Dark Fantasy vs. Frozen Hell

[SnowQueenSCW]

OOC: Posted in two parts due to length

The Dark Side of the Sun

”Stumbling Forward”

Breakdown
Little Caesars Arena
Detroit, Michigan
9:41pm

The actions of not only Xander Valentine, in what could only be described as a damned temper tantrum, but also of Dark Fantasy/Infamous was both a blessing and a curse in their own way – at least where Selena Frost is concerned. Yes, on the most obvious front, both the United States Champion (and future opponent of Selena’s sister-in-arms, Regan Street) and one of the greatest tag-teams/stables in SCW history had spoiled not only the tag-match the former tag-team champions had participated in, but upon winning said match, had ruined any chance for celebration by the Hellcat and Snow Queen – their existence within the Tag League, thankfully, still alive after defeating the Pychonaughts.

The rampage within their change room by Xander, followed by, for lack of a better word, ‘typical’ act by Infamous in an attempted backstage assault while everyone was distracted had certainly soured the mood for the members of Frozen Hell, their manager, Mikalea, and the World Champion, David Helms, leaving everyone either irritated, annoyed, or plainly pissed off.

Still, while Selena watched the officials drag the members of Infamous – Ravyn Taylor and Christy Matthews – who had attacked Mikalea and her away, a part of her was… grateful? Was that the word? No, it would – pardon the overused turn-of-phrase – be a cold day in hell the day she was ever ‘grateful’ to either Infamous or Xander Valentine.

Still, as she helped Mikaela up from the ground and ushered her back into the changeroom she and the Streets, she could not deny the relief these events had given her.

The fight with the Psychonaughts.
Dealing with Xander Valentine.
Supporting her sister-in-arms in her wrestling endeavours.
Dealing with cowardly attacks by Infamous for the umpteenth time - seriously, at this point, I should have frequent flyer miles or something- she quickly thought.
The tag-league itself and the fact that the stakes were getting higher and higher as they neared the inevitable end?

These were all issues in SCW that Selena could deal with, with her heart, her skills, her experience, etc. They were all tasks or obstacles that she knew she and Regan together as sisters-in-arms and has tag-partners could overcome.

And they distracted the Snow Queen from the reality that seemed to haunt her every thought when distractions were non-existent. 

Tick tock…tick tock… she could hear the seconds going by in her head, impossible to stop. If it were even possible for her to feel 5% more confident in the whirlwind of circumstances involving Regan, her mother, and her future as a wrestler, Selena would almost find it all ironic. That, for over a year and a half, she had wished for time to speed up to get her closer to Deanna’s freedom, closer to her and Regan being tag-team champions, and closer to her just having the life she missed once more. Now… all she wanted was to stop time. Freeze it in place so she could stay with Regan and continue to challenge and work within the tag-team divisions, or wherever they wanted to go together.

“Excuse me…” came the soft quiet voice, giving the platinum-blonde the barest of jolts through her spine, allowing her eyes to refocus as she scanned the room towards the voice. Standing just a few feet a way was one the SCW cameramen. Selena recognized him from as the one she had passed when she had rushed into the room with Mikalea to see Xander with Artemis standing down David Helms and Regan. In one hand, he held his tool of his trade – the rather bulky and heavy (by all appearances) camera. Beside him stood another SCW crew member, dressed similarly to the first individual. The only difference the Snow Queen could tell was that this man was shorter and was carrying no camera. Of course, the reasoning why became clear as Selena spotted the pieces/parts scattered all over the floor near the pair. 

“Sorry.” Selena’s mouth shook a little as she made sense of what had just happened. Quickly, her hands moved up to clasp together near her ribs. “Are you both okay?” she asked, her eyes etched with concern and a familiar hatred for Xander Valentine filling her. The two men nodded their heads in confirmation, but the camera-less man was a bit more vocal. 

