09-01-2020, 10:42 PM
OOC: This, friends, is what I call a "so I don't no-show promo." Apologies.
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Well. SCW hasn't quite gone my way lately, has it? I thought I was off to a good start with the wins over those local talents after my debut. But then I stepped in the ring with real SCW stars, contracted wrestlers. Cassidy Carter... loss. Yeah, it was by DQ cause someone ran in and messed with her, but I didn't get to finish it the way I wanted. Ridley Ellis. I don't even want to talk about that one, his manager said strange things to me over Twitter and I'd like to stay off their radar. Then there was Rise to Greatness weekend. The triple threat on the preshow where I joined Crystal Zdunich and Holly Adams. And got myself pinned by Holly. Not that there's anything to be ashamed of about that, Holly is an SCW legend and a new Hall of Fame member. But again... it wasn't what I wanted.
None of this is what I expected.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect to show up here and mow everyone down and be a champion already or anything ridiculous like that. I know I'm far to new, and probably too green for all that, despite my training. I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. I know I can do better. I know I AM better. I told Josh recently that maybe I made a mistake coming here so soon. He promptly told me I was being stupid. You guys probably know him better than I do, you know he's blunt like that. And on hearing it... I decided he was right. He wouldn't have gotten me into the door here if he didn't think I was ready. He wouldn't be in my corner, putting all of his career and reputation behind me if he didn't think I was good enough.
I realized that the problem isn't that I'm not good enough or that I don't deserve to be here. The problem has been in my head. I might be ready physically, have the talent and the strength to step up to anyone in the ring, but mentally?
I beat myself before I got in the ring. Or maybe even before I got into the arena.
The time off after Rise to Greatness though gave me time to reflect about all of this. Maybe my own feelings that I wasn't REALLY ready for this held me back. But I know what I need to do now. Josh helped me obviously, gave me his own version of a few pep talks, which are probably more accurately described as “tough love lectures.” But at the end of the day, I know that it all comes down to me. Josh might be in my corner in and out of the ring but Josh isn't fighting my matches for me. When the bell rings, I'm in there with my opponent all by myself.
And the only person who can make me believe I'm good enough, I belong here, and that I can win... is myself.
Imanov... sorry, I don't want to butcher your last name.... we'll meet in that ring this week. You're relatively new to SCW too, although not new to the business. From what I've heard, you have a lot more experience than I do, years. So has every other contracted wrestler I've faced so far. Maybe that's what got into my head. But I'm not gonna let that happen this week. Experience isn't the only thing that matters, it's not the only thing that determines who will win or lose. There are things like determination, motivation, heart. I don't know you from Adam but what I do know is that I'm tired of getting in my own way and I am determined to do better.
I AM better.
I want to prove that I'm not here just because Josh Hudson trained me and pulled strings to get me a contract. That I'm not some young woman who's swimming in water too deep. I know what I'm capable of, and I'm going to put my best foot forward, keep my head on straight from now on, and do everything I can to prove that I can hang with this roster.
You might still beat me, Imanov. But I'm not gonna make it easy, which I'm sure is what you want. It's what all true competitors want, and I promise you right now that I am going to bring everything I have to this match. I don't really have anything to lose, I'm already at the bottom of the totem pole. But I do have a whole lot to gain, even if I don't win. Experience... confidence... and hopefully some respect, for the way that I will never back down or give up.
Everyone has to start somewhere, right? I guess I'm just starting again. See you at Breakdown, sir.
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Well. SCW hasn't quite gone my way lately, has it? I thought I was off to a good start with the wins over those local talents after my debut. But then I stepped in the ring with real SCW stars, contracted wrestlers. Cassidy Carter... loss. Yeah, it was by DQ cause someone ran in and messed with her, but I didn't get to finish it the way I wanted. Ridley Ellis. I don't even want to talk about that one, his manager said strange things to me over Twitter and I'd like to stay off their radar. Then there was Rise to Greatness weekend. The triple threat on the preshow where I joined Crystal Zdunich and Holly Adams. And got myself pinned by Holly. Not that there's anything to be ashamed of about that, Holly is an SCW legend and a new Hall of Fame member. But again... it wasn't what I wanted.
None of this is what I expected.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect to show up here and mow everyone down and be a champion already or anything ridiculous like that. I know I'm far to new, and probably too green for all that, despite my training. I guess I'm just disappointed in myself. I know I can do better. I know I AM better. I told Josh recently that maybe I made a mistake coming here so soon. He promptly told me I was being stupid. You guys probably know him better than I do, you know he's blunt like that. And on hearing it... I decided he was right. He wouldn't have gotten me into the door here if he didn't think I was ready. He wouldn't be in my corner, putting all of his career and reputation behind me if he didn't think I was good enough.
I realized that the problem isn't that I'm not good enough or that I don't deserve to be here. The problem has been in my head. I might be ready physically, have the talent and the strength to step up to anyone in the ring, but mentally?
I beat myself before I got in the ring. Or maybe even before I got into the arena.
The time off after Rise to Greatness though gave me time to reflect about all of this. Maybe my own feelings that I wasn't REALLY ready for this held me back. But I know what I need to do now. Josh helped me obviously, gave me his own version of a few pep talks, which are probably more accurately described as “tough love lectures.” But at the end of the day, I know that it all comes down to me. Josh might be in my corner in and out of the ring but Josh isn't fighting my matches for me. When the bell rings, I'm in there with my opponent all by myself.
And the only person who can make me believe I'm good enough, I belong here, and that I can win... is myself.
Imanov... sorry, I don't want to butcher your last name.... we'll meet in that ring this week. You're relatively new to SCW too, although not new to the business. From what I've heard, you have a lot more experience than I do, years. So has every other contracted wrestler I've faced so far. Maybe that's what got into my head. But I'm not gonna let that happen this week. Experience isn't the only thing that matters, it's not the only thing that determines who will win or lose. There are things like determination, motivation, heart. I don't know you from Adam but what I do know is that I'm tired of getting in my own way and I am determined to do better.
I AM better.
I want to prove that I'm not here just because Josh Hudson trained me and pulled strings to get me a contract. That I'm not some young woman who's swimming in water too deep. I know what I'm capable of, and I'm going to put my best foot forward, keep my head on straight from now on, and do everything I can to prove that I can hang with this roster.
You might still beat me, Imanov. But I'm not gonna make it easy, which I'm sure is what you want. It's what all true competitors want, and I promise you right now that I am going to bring everything I have to this match. I don't really have anything to lose, I'm already at the bottom of the totem pole. But I do have a whole lot to gain, even if I don't win. Experience... confidence... and hopefully some respect, for the way that I will never back down or give up.
Everyone has to start somewhere, right? I guess I'm just starting again. See you at Breakdown, sir.