11-25-2020, 12:57 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-25-2020, 12:58 AM by Jay Gold.
Edit Reason: Just making font size bigger. No changes.
)
OOC: Only posting a shoot. I have a lot of things to think about both in-character and MORE IMPORTANTLY out-of-character. Just too much uncertainty going on, ya know? 
THE TIME TRAVELER
Chapter 6: So Close, Yet So Far…
[It is extremely easy to not care when those around you must don’t care either. Case in point, my last opponent, Alioth Starre. He didn’t care for one second about SCW. He only cared about facing Datura. The moment he gets assigned to face someone else, he wants to up and leave. Now yes, he was able to get one over on me. And yes it does leave a bitter taste in my mouth. But in the end, he is the one that looks like the asshole. I know I’m hardly ever this blunt, but I can only take so much. I feel like… like doing exactly what I did a bit over a decade ago. When I lost a match to Chris Lawler it sent me spiraling to a place I thought I would never go. I lost faith in myself. I lost faith in the man that I was at the time. And now, I am really beginning to feel that way again.]
[Even though I find myself here in Rochester, which is only about three or so hours from home, no, I’m not going home. It would kill my daughter and my Martha to see me this way. The way I last looked at Ashley I could tell frightened her, so I immediately apologized. I don’t know if she accepted my apology or not, but right now she has chosen to go out on her own for a bit of a walk.]
[I hate that I did that to her. I hate that my look turned a budding friend away, but I think she understands. After all I did warn her about the wrestling business. It can make even the most innocent person turn ugly. I really really hope it doesn’t happen to Kelsai. It’s too late for me, but for her, she can do such great things. I saw it at Rise To Greatness. She doesn’t need to give in to temptation. She doesn’t need to give into The Dark Side. Which is why I know I must put my best face forward, even if I am not feeling at my best, which I’m not. I don’t want to be the one responsible for her doing something she will end up regretting. That said, I am willing to do anything that will keep her yearning to let love in. I’m almost 40. I need to control my emotions much better than I have been over the past few months. I’m better than this, and everybody knows it.]
[With Ashley gone for a while, I may as well just all of it to the world. This match tomorrow night against Kimberly and Jessica is a very dangerous proposition. Am I afraid of being stabbed by Kimberly? No. Am I scared of Jessica talking down upon high? Absolutely not. My fear is what I might do if things don’t go well.]
Jay:
“This is a very dangerous time, truly for all of us. I know we all just want the world to get back to normal, but really, what IS normal? I don’t think such an idea exists anymore. I really am to the brink of losing it, and not just because of COVID running wild once again in all corners of the globe.”
“No. I feel the same way I felt before attacking David Miller all those years ago. Frustration was building up inside me for not just weeks, but for a number of months back then. It wasn’t just the in-ring losses either. There was just way too much going on personally away from the ring too. Right now I fear it is far worse than it was, even back then. I have never felt so detached as I do right now. I don’t know if my run-in with Alioth has made me feel this way, but as I think about it more, that’s only a small piece. Having to deal with my own daughter having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder definitely crippled me, as it did my wife too. We want what is best for our daughter and we know she can function with ADHD, but it’s hampered her, heavily. Only her friend Kyle has been able to truly deal with it.”
“So, why am I saying all about this about my family and myself? It’s really quite simple. I am one step away from losing it. I am one step away from turning my back on everything that I have usually fought for. That is why I am begging you right now Kelsai. I wanted to be your tag team partner so I could inspire you to be the greatest you can be. I wanted to be your partner not for my own selfish reasons, but to help build you and SCW’s future up, not tear it down. Heaven forbid 75% of the roster is defacing what SCW used to be, and not in a good way. Please, I ask you, no you know what? I BEG you to help me now. Help me let love in, and then alongside Amy Chastaine, we will both do our best to help you succeed. If you don’t want to team with me tomorrow night, well, I don’t know what to do.”
“Trust me Kelsai, I already feel guilty about how Infamous injured you that night. I don’t want to have your blood on my hands. That was NOT my intention when I came back. I didn’t come back for drama. I didn’t come back to inflate my own ego. I came back to back the future of SCW, because my wife and daughter wanted me to. As I thought about it, I did realize that I didn’t like what SCW as becoming either. Unfortunately in Sasha’s image, I’ll say it quite simply, she is just not there yet. She knows and she’s learning. I want to help her and Owen and Aaron and you, but I just don’t know. I feel like I’m about to leap off a ledge… which is something far worse than Kimberly Williams or Jessica Lasiewicz could do to either of us. That’s why I address you and not them. They will do what they do, and Kim will probably want to go all stabby stabby on us, but it is what it is. They have shown they can’t hang here in SCW and have left multiple times for greener pastures… only to come back. Reminds me of many really. Alioth Starre will be another of those as he will want to come back just to face Datura yet again in one final shebang, before he fades away into the abyss, never to be heard from again.”
“I don’t know, maybe Kimberly and Jessica can prove me wrong on this. But I doubt it. They’ve had their moments, but so have I, and so have many others. Tomorrow night here in Rochester, there will NOT be a Golden Moment. What there will be is uncertainty. Afterward, depending on what goes down, maybe I will just go home… and let SCW’s future fail on its own.”