“He destroyed my damn camera.” Came the mutter before he turned his head to look at his fellow crewmember. “Think Ms. Drach will ding me?”
“You kidding?” laughed the taller man as he clasped his friend on the back with his free hand. “You got assaulted by an SCW superstar! She’ll be more afraid of you suing!” he teased.
“Wha…I can do that?” 

Selena could now tell the shorter man was a more ‘recent hire’. And though she didn’t wish to come between what seemed to be a camaraderie of sorts between co-workers, she quietly cleared her throat.

“I don’t think you can.” She advised. “But I am sure Sasha would blame you for the camera.” She assured. “At the very least, you could have hazard pay tacked on.” She offered a shrug, trying to quell any ill tensions.

“Alright. Come on.” Urged the taller cameraman. “We gotta report this.” He added, quietly guiding his co-worker out as Selena moved out of the way. She kept her eyes on them until they were out of sight and the changeroom door had closed behind them (in front of her) with a click. Only then did she take a deep breath and turn around to face the carnage. 

The immediate presence of Ravyn and Christy – along with getting Xander out of the changeroom – had prevented her from truly taking in the damage dealt at the Executioner’s hands. The warped furniture, the pieces of camera nearby, the busted locker-room-

Her eyes widened as she saw her street clothes lying along the floor and over/under one of the flipped tossed tables… her eyes focused on the black laced underwear that was the most ‘exposed’ out of the mess. Her cheeks burning a little, she quickly marched towards the pile, grabbing the garment and just as quickly sought out and gathered her remaining clothes (least the ones she could find).

“I can’t believe this.” She whispered, unaware that her sister, Regan, who was tending to Mikalea had heard her. “I mean…what’s the point of all this? What does this prove?”

She knew it was beyond pointless to rationalize the logic of a man like Xander Valentine, but – for Selena – the state of the room, the carnage it represented, filled her with a near-dizzying sense of déjà vu.

There was no beating around the bush or sugar-coating the reality. When Xander had faced Frozen Hell at the End of the Year Special, he had been destroyed. Driven to desperation. Embarrassed. There were a slew of adjectives Selena could have used. And yet, had this not happened before? Had she not placed the Executioner in a similar state a year and a half ago when she had faced him at Rise to Greatness? And what had Xander done after that? In his rage and ‘deflated ego’? 

Casting her gaze towards Regan, the platinum-blonde offered the Hellcat a weak smile. “Least he didn’t attack fans this time.” She offered, earning a huff and a nod from her sister as Regan sat on the couch with Mikalea, continuing to dote on her as needed. Meanwhile, Selena spotted and gathered up her wrestling dufflebag in the far corner, emptying her armful of clothes into it. Lifting her head, her eyes caught sight of the World Champion David Helms, who had not left the room while all the chaos was breaking down. She had to give the man some credit. He had refused to back down from Xander, even in the Executioner’s ‘bitchy’ state. That spoke volumes to her.

“Here…” she offered as she saw the male wrestler of the year fixing one of the tables. She dropped her duffelbag to the floor gently and moved to the other side of the table. “I’ll help.” She added, taking the end of the table David was not to help him tip it back over and onto its legs.

It was at that moment that Helms decided to take a look around the room, taking stock again in the damage done, before casting his eyes back onto Selena. “You ought to see the bathroom.” He shook his head. “Damn…”

Perhaps it was his amusing look or his choice of words, but his remark instantly made Selena curious, the Snow Queen raising an eyebrow, leaning past him to gaze at the entrance to the bathroom (which was closer to Helms) and simply, with a skip in her initial step, made a beeline to the door-

She was not prepared to see the mess therein, or the fear that gripped her as she recognized the tossed items within said room. Sapphire eyes flew towards the metal box that was sitting on the shower floor, the joints/hinges of thinner metal warped by the impact. Surrounding it were pieces of broken plastic and glass, the contents of several of these were strewn along the wall and floor, creating a rather twisted and odd looking sight of ceramic and plastic painted with runny and powdery products meant for the face, not the wall.

