in the house slamming the deck door behind him and….
Office of Dr. Lucio
Saturday July 18, 2020
New Orleans, Louisiana
Present time
“........and that was the last time that Victor and I spoke until early Wednesday morning when I was getting ready to leave for Breakdown.”
“And that is also time for this session today Kelsai. Next time we can discuss how things are between you and Victor now alright?”
“Alright Dr. Lucio. And thank you for coming into your office to see me on your day off. I certainly do appreciate you accommodating my busy schedule.”
“You are most welcome Kelsai. You do have a busy schedule, no doubt. What does it look like for the next week or so?”
“Tonight I am back in Virginia for an SCW then going down to show. Off tomorrow before going down to Mexico for GCW Livewire Tuesday night Then I fly from Mexico immediately to Milwaukee for Breakdown Wednesday night and that is where I will stay doing promotional stuff for Rise to Greatness next Sunday.”
“Well that is certainly ambitious. I will probably see you around Milwaukee Saturday. Amy has asked me to be there and watch her get inducted into the Hall of Fame.”
“So, so deserving, and I can’t wait for that!”
“Me neither Kelsai, Amy has overcome a lot to get where she is today, a true inspiration. What are you doing for the Rise to Greatness event itself. I am sure that you have a match.”
“Oh yeah, I get to take on 13 other people in what SCW is calling the Brawl To Settle It All. The winner of the match is the number one contender to the United States Championship. So you know, just another day at the office.
I beam, while Dr. Lucio looks stunned. “I am exhausted just thinking about that, but good luck Kelsai, and I will see you for our next session after Rise to Greatness.”
“I will see you then, Dr. Lucio.”
Standing up and walking out of Dr. Lucio’s office I am actually feeling pretty positive heading into the home stretch toward Rise to Greatness and my shot to become the number one contender to the United States Championship.
The Price of Being Me
On Camera
Alone in my hotel room I sit down and take a deep breath before I press record on a camcorder connected to a tripod and smile one of my thousand watt smiles.
“Rise to Greatness.
Just the name brings to mind so many memories in professional wrestling that where do I begin to discuss what is going to happen on Rise to Greatness weekend because it is here. From the time I was a very little girl in knew that not only did I desire to be the very best wrestler that I could be but I also realized that being that meant that one day I would come to this stage, Rise to Greatness and I would attempt to leave my mark on the elite in this sport like so many have done before me.
I am actually blessed enough to have come to this stage a second time because I am aware that there are only a few of us in this sport that reach the pinnacle that those of us who are lucky enough to be a part of this weekend in SCW. Last year, I was fortunate enough to be part of a match that people are still talking about today a year later as one of the best matches for the whole weekend. Yes, we might have “only been on the pre-show” but we really gave them a match to remember us by, didn’t we Peyton Rice? Fifteen minutes to decide the SCW Television Championship, and fifteen minutes for the two of us leave our mark on this stage like so many have done before us. Boy, we sure did leave that mark too didn’t we Peyton? Yes, you won because you are incredible and winning is just what you do but I really pushed you to your limits. I know not just because of all of the fans as well as other competitors who have told me as much, but you have told me that yourself, and you are not the type of person who says something just to be nice. If you say that I pushed you to your limit that is precisely what happened. We gave the fans an outstanding match up, and it is something I will remember in my heart for the rest of my life, even if I did come up just a little bit short.
That is what this weekend is all about too, making memories that will last from one generation of wrestling fans to the next, and it does encompass the whole weekend. There are a few matches on the pre show and I would strongly encourage everyone that is participating in those matches to take this for what it is; an opportunity. Because that is exactly what you are being presented with. The pre show is not just an afterthought, the pre show is time for those that are participating in it to shine, to make their own moment, their memory. As far as I am concerned there is no such thing as saying “only on the pre show” like it is an insult or a demotion. Peyton and I certainly didn’t see it as one. You are on THE STAGE, and if that doesn’t mean something to you, then maybe you don’t belong in the sport. Because I could go onto twitter and find hundreds of wrestlers that are not getting that chance this weekend and maybe they never will get that chance. You are lucky enough to be given this opportunity that most only dream of, so go out there and make the most of it.
Also this weekend we have something that I am still having a little...no a lot of problems putting into words just how much this means to me personally, because SCW is welcoming into their Hall of Fame…..”
This caught me by surprise because I wasn’t expecting to get emotional over this but I got more wrapped up in the sentiment I guess and the tears started to flow. I take several deep breaths to compose myself before continuing.
“SCW is welcoming into the SCW Hall of Fame, Amy Chastaine. Yeah maybe I should have expected to become emotional when talking about this because Amy is so much more than just my manager and my mentor. Amy is one of my idols, she is my friend, and Amy is like another Mom to me alright? This Saturday night my MOM is going to be inducted into the Hall of Fame, how many of you can say that? Not to mention she just might be the most deserving person to ever be enshrined. The first woman to become an SCW Supreme Champion and the fastest person man or woman to accomplish that same feat! Any of you would be hard pressed to tell me another wrestler who is more deserving of being inducted into the SCW Hall of Fame than Amy and honestly I don’t think there is one.
