10-16-2018, 02:24 PM
(OOC: The following CD has been translated from Italian.)
Florence, Italy
Apartment of Sabrina and Sofia Bello
5/1/2012
7:26 AM
Sabrina is sitting at the dining room table with her breakfast plate fully untouched. She just stares down at it looking as though she is actually scared to eat it. It is a plate of fried eggs and bacon, one of her favorite breakfast dishes that her mother likes to cook. Ever since her mother started watching cooking shows on Netflix, she has had a lot of fun experimenting with many non-traditional dishes for her daughter to try. She knows that Sabrina has long dreamed of moving to America, but due to the high improbability of that ever happening, the least Sofia can do is provide her traditional American meals from time to time. She stands at the kitchen sink now and sees that her daughter actually seems to be afraid of her food so she walks over and takes a seat next to her at the table.
Sofia: So, would you like to tell me what is bothering you this morning? It is certainly not like you to not even touch your breakfast. The bacon is even cooked a little extra crispy as you prefer.
Sabrina: I am not hungry.
Sofia: Since when are you not hungry for breakfast?
Sabrina: Since I found out that nobody wants to go to the Senior Prom with me.
Sofia was afraid of this. Her daughter has always been a bit more shy than one might think given how stunningly beautiful she is. Sabrina has had a rough senior year in high school as she has come to the realization that the one friend she is close with, Emma, is going to be heading off to college in the summer and she will have no one left who she feels close to. Ever since goddamn Giorgio left all those years ago, she has had a problem letting anybody get close to her. To complicate matters, she has her suspicions that Sabrina might actually be gay.
Sofia: I am sure if you would only ask someone, they would love to go with you. The prom is what, about a month away? I cannot imagine that everybody has a date already.
Sabrina: You just do not understand, Mom.
Sofia: What do I not understand? You are very shy, I understand, but any boy would be blessed to have you as their date.
Sabrina grows somehow even more silent and retreats further back inside of her own head. Sofia is somewhat uncertain about how to proceed as she has never seen her daughter quite this bad before.
Sofia: Maybe I do not understand, but I do understand that if you do not eat your breakfast, you will be starving at school. So can you please just eat up before it gets too cold? You know bacon and eggs are only good when they are fresh.
Sabrina reluctantly and slowly picks up a slice of bacon and takes a bite.
Sofia: Look, Sabrina, I understand that this a very tough time for you. Your best friend is leaving--
Sabrina: Only friend! Emma is my only friend!
It was not until recently to Sofia that maybe Emma is more than just a friend to Sabrina, at least in Sabrina’s mind anyway.
Sofia: Do you have something you would like to tell me? You know that you can tell me anything, right?
Sabrina bites her lip and it seems like she definitely has something she would like to say, but is far too apprehensive about it to spill the beans. Sofia suspected it would not be so easy as it never is with her daughter. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Sofia: Since you are not going to tell me, I will tell you what I think. I think that any boy at school you ask would be honored to go to the Prom with you.
Sabrina: With my tiny breasts and big ass? Yeah, the boys are not exactly looking my way, mom! Emma, on the other hand? It seems like every boy in our class has asked her to be their date!
Sofia: You are gorgeous, Sabrina! Where is all of this coming from?!
Sabrina: I am not gorgeous, mom! Emma is far more beautiful than I am! Have you seen her!? She is like supermodel hot! Besides, all of the boys in my class are a bunch of stupid assholes! I do not even want to ask any of them!
Sofia: There is no law saying you have to go to the Senior Prom, you know? Maybe we could just say screw them all and go out to a movie and maybe go to Trattoria Mario?
There is so much Sabrina would like to tell her mother, but she does not feel like she would understand. How can she explain that is in love with Emma, but that the love is not mutual? All she wants is to tell Emma how she really feels about her, to just give her a kiss and see how it feels. Instead, Sabrina is stuck in limbo as she is afraid to tell her mother what is on her mind and afraid to tell Emma due to the possibility of Emma being grossed out and wanting nothing to do with her. If there is one thing that Sabrina simply could not bear, it not even being friends with Emma. Of course, Emma is going to be far away at college very soon anyway, so why not share her feelings? Sabrina decides to tell her mother a small lie to get her to leave her alone for now.