“I have a lot to think about. So Kelsai, I’m sorry. Love is not on my mind. The uncertain future is.”
THE TIME TRAVELER
Chapter 6: So Close, Yet So Far…
[It is extremely easy to not care when those around you must don’t care either. Case in point, my last opponent, Alioth Starre. He didn’t care for one second about SCW. He only cared about facing Datura. The moment he gets assigned to face someone else, he wants to up and leave. Now yes, he was able to get one over on me. And yes it does leave a bitter taste in my mouth. But in the end, he is the one that looks like the asshole. I know I’m hardly ever this blunt, but I can only take so much. I feel like… like doing exactly what I did a bit over a decade ago. When I lost a match to Chris Lawler it sent me spiraling to a place I thought I would never go. I lost faith in myself. I lost faith in the man that I was at the time. And now, I am really beginning to feel that way again.]
[Even though I find myself here in Rochester, which is only about three or so hours from home, no, I’m not going home. It would kill my daughter and my Martha to see me this way. The way I last looked at Ashley I could tell frightened her, so I immediately apologized. I don’t know if she accepted my apology or not, but right now she has chosen to go out on her own for a bit of a walk.]
[I hate that I did that to her. I hate that my look turned a budding friend away, but I think she understands. After all I did warn her about the wrestling business. It can make even the most innocent person turn ugly. I really really hope it doesn’t happen to Kelsai. It’s too late for me, but for her, she can do such great things. I saw it at Rise To Greatness. She doesn’t need to give in to temptation. She doesn’t need to give into The Dark Side. Which is why I know I must put my best face forward, even if I am not feeling at my best, which I’m not. I don’t want to be the one responsible for her doing something she will end up regretting. That said, I am willing to do anything that will keep her yearning to let love in. I’m almost 40. I need to control my emotions much better than I have been over the past few months. I’m better than this, and everybody knows it.]
[With Ashley gone for a while, I may as well just all of it to the world. This match tomorrow night against Kimberly and Jessica is a very dangerous proposition. Am I afraid of being stabbed by Kimberly? No. Am I scared of Jessica talking down upon high? Absolutely not. My fear is what I might do if things don’t go well.]
Jay:
“This is a very dangerous time, truly for all of us. I know we all just want the world to get back to normal, but really, what IS normal? I don’t think such an idea exists anymore. I really am to the brink of losing it, and not just because of COVID running wild once again in all corners of the globe.”
“No. I feel the same way I felt before attacking David Miller all those years ago. Frustration was building up inside me for not just weeks, but for a number of months back then. It wasn’t just the in-ring losses either. There was just way too much going on personally away from the ring too. Right now I fear it is far worse than it was, even back then. I have never felt so detached as I do right now. I don’t know if my run-in with Alioth has made me feel this way, but as I think about it more, that’s only a small piece. Having to deal with my own daughter having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder definitely crippled me, as it did my wife too. We want what is best for our daughter and we know she can function with ADHD, but it’s hampered her, heavily. Only her friend Kyle has been able to truly deal with it.”
“So, why am I saying all about this about my family and myself? It’s really quite simple. I am one step away from losing it. I am one step away from turning my back on everything that I have usually fought for. That is why I am begging you right now Kelsai. I wanted to be your tag team partner so I could inspire you to be the greatest you can be. I wanted to be your partner not for my own selfish reasons, but to help build you and SCW’s future up, not tear it down. Heaven forbid 75% of the roster is defacing what SCW used to be, and not in a good way. Please, I ask you, no you know what? I BEG you to help me now. Help me let love in, and then alongside Amy Chastaine, we will both do our best to help you succeed. If you don’t want to team with me tomorrow night, well, I don’t know what to do.”
“Trust me Kelsai, I already feel guilty about how Infamous injured you that night. I don’t want to have your blood on my hands. That was NOT my intention when I came back. I didn’t come back for drama. I didn’t come back to inflate my own ego. I came back to back the future of SCW, because my wife and daughter wanted me to. As I thought about it, I did realize that I didn’t like what SCW as becoming either. Unfortunately in Sasha’s image, I’ll say it quite simply, she is just not there yet. She knows and she’s learning. I want to help her and Owen and Aaron and you, but I just don’t know. I feel like I’m about to leap off a ledge… which is something far worse than Kimberly Williams or Jessica Lasiewicz could do to either of us. That’s why I address you and not them. They will do what they do, and Kim will probably want to go all stabby stabby on us, but it is what it is. They have shown they can’t hang here in SCW and have left multiple times for greener pastures… only to come back. Reminds me of many really. Alioth Starre will be another of those as he will want to come back just to face Datura yet again in one final shebang, before he fades away into the abyss, never to be heard from again.”
“I don’t know, maybe Kimberly and Jessica can prove me wrong on this. But I doubt it. They’ve had their moments, but so have I, and so have many others. Tomorrow night here in Rochester, there will NOT be a Golden Moment. What there will be is uncertainty. Afterward, depending on what goes down, maybe I will just go home… and let SCW’s future fail on its own.”
“I have a lot to think about. So Kelsai, I’m sorry. Love is not on my mind. The uncertain future is.”