All of that said, it was not the ‘crime-scene’ that alarmed Selena, but rather the box that lay on the shower floor. Through the open space provided, the shower curtain pulled to the side, she could see so many of her items broken and leaking within the box, filling it.

“Gods, no!” She gasped out, rushing into the shower space and quickly tossing out an remaining broken items, letting them fall from her hands to the floor. “Please no…please no…” she repeated under her breath, her fingers trying to work despite the anxiety that was gripping her being. The seconds that ticked by felt like hours as Selena desperately tried to remove any more leaking or broken items from the box. Finally, the task was done, but Selena was not finished, for, grabbing the now ‘empty’ box, she was rushed over to the sink, grabbing paper towels by the handful and pressing it into the spills of eyeliner and nail polish that painted the interior of the box, dabbing and pressing as quickly and harshly as she could. Part of her nerves – specifically the emotion of fear – she would later realize, probably kept her pressing the paper towel wad in her hand against the spills longer than necessary, but she would also admit that rational thought was not currently her friend in that moment.

When she was sure as much of the mess had been cleaned, she tossed the paper-towels into the nearby trash by the sink and, taking a deep breath, she moved her fingers towards the bottom of the box until her fingers felt the think black cloth at the bottom. With a silent prayer and a deep breath, she pulled the cloth up and away, noticing the different colors it, like the walls in the shower, now possessed. But as she dropped the cloth down to the floor, reaching back into the bottom, she felt her fingers touch the stiff paper and, gently and with baited breath, she pulled the folded item up and out of the box. 

The paper was tough – somewhere between an old letter and a flimsy piece of cardboard, and though it had a few splatters of nail polish as well, Selena could see that it was a far cry better than the wall or the rest of her effects.

“Thank Odin.” She whispered, pressing the folded paper to her heart before she began unfolding it, just to make sure…

***************************************

Frankfurt Prison III
Frankfurt, Germany
January 4th, 2021
3:54pm

She wished it was a week ago, maybe a day or so more. Around that time, she had been ignorant. She didn’t have to worry about the future of her sister or the impending doom of their tag-team from fate. No, all she had to worry about was the “possible doom” of her tag-team (which was a huge damn difference compared to ‘impending doom’, she now knew) at the hands of Xander Valentine. It was odd to think to think that someone as dangerous and brutal as Xander Valentine would be outclassed in terms of fear-inducing to something as microscopic as cancer. I mean, cancer was always scary – but, I mean the size difference. Something smaller than a fingernail is scarier than mean ol’ Xander.

A week ago, she would also have laughed at the comparison if someone else had made it (and it was not associated with her sister). She also would not have the eyes of the guards on her as she sat within the visitation room of the Frankfurt Prison. Not that she blamed them for doing their job and ensuring the safety of all visitors – part of her even wishing she could take a few of them back to the States with her so run guard against the jackasses of SCW (in this instance, Selena meant those that continued to attack others backstage in blind ambush… it was almost as if there was rarely security around when you needed them in arenas during Breakdown). Still, a week or so ago had been hers and Deanna’s month conjugal visit, falling just a few days after Christmas. What’s more, it had also been their five-year anniversary of marriage.

For a moment, Selena felt her eyes grow misty at the memory. The two had celebrated the events – Christmas/Yuletide/Selena’s birthday/their anniversary – during the prison Christmas party but also the following Monday, where they were able to do so in the comfort of each other’s arms, as lovers could do. For the Snow Queen, it was…

A sigh escaped Selena. It had been everything she truly needed. The heat of passion, the soft touch of love and understanding, and, yes, even moments of cathartic crying of what they had lost together. A slew of emotions that had left them drained but happy and grateful for one another. It had given Selena the clarity she had needed to come back to the States and be…be… be her.