Sabrina: Mom, it is fine. I will be okay. I just really do not feel like eating bacon this morning. Maybe just give me one of those croissants over there to get something in my stomach.
Bacon is perhaps the thing that Sabrina likes to eat the most, but she would rather lie to her mother about her love of bacon than tell her the truth. She has no idea how her mother would respond. And given that her mother is the only family she has, she can not afford to ruin their relationship. She has not even had the chance to experiment and discover whether she truly is homosexual or not. It really could be a simple matter of every single boy she had ever met is just not appealing. The thing is, without even getting the chance to kiss a girl, the only potential possibility at this point being Emma, she will not feel the slightest bit comfortable sharing those feelings with her mother.
Sofia: I really do wish that you would share with me whatever is going on in that head of yours. Whatever it is, I promise I will do whatever I can to support you. After all, we are really all each other have at this point.
Sabrina: I appreciate that, Mom, I really do. And I promise that everything will be fine.
How can she say that, when she has no idea if there is a lick of truth to any of it? Sabrina knows that her mother has been feeling rather ill lately and does not want to put any extra stress on her. She tries to hide it, but Sabrina knows that her mother is hiding something from her. So it goes in the Bello household, though. Both are keeping secrets from the other.
"Alone again. Perhaps that has always been my destiny, huh? Not to sound too, uh, emo about it, but the only person in my life who ever loved me unconditionally was my late mother. My father certainly never cared one way or another for me. I do not have any siblings. I am in my mid 20’s and I have only ever had a kind of, sort of serious relationship one time. Ironic, is it not, that I am labeled a whore when I have only ever been intimate with one person in my entire life?"
Sabrina lets out half a laugh at the irony of it. Just because a woman posts sexy pictures on the internet, she is instantly an STD-ridden whore. That could not be any further from the truth, however.
"So yes, now with the departure of Mika and to a lesser extent, Celeste and Violet, to Supreme Championship Wrestling, I find myself completely and utterly alone. Celeste and Violet are much, much better wrestlers than me, so I completely understand why Mika would want to take them with her, but are they not just tools to Mika as well? Celeste has already sort of figured that out, right?"
Sabrina shrugs and sighs heavily.
"I am sure her and Violet will be just fine no matter what happens in SCW and I wish them both well. As for Mika? Look, she clearly played me for a fool and I can live with that. It is what it is, right? She had me under her spell and at the end of the day she gave me an opportunity to ascend to SCW with her, but I failed to do so. As it turns out, however, that really is a mixed blessing as I never have harbored any great desire to destroy Emerge. I have my issues with Danny Darko and I really felt like it would be fun to raise a little hell, but it turns out that the only thing I wound up with was an empty feeling. It could be said that I sold my soul to Mika and I am precisely where I deserve."
She actually smiles a little bit now as her mood strangely brightens a bit. Certainly not what you would expect.
"While it was fun to kind of go along for the ride, to see where all of that mischief was heading, to be a part of something naughty, it ultimately was nothing more than a temporary high. You know, kind of lot a cup of coffee or sugar. For a short while I felt like I was at the top of the world, that I could do no wrong, but it was all nothing but a false illusion. I was under the spell of Mika and I felt like she chose me because she believed in me. I felt as though there must be something special about me since she told me I was. It is almost as if that was a psychological version of The Killing Joke she utilized against me. She clouded my mind and I lost track of several things in my life that used to be very important to me. One of those things is that just because I believe that I am superior to those I step into the ring with, I actually have to earn each and every victory. Does it matter in the end if I feel like I am better than someone like Mya Denton if I fail to earn a win each and every single time I step into the squared circle?"
Sabrina pauses for a good while just letting the emotion poor out of her now. For perhaps the first time in a while, she is being honest with herself.
"NO!!! I am better than nobody if I believe I am going to step in there and give anything less than 110% I am better than nobody! And THAT is the mindset that I have to have right now if I am going to turn all of this around! Jennifer Helms is the Spirit Champion! Her second match and she already has a championship to her name! How terrible does that make me look, right? I have have at this for a few years now and I have yet to win a single championship belt. The whole of the Emerge roster has every reason to believe I am a ridiculously bad wrestler. How about the irony of someone calling themself unbreakable, only to suffer a broken ankle that kept them out for half a year? I am fully aware that this is pretty much rock bottom for me right now, but sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you realize what needs to be done!"