Thank you for all of the memories Amy, I love you, and congratulations. Saturday night is your night. You earned and deserve every single second of it.
After the Hall of Fame ceremony Saturday night, that brings us to Sunday night and Rise to Greatness, and while there is so much to talk about, we have so many talented performers that you will be hearing from leading up to their incredible matches and opportunities that for I am go to be a wrestler and not a fan, which is HARD for me but I will concentrate on only myself for a change. Because I don’t know if anyone is aware of this, but this year over all has been rough for me in the ring. That was a little sarcasm perhaps because I think that everyone is well aware that things have not been going my way recently. I have lost several matches and it doesn’t help psychologically when I lose a match but everyone is talking about how close I came to winning because close doesn’t cut it in anyone ring when you strive to be the best like I do and in an SCW ring?
Close means nothing at all, I am living proof of that.
It doesn’t mean that I am going to quit either and Sunday I have a huge mountain to climb in The Brawl to Settle It All match. 14 competitors including me battle to a one fall finish to decide who is the number one contender for the SCW United States Championship and there are some outstanding competitors in this match.
To hear no less than Jonothan Knots say it at Breakdown, “You have two executioners, a dancing bear, a deviant couple, a masked madwoman, a hall of famer, someone who wants to let love in, and two pissed off veterans who feel they should deserve better.” Just in case there is somehow someone that wasn’t aware, I am the “someone who wants to let love in” in that whole equation. That is something that I am almost certain that everyone knew already, but after this week so far I know that fans and fellow competitors know who I am even more now and what I stand for. That’s because in the other promotion that I work for, there was a match earlier this week where one person ended up getting assaulted two on one. The person who was assaulted can only be described as someone who has done some awful things to many people, especially the Mason family, and I have definitely been included in that as personally he has said some things that are so indescribable to me that I will not even go into that because I do not wish to hear them again.
However, I am who I am, I was just created a particular way I guess, but when everyone else was basically basking in the glow of this assault on this individual and acting as though he got what was coming to him, I did not! No, I was compassionate and forgiving even to him, and I asked if he was alright.
Do you know what happened?
Every person that saw me ask this person if he was alright acted as though I was betraying my family, myself, and even wrestling in general!
Do you understand what was and is happening to me?!
I am being ostracized by almost everyone because I showed compassion for another wrestler after a 2 on 1 assault that left him battered and laying in the ring. It's not like I offered to help this individual, all I did was ask him if he was okay, and for this I am treated as an outcast by almost everyone?! This is, excuse me, absolutely ridiculous, and it’s and I will apologize for my language now to my Momma who taught me better than this but it's BULLSHIT and I am fired up damn it!
I have heard it all before, the whispers of “Nobody does things like Kelsai, wrestlers don’t do things like she does.” and people just shake their head in disgust well you know what?!
YOU'RE RIGHT!
Nobody in wrestling, nobody anywhere is like me that is the whole point! I do things MY way, I am a unique individual and I am all done apologizing for that! I am not like your average mean girl who looks the same, talks the same garbage about their opponents, and then laughs because their opponent feels marginalized by their bullying. People can get all upset with me for saying that if they want but I could really care less because I know that this happens all the time and I am going to expose them from now on!! I see these women on Twitter everyday who bully others and it makes me sick no matter who they are, and I am not going to take it anymore!
I am not the same as so many other girls and I will not keep my mouth shut any longer! I know how people choose to see me, alright? Everyone thinks that I am cute and sweet but that I am not a threat and why would they see me as a threat for anything because I have fallen into the trap. I am Kelsai Adamson-Mason, and whether it is in GCW or SCW I am great for promoting your shows, my face is on everything for both of those companies for which I am not complaining at all, but once all that promotion is finished either company moves on to someone else in the actual show because Kelsai is just this nice girl who says Let Love In but she is also fragile and isn’t going to win most of the time right?
WRONG!
That stops now, because I am not fragile, I believe in the power of LOVE! I know that there is nothing more powerful than LOVE and that will be on full display this Sunday at Rise to Greatness. Love conquers all so whether it’s two executioners, a dancing bear, a deviant couple, a masked madwoman, a hall of famer, two pissed off veterans who feel they should deserve better. You could even be one of my best friends who has a lot of love to give herself, but the point is this; come Sunday at Rise to Greatness, I am going to Let Love In, and I will leave everything in the ring, will do whatever it takes to anyone else in that ring who tries to stop me!
I will say it one more time, I am not some fragile flower that you can cast aside once the bell rings and forget about while someone else wins all of the glory! I am strong because love is strong and I am brave because love makes me brave, and at Rise to Greatness I will make my memory and have my moment...
Because I will walk out the number one contender for the SCW United States Championship!
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