It was odd, but facing Xander, she had felt both empowered, perhaps moreso than ever, to be Regan’s tag-team partner and sister, but it had been so long since she had felt like Selena Frost “The Face of SCW” or even Selena Frost “The Snow Queen”. Regan was always Regan. Always the Hellcat, always fighting back. Always kicking ass… 

But Selena had not felt that way. She loved her sister. Loved her more than she could possibly put into words. But, as 2020 had unfolded and the two sisters-in-arms had begun their quest for the tag-team titles, the young woman had felt herself sort of fade away a little, becoming “Regan’s tag-partner” instead of her own woman. Even becoming the United States Champion again, a personal victory for Selena, had felt overshadowed by the quest of Frozen Hell. 

It had been necessary. Regan, more than anyone, deserved to be a Supreme Champion! Deserved to have a triumphant moment at Rise to Greatness that she could hold as a career highlight! Selena had no regrets in their journey, even to this point in time – but gods how amazing it had felt to feel like herself again. To drive that boot straight into the skull of Xander, like she had during their battle at Rise to Greatness – where she had cemented her status of possessing one of the most dangerous moves in SCW! A move that Sienna Swann had cowardly tried to get banned from SCW forever. 

The Snow Queen – The Face of SCW – had been dangerous, a force that even Xander Valentine envied, and capable of anything within the world of Supreme Championship Wrestling. It had felt good to feel that way again thanks to Deanna and Regan, and part of Selena wondered if she’d, and longed for the chance to, feel that way ever again.

Of course, that had been a week ago. It had only taken as many days for reality to lock her back into the realm of “Shadow of SCW”, as Xander had elegantly put it, showing her just how powerless she still was in this world. And now, when all she wanted to do was go back to the private room within the prison, into the loving arms of her wife, she was, as always, powerless to do so, confined by the rules of the prison her wife occupied.

“You’re far away again.” Came the soft voice and she felt her hands being squeezed ever so gently. Drawing her face up and her eyes forward, she gazed into the emerald orbs of her beautiful wife. The younger redhead merely added a smile, lifting Selena’s hands up with her own to press her lips to the pale, soft skin.

“I’m okay.” Selena watched her. “I’m just…” she sighed, shaking her head a little as she savoured her wife’s soft kisses on her knuckles and fingers. “I’m worried about you, and Regan, and Giselle-“

Obviously, she had confided in Deanna – perhaps the only person that knew more about Selena than Regan did – about the sudden change in situation that had come from Regan’s confession a few nights ago and Selena’s subsequent leaving for Germany immediately following the New Year’s celebration.

“Thinking about what you’ll say to her when you return?” the redhead broke into Selena’s thoughts.
“I…I don’t even know what I could say.” Selena sighed. Gunther’s words had already broken through to her, forcing her to realize the horrible mistake she had made. “I abandoned her.” She whispered. “I ran away because I was afraid of feeling so powerless again – that I couldn’t help her, like I can’t help you.”

She felt another soft kiss on her knuckles, sapphire eyes recatching emerald ones.

“You do help me.” Assured Deanna with a gentle smile as the two sat there at the table opposite each other. 

It made Selena scoff a little in disbelief, the young woman’s eyes taking in Deanna’s blue prison-uniform and makeup-less face, a stark contrast to the showered, slightly perfumed skin, and maroon sweater dress she wore with leggings and black boots. 

“Why do you scoff like that?” Deanna asked, a bit of hurt in her voice.
“Because aside from being here to visit you and…” Selena looked around a little before lowering her voice. “Make love to you.” She whispered to her wife. “What good do I do?”

“You give me peace of mind.” Deanna pressed, grasping Selena’s hands. “I don’t have to worry about our children because I know you are protecting them. I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’ll ever be alone because you’re always here with me. I…” she paused a little, her expression reflective for a few moments as Selena’s had been – the Snow Queen wondering what it was Deanna was remembering. Unlike Selena, however, Deanna was able to still speak as she reminisced. “I don’t feel so broken – even though I know I am.” She jerked her head back to reality, offering her wife a quick smile. “Damaged goods and all.”

It was Selena’s turn to squeeze Deanna’s hands with her own. “You’re anything but.” She stated sharply, though she knew it would not convince Deanna. What Deanna had suffered from at the hands of Queenie, even though it was a thing of the past – they had left scars. Scars that Selena knew would never truly heal, no matter how much she tried and tried. 