There is certainly a more renewed energy about Sabrina now and her body english is great. She appears to be feeling much more confident and sure about herself.
"And what needs to be done at Emerge 14, is I need to step into that ring and beat the ever loving shit out of Lilith Evans, Kaito, and Miss Misato! I have already talked at length about Miss Misato, so I will not waste any more time talking about that weirdo. And Lilith Evans? She is a known commodity, is she not? She is kind of in the same boat as Mya Denton in that she can be certainly be dangerous, but if you are ready for what they have to offer, you can definitely overcome it. I know who you are, Lilith. And I respect you just about as much you deserve. Especially in a four way match, I know you are more than capable of taking advantage of any situation.
The person I see as the true threat to me here is Kaito. This dude is one hell of a talented fucker. I have watched a lot of video of him in action and there is certainly greatness and an SCW contact in his future. Just like Jenni Helms, he has a very talented mentor. So, much like her, I am expecting him to be far more ahead of the curve than one might normally expect. He is rather mysterious and seems to be a bit insane from what I gather, which always makes someone far more dangerous than those who are a little more in touch with their sanity. I will do my best to be ready for anything he throws at me!"
Sabrina nods her head vigorously up and down, continuing on with a much higher level on intensity.
"Alone again. Yes, I am. But it is when I am alone that I finally remember who the fuck I am. I am not a tool to be used and casually disregarded and discarded. I am not some lovesick girl, always falling in love with women that never reciprocate my feelings. I am not a bottom-dwelling, loss-eating, self-doubting little girl. No, I am the woman who survived her father leaving when she was only 7 years old, the woman that survived her mother dying when she was only 18 years old, and the woman who has survived being alone almost every single goddamn day of my life!!! I have survived all of that and starting today, I will begin to thrive! No more wallowing in the depths! It is time to turn this motherfucker around! And I will do it all. By. Myself."
Florence, Italy
Apartment of Sabrina and Sofia Bello
5/1/2012
7:26 AM
Sabrina is sitting at the dining room table with her breakfast plate fully untouched. She just stares down at it looking as though she is actually scared to eat it. It is a plate of fried eggs and bacon, one of her favorite breakfast dishes that her mother likes to cook. Ever since her mother started watching cooking shows on Netflix, she has had a lot of fun experimenting with many non-traditional dishes for her daughter to try. She knows that Sabrina has long dreamed of moving to America, but due to the high improbability of that ever happening, the least Sofia can do is provide her traditional American meals from time to time. She stands at the kitchen sink now and sees that her daughter actually seems to be afraid of her food so she walks over and takes a seat next to her at the table.
Sofia: So, would you like to tell me what is bothering you this morning? It is certainly not like you to not even touch your breakfast. The bacon is even cooked a little extra crispy as you prefer.
Sabrina: I am not hungry.
Sofia: Since when are you not hungry for breakfast?
Sabrina: Since I found out that nobody wants to go to the Senior Prom with me.
Sofia was afraid of this. Her daughter has always been a bit more shy than one might think given how stunningly beautiful she is. Sabrina has had a rough senior year in high school as she has come to the realization that the one friend she is close with, Emma, is going to be heading off to college in the summer and she will have no one left who she feels close to. Ever since goddamn Giorgio left all those years ago, she has had a problem letting anybody get close to her. To complicate matters, she has her suspicions that Sabrina might actually be gay.
Sofia: I am sure if you would only ask someone, they would love to go with you. The prom is what, about a month away? I cannot imagine that everybody has a date already.
Sabrina: You just do not understand, Mom.
Sofia: What do I not understand? You are very shy, I understand, but any boy would be blessed to have you as their date.
Sabrina grows somehow even more silent and retreats further back inside of her own head. Sofia is somewhat uncertain about how to proceed as she has never seen her daughter quite this bad before.
Sofia: Maybe I do not understand, but I do understand that if you do not eat your breakfast, you will be starving at school. So can you please just eat up before it gets too cold? You know bacon and eggs are only good when they are fresh.