“You remind me-“ Deanna sighed. “That I can still be loved no matter what I’ve done or what’s happened.” She finished, leaning back over to press a fuller, harder kiss on Selena’s hand, which the platinum-blonde responded as well, leaning forward to meet her wife and press her pale lips to the redhead’s forehead. 

“Maybe I love you.” She whispered into the skin.
“Maybe I love you.” Came the quiet reply, breathed onto Selena’s pale hands. A second later, the younger Deanna huffed a quick exhale of breath before sitting up straight, releasing Selena’s hands so she could clap her own. “Okay, so what’s your plan with Regan?”

“I don’t know.” Selena repeated with frustration. “I mean, I know I’ll apologize and try to explain, but will that be enough?” she asked.
“It’s a good start.” Deanna assured. “Making sure she knows you’re going to be there for her.”
“Except we still have two matches for the Tag League. And neither are exactly a walk in the park.”

“So?” the redhead raised an eyebrow, unclear of where her wife’s logic was headed.
“So, she and I are one loss away from elimination – hell, if we tie, we’re out. How can I apologize, tell her I’ll be there for her and then we lose and get eliminated?”

“That’s not something you can control…” Deanna tried, only for Selena to grown, the older woman running her hands through her free waves of platinum-blonde hair.

“I hate hearing that.” Selena groaned. “It’s my fault we’re even in this predicament!” she added.
“How is it-“
“Because I was the one that was pinned!” interjected the Snow Queen. “I’m the one that got pinned at Last Laugh. I’m the one that cost us the World Tag Team titles and our one loss in this tournament! If I hadn’t failed Regan then, we’d still be tag champions – hell, we’d be IN the semi-finals for sure!”

She exhaled a little through her nose. “The old me would never have failed like that.” She whispered under the little breath she had left.

“The old you?” Deanna asked, picking up Selena’s quiet remark, causing Selena to look up to regard her beloved, giving a quiet, small nod of the head.

“The old me.” Selena repeated. “The person that knocked out Xander in one of the shortest matches in RTG history. The person that won two tournaments in a row in one year. The person that managed to wrestle a 60 minute ironwoman match on a busted leg. The person that beat Xander in a Last Person-“

“I get it.” Deanna quietly halted Selena’s list.

“I was…” Selena bit her lower lip. “I don’t know what I was back then, but it’s not this. Not what I am now. All I seem to do is fail on my own – I come up short and need Regan to save me in matches or I lose any match I’m in by myself, or…. Ahhh!” she growled, dropping her head into a waiting hand, pale fingers reaching up to massage her temple. Deanna, knowingly, remained silent, sure that there was more that her wife needed to say.

“I…” Selena breathed. “Regan and I have an experience edge in our first match. But in our second? We’re the rookies.”
“Who’s the opponents?” Deanna asked, though grew worried when Selena did not answer right away.

“Dark Fantasy.”
“Oh gods.” Deanna sighed. Though she had not been involved in SCW in any way for over a year, she could still easily remember the people that had been problematic through Selena’s career. Infamous – especially Ravyn and Christy Matthews – were near the top of that list.

Selena, meanwhile, kept her eyes on the table before her. “I’m not even sure we can get past Jordan and Cookie.” She admitted. The tag-team of the Psychonaughts, formed through this Tag League that filled the months of SCW episodes and Pay-Per-Views, had been – to put has truly as possible – on fire with defeating every team that came before it, including Dark Fantasy. Momentum, alone belonged to them, but even if she and Regan could get past them, that still left Ravyn and Syren…

And Christy Matthews…
And Holly Addams…
And Alexander Crowe…
And CHBK…

“What?” Deanna asked, reaching a hand over to trail her fingers over Selena’s cheek, regaining the woman’s attention.
“What?”
“You said, ‘Christy Matthews, Holly Addams, Alexander Crowe and CHBK’ under your breath.”
“Oh…” Selena’s eyes widened. “Was that out loud?”
“Kind of.” Deanna shrugged, sitting back in her chair.

“Oh.” Selena sighed. “Nevermind, just typical SCW/Syren tactics.”
“You’re worried about THAT many people getting involved?” Deanna’s eyes widened, though not as much as Selena’s did at her wife’s easy translation of Selena’s cryptic words. The redhead shook her head. “I’m not an idiot, Selena.” She chastised the platinum-blonde. “I’ve followed enough of your business to know what ‘Syren tactics’ are, okay?”

“Fine.” Selena huffed. “Yes, I’m worried. Last time I faced an Infamous member, it became two on one in a tournament final. The time before that, it was one of them being the guest referee and she got to use cables! I’ve lost count how many times they’ve bent or flat-out broke the rules- and it’s fine if it was just me but…” she had to laugh angrily at herself a little. “But again… I lose, I fail Regan.”

“You need to stop thinking this way!” Deanna implored.

“I can’t.” Selena shook her head, wrapping her arms around herself. “All I can think about is that Frozen Hell is going to end, no matter what I do.” She pushed herself out of her chair, trying not to make any noise so she could pass around the table, not caring that the guard was keeping a more thorough eye of observation on her. “And Gunther was right – about all things needing to end but…”

“Are you afraid you’re going to lose your sister?” Deanna asked, staying in her seat (to move up would be to turn the ‘observing’ guard into an ‘inquiring’ guard).

“I’m afraid that I’m going to lose EVERYTHING.” 

The statement came out without Selena meaning to release it, as if it was manifested deep within her soul, only to burst out like a firework. It stunned Selena to silence for a moment, her mind trying to process what such a statement meant, following it as best as she could.

“I researched the procedure. There is a risk to her career but very little risk to her life – almost none.” Selena stated. “My heart is thankful for that. I will always have Regan, even if it’s just me visiting her like I visit you-“
“I hope not!” Deanna laughed. “Unless there’s something you want to tell me.”

“What?” Selena turned her head, confusion etched into her features, until she saw the playful expression of Deanna, the redhead sticking her tongue out between her teeth. “Oh gods, no! Not like that!” Selena realized and assured. “She’s my sister, Deanna!” 

“It was okay for the Egyptians.” Deanna, nonchalantly, shrugged her shoulders. “And they say the greatest enemies make the best bedfellows.”
“Who?!” Selena challenged. “Who said that?”

The redhead looked away towards the ceiling for a moment, as if in thought. “I may have paraphrased a little.”
“I think you mean ‘adversity makes strange bedfellows’.” Selena guessed. “And it doesn’t mean literal bedfellows.”

“I know.” Deanna shrugged. “But I’m having fun.”
“Oh well thank Odin for that!” Selena huffed, unable to stop the smile from escaping her and forming upon her face. “You’re such a dork.”
“Yep.” Deanna smiled proudly. “Your dork. Hee hee.”

She tilted her head up, showing a full smile of teeth towards her beloved wife, causing Selena, who had stopped pacing, to shake her head good-naturedly. “Sorry.” Deanna finally said. “I was interrupting. You were going on about SCW.” Her voice trailed as she gestured towards Selena with her hand. “Please continue.”

“I…” Selena stopped for a moment before suddenly laughing a breathy chuckle. “I honestly have forgotten what I was going to say.”

“You’re afraid you might lose everything.” Deanna stated, her smile dropping a little as her gaze become more focused, concerned for her minx.

Selena pursed her lips together as she nodded her head in recollection. “Right…” her voice trailed off as she looked away.
“Which confuses me.” Deanna admitted. “You know, even if Regan has to leave SCW, you’ll still be part of her life and she part of yours.” She held a hand over her heart. “And you’ll always have me, our children…”

“That’s not what I mean, Deanna.” Sighed the young woman sadly as she returned to her sit on the other side of the table. “I’m afraid of losing every part of me that’s me.”