Sabrina reluctantly and slowly picks up a slice of bacon and takes a bite.
Sofia: Look, Sabrina, I understand that this a very tough time for you. Your best friend is leaving--
Sabrina: Only friend! Emma is my only friend!
It was not until recently to Sofia that maybe Emma is more than just a friend to Sabrina, at least in Sabrina’s mind anyway.
Sofia: Do you have something you would like to tell me? You know that you can tell me anything, right?
Sabrina bites her lip and it seems like she definitely has something she would like to say, but is far too apprehensive about it to spill the beans. Sofia suspected it would not be so easy as it never is with her daughter. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Sofia: Since you are not going to tell me, I will tell you what I think. I think that any boy at school you ask would be honored to go to the Prom with you.
Sabrina: With my tiny breasts and big ass? Yeah, the boys are not exactly looking my way, mom! Emma, on the other hand? It seems like every boy in our class has asked her to be their date!
Sofia: You are gorgeous, Sabrina! Where is all of this coming from?!
Sabrina: I am not gorgeous, mom! Emma is far more beautiful than I am! Have you seen her!? She is like supermodel hot! Besides, all of the boys in my class are a bunch of stupid assholes! I do not even want to ask any of them!
Sofia: There is no law saying you have to go to the Senior Prom, you know? Maybe we could just say screw them all and go out to a movie and maybe go to Trattoria Mario?
There is so much Sabrina would like to tell her mother, but she does not feel like she would understand. How can she explain that is in love with Emma, but that the love is not mutual? All she wants is to tell Emma how she really feels about her, to just give her a kiss and see how it feels. Instead, Sabrina is stuck in limbo as she is afraid to tell her mother what is on her mind and afraid to tell Emma due to the possibility of Emma being grossed out and wanting nothing to do with her. If there is one thing that Sabrina simply could not bear, it not even being friends with Emma. Of course, Emma is going to be far away at college very soon anyway, so why not share her feelings? Sabrina decides to tell her mother a small lie to get her to leave her alone for now.
Sabrina: Mom, it is fine. I will be okay. I just really do not feel like eating bacon this morning. Maybe just give me one of those croissants over there to get something in my stomach.
Bacon is perhaps the thing that Sabrina likes to eat the most, but she would rather lie to her mother about her love of bacon than tell her the truth. She has no idea how her mother would respond. And given that her mother is the only family she has, she can not afford to ruin their relationship. She has not even had the chance to experiment and discover whether she truly is homosexual or not. It really could be a simple matter of every single boy she had ever met is just not appealing. The thing is, without even getting the chance to kiss a girl, the only potential possibility at this point being Emma, she will not feel the slightest bit comfortable sharing those feelings with her mother.
Sofia: I really do wish that you would share with me whatever is going on in that head of yours. Whatever it is, I promise I will do whatever I can to support you. After all, we are really all each other have at this point.
Sabrina: I appreciate that, Mom, I really do. And I promise that everything will be fine.
How can she say that, when she has no idea if there is a lick of truth to any of it? Sabrina knows that her mother has been feeling rather ill lately and does not want to put any extra stress on her. She tries to hide it, but Sabrina knows that her mother is hiding something from her. So it goes in the Bello household, though. Both are keeping secrets from the other.
PRESENT DAY
The following is delivered to an iPhone in selfie mode:
"Alone again. Perhaps that has always been my destiny, huh? Not to sound too, uh, emo about it, but the only person in my life who ever loved me unconditionally was my late mother. My father certainly never cared one way or another for me. I do not have any siblings. I am in my mid 20’s and I have only ever had a kind of, sort of serious relationship one time. Ironic, is it not, that I am labeled a whore when I have only ever been intimate with one person in my entire life?"
Sabrina lets out half a laugh at the irony of it. Just because a woman posts sexy pictures on the internet, she is instantly an STD-ridden whore. That could not be any further from the truth, however.
"So yes, now with the departure of Mika and to a lesser extent, Celeste and Violet, to Supreme Championship Wrestling, I find myself completely and utterly alone. Celeste and Violet are much, much better wrestlers than me, so I completely understand why Mika would want to take them with her, but are they not just tools to Mika as well? Celeste has already sort of figured that out, right?"