She knew Deanna wouldn’t understand her, so she took a deep breath before explaining. “My life is surrounded by so many wonderful things, despite the crap that’s happened. You, of course-“ she took the time to reach out and take one of her wife’s hands into hers at that moment. “The children, our friends… but that’s all what my life is. You are my life, same with Elsa and David and Ami. Regan is part of my life, same with the few friends I have in SCW…

Deanna felt her hand being squeezed though Selena had since looked away from her wife to study their hands. “But you take that away… all of it, all the love, relations, and that… what’s left?”. A quiet second of silence. “What is left that is Selena Frost?”

Again, Deanna remained silent, merely keeping her gaze locked on her wife as the wrestler continued to speak.

“Over a year ago, I was sure of what that was. Being a wrestler. ‘The Face of SCW’. Before that? I was ‘The Snow Queen’ and ‘The Crazy Miner’s Daughter’. Despite the past, good and bad, I’ve never once doubted who I am. From my hair-“ Deanna’s eyes twitched to Selena’s platinum locks before locking back onto her still speaking beloved. “To my beliefs – everything screamed to me ‘This is who I am’.”

A moment came and went where Deanna could only hear the inhale and exhale of her wife’s breathing.

“But at some point…” Selena’s voice became slower, as if unsure if she was using the right words. “At some point, I stopped feeling that. I stopped feeling so sure of who I was and what I was. I felt detached a little. I felt like, more but also less. I was your doting wife, waiting for you to get out of prison. I was Regan’s sister, helping her get the tag titles. I still felt love and felt loved – that never changed… but I… geez why is this so hard to explain?” she sighed, using her free hand to rub her jaw.

“Take your time…” Deanna whispered, squeezing Selena’s hand patiently, hearing the platinum-blonde take a deep breath again.

“I know I’m on borrowed time with Regan. It’s going to end at some point. I know I need to apologize to her for running off when I get back to the States this week… but what happens when it happens? I mean, say Frozen Hell moves on and Regan can still wrestle? She’s got a United States title match with Xander Valentine next month. She’s got goals and aims for the world title and Rise to Greatness and winning Taking Hold of the Flame. Tag wrestler or not, she’s never lost a step in who she is as a person…” Quietly, Selena shrugged her shoulders. “Where do I go? What happens to me?”

There was really only one word to describe what Deanna saw in her wife’s eyes when Selena asked those two questions: lost. Her beloved was lost in uncertainty – it was radiating off her in waves. Regan’s confession to Selena had driven the inevitable ‘end’ of their tag-team from ‘futuristic’ to ‘immediate’, leaving her minx with the questions she couldn’t find the answers to.

“What do you want?” the redhead tried to guide. “Do you want to go for a title? Maybe you could headline Rise to Greatness?”
Selena shook her head. “I don’t know. That’s the problem.” Selena sighed. “I don’t know what I want. For the past year, the only thing that mattered to me in a world where it was just me was Regan. Her health, her safety, her goals and dreams. I was fighting her battles and enemies – not necessarily my own… they just became my enemies because they were hurting my sister. But everything that I was for the past year… it was always tied and associated to her in some way.”

It was beyond clear to Selena. Even winning the United States title. All her opponents, throughout the tournament, had simply related Selena’s journey not to herself, but how she was ‘casting Regan aside’, as if that was even a notion. Even when she won, it wasn’t “she won’t last long” as some of her detractors would go, but rather how “She’s forsaking her partner” or “forsaking the title for more titles”. Always tied, in some way to Regan, never just being her own choice. Her own decisions.

“I never considered what I wanted ‘when I was back on my own’.” Selena sighed. “Now? With the end looming as a possibility after every damn match I wrestle, I still can’t figure it out.”

It was a terrifying notion to Selena, to be without a sure sense of identity. Xander had referred to her as “The Shadow of SCW” – an image fallen and forgotten, something she knew Infamous, at least, would take a stab at should they face (Cookie and Jordan were far too respectful for that). The problem was, Selena couldn’t flat out refute it.

Could she be World Champion again, too? Not if her match with Xander Valentine a few months ago was any indication of her singles wrestling ability. Hell, Selena couldn’t recall the last time she had won a singles match, losing to the likes of Xander, Glory Braddock, and even having her singles match with Maria Salvatoria being removed from the match list moments before the show started on an episode of Breakdown.

That had been more painful blow to Selena than she was willing to admit. On paper, the match meant nothing – a pairing of wrestlers to reflect the Tag League (or what might have been as Maria and her partner had withdrawn from the tournament before she and Regan could face them) – a filler match for the entertainment of the fans (which was always wonderful for Selena to do). But the staff had felt there wasn’t enough time for all the matches and had chosen to remove hers.

Remove her from the show, beyond segments. As if seeing “Selena Frost in singles action” wasn’t the crowd-draw it had been or something…

Was she only worth something now if she paired with Regan? Was she only a ‘draw’ or worth ‘consideration’ if it was ‘Frozen Hell’ related? If there was no ending in sight… Selena could have lived with that. Why not? Being her sister’s partner and redefining the tag division would have been amazing and worthwhile for a career, given all she had already done. But an end WAS in sight, even if they still couldn’t tell how far away it was. And again, as Selena’s mind circled back to the inevitable fact burning within her:

“I don’t know who Selena Frost is now.” The confession came out as a sigh. “I only know how to be Deanna’s wife, Regan’s sister and partner – I only know how to belong to someone else.”

It was a realization, and with it a feeling, she had not felt since she had awoken in that hospital all those years ago after Rise to Greatness 2014 – a night that she had to be carried out with help from officials after taking a beating from several other teams, including Requiem and the dangerous Rachel Tatum Lee. She had awoken in the hospital with a letter from her then girlfriend/tag partner, Dawn Lohan, effectively breaking up with her both professionally and personally. True, Selena had been more heartbroken over the personal aspect of Dawn dumping her, but with it came the inevitable “what do I do know? Where do I go now?”

But back then was different. Six years ago, Selena had been the Adrenaline Champion at the time, allowing her to hide behind the aspect of ‘being a champion’ until she could figure out who she was – simply defending the title as she needed. 

She didn’t have a title to hide behind now. She didn’t have a championship to simply defend as a focus. She had nothing in SCW besides her name, which had seemed to have lost its credibility as a singles wrestler, and that was it-

“I may have something that could help…”

The voice was quiet but endearing, yet held a hint of uncertainty and - was it nervousness? What could she possibly have to be worried about? Selena asked herself – surprised enough by her wife’s expression to have her attention entirely on Deanna – and questioned if maybe she had just imagined it. However, as her beloved slowly reached into the front pocket on her prison uniform, the platinum-blonde saw the hand shake ever so slightly during its journey, eventually withdrawing a thick, folded up piece of paper.

“Remember you told me about that bet that you and Regan were having? About the Tag League?”

Despite herself, Selena could not help rolling her eyes at the memory. “Yes. IF we win, and, right now, that’s a huge IF.”
“Yeah, but you still could.” Deanna tried. “And during Christmas, you told me that Regan had suggested getting tattoos?”
“Well…” Selena shuddered as she recalled. “She first suggested we dye my hair or shave off half of it.”

“What did you say?” Deanna raised an eyebrow, very much desiring an answer to that question.
“I said I’d shave half my head the second she shaves all of hers and her eyebrows and wrestles the next year in that Gopher costume that was running around SCW for a few months.”

It wasn’t the wittiest answer, but Deanna giggled a little anyway before gently handing the folded paper to her wife. “I thought, maybe, you could do this.”

Just as gently, perhaps more afraid that she was destroy so fragile a gift, Selena took the paper from Deanna. “What did you do?”
“Unfold it.” Deanna shrugged nervously. “But please be nice.”

Narrowing her eyes and adding a smile to match her curiosity, Selena slowly stared at the paper in her hand, as her long, thin fingers gently unfolded it… and she gasped at the image that emerged before her…
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