Sabrina shrugs and sighs heavily.
"I am sure her and Violet will be just fine no matter what happens in SCW and I wish them both well. As for Mika? Look, she clearly played me for a fool and I can live with that. It is what it is, right? She had me under her spell and at the end of the day she gave me an opportunity to ascend to SCW with her, but I failed to do so. As it turns out, however, that really is a mixed blessing as I never have harbored any great desire to destroy Emerge. I have my issues with Danny Darko and I really felt like it would be fun to raise a little hell, but it turns out that the only thing I wound up with was an empty feeling. It could be said that I sold my soul to Mika and I am precisely where I deserve."
She actually smiles a little bit now as her mood strangely brightens a bit. Certainly not what you would expect.
"While it was fun to kind of go along for the ride, to see where all of that mischief was heading, to be a part of something naughty, it ultimately was nothing more than a temporary high. You know, kind of lot a cup of coffee or sugar. For a short while I felt like I was at the top of the world, that I could do no wrong, but it was all nothing but a false illusion. I was under the spell of Mika and I felt like she chose me because she believed in me. I felt as though there must be something special about me since she told me I was. It is almost as if that was a psychological version of The Killing Joke she utilized against me. She clouded my mind and I lost track of several things in my life that used to be very important to me. One of those things is that just because I believe that I am superior to those I step into the ring with, I actually have to earn each and every victory. Does it matter in the end if I feel like I am better than someone like Mya Denton if I fail to earn a win each and every single time I step into the squared circle?"
Sabrina pauses for a good while just letting the emotion poor out of her now. For perhaps the first time in a while, she is being honest with herself.
"NO!!! I am better than nobody if I believe I am going to step in there and give anything less than 110% I am better than nobody! And THAT is the mindset that I have to have right now if I am going to turn all of this around! Jennifer Helms is the Spirit Champion! Her second match and she already has a championship to her name! How terrible does that make me look, right? I have have at this for a few years now and I have yet to win a single championship belt. The whole of the Emerge roster has every reason to believe I am a ridiculously bad wrestler. How about the irony of someone calling themself unbreakable, only to suffer a broken ankle that kept them out for half a year? I am fully aware that this is pretty much rock bottom for me right now, but sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you realize what needs to be done!"
There is certainly a more renewed energy about Sabrina now and her body english is great. She appears to be feeling much more confident and sure about herself.
"And what needs to be done at Emerge 14, is I need to step into that ring and beat the ever loving shit out of Lilith Evans, Kaito, and Miss Misato! I have already talked at length about Miss Misato, so I will not waste any more time talking about that weirdo. And Lilith Evans? She is a known commodity, is she not? She is kind of in the same boat as Mya Denton in that she can be certainly be dangerous, but if you are ready for what they have to offer, you can definitely overcome it. I know who you are, Lilith. And I respect you just about as much you deserve. Especially in a four way match, I know you are more than capable of taking advantage of any situation.
The person I see as the true threat to me here is Kaito. This dude is one hell of a talented fucker. I have watched a lot of video of him in action and there is certainly greatness and an SCW contact in his future. Just like Jenni Helms, he has a very talented mentor. So, much like her, I am expecting him to be far more ahead of the curve than one might normally expect. He is rather mysterious and seems to be a bit insane from what I gather, which always makes someone far more dangerous than those who are a little more in touch with their sanity. I will do my best to be ready for anything he throws at me!"
Sabrina nods her head vigorously up and down, continuing on with a much higher level on intensity.
"Alone again. Yes, I am. But it is when I am alone that I finally remember who the fuck I am. I am not a tool to be used and casually disregarded and discarded. I am not some lovesick girl, always falling in love with women that never reciprocate my feelings. I am not a bottom-dwelling, loss-eating, self-doubting little girl. No, I am the woman who survived her father leaving when she was only 7 years old, the woman that survived her mother dying when she was only 18 years old, and the woman who has survived being alone almost every single goddamn day of my life!!! I have survived all of that and starting today, I will begin to thrive! No more wallowing in the depths! It is time to turn this motherfucker around! And I will do it all. By. Myself."