Dawn Lohan vs. Kimberly Williams

[The Matt]

2 of 2
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February 23rd, 2022
Boston, Massachusetts
On Camera
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Loud, exciting, vibrant music begins to play. The camera then opens to a set. There is a stage on one side with a brown desk and five chairs. The showy, almost carnival like music continues to play as the words “To Tell The Truth” flash over the screen. The cgi words fade and then we spot “The Phoenix” Marie Annabelle Jones step onto the stage. She is wearing a black knee length skirt, black sheer pantyhose, black patent leather high heel pumps, a red silky blouse, and her signature black leather jacket. The fact that she is dressed up at least semi-nicely is the only way we can tell that this is Marie. Her twin doesn’t dress anywhere near this nice on a regular basis.

“Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for everyone’s favorite game show…TO TELL THE TRUTH!”

Applause and cheering can be heard piped in from the background. Marie takes a bow for the fake audience. “You know the rules of the game. We will bring out three people, all claiming to be a certain individual…tonight, that person is Dawn Lohan! All three of these panelists are claiming to be Dawn Lohan but WHO is really telling the truth? It is up to our contest tonight to figure that out! So please welcome the contestant, the rightful and future SCW Underground Champion, the reigning SCW Television Champion, and the soon to be SCW World Champion, she is KIMBERLY WILLIAMS!!!”

The loud applause from the piped in fake audience can be heard. A few moments later Kimberly Williams comes skipping happily onto the set. She is dressed in camouflage pants, flip flops, and a black t-shirt with the word “I Groped Shaun Cruze” written on the front in pink lettering. Her long red hair cascades freely to past the shoulders. Her SCW Television Championship title belt is wrapped around her lovely waist.

“I gotta say, Kim, you look amazing.” Marie gushes. “You have such natural beauty. That face is sooo gorgeous!”

“Your face is gorgeous too!” Kim says winking at Marie.

“Now before we begin, would you care to tell everyone what charity you are playing for today?”

“The Woman Scorned Foundation. It is a wonderful charity whose mission is to kick the ever living crap out of Juneau Frost, convince Shaun Cruiserweight to give me a shot at the Underground Championship against Oktoberfest, and to find new and inventive ways to take a piss on this championship’s legacy…” Kimberly pats the Television Title belt that is wrapped around her waist.

“That is indeed such a noble cause, Ms. Williams; now let me explain the rules. Three people will come out here, all three of them claiming to be Dawn Lohan. You will get to ask these individuals a series of questions to try and determine which one of them is the real Dawn Lohan. Do you understand?”

“Uh-huh!” Kimberly nods her head.

“Then let’s begin by introducing our three Dawn Lohans!”

The loud exciting game show music begins to play again. First to walk out is Leviticus. The deranged showman and self-proclaimed Marketing Guru is wearing a modest looking sun dress and is donning a blonde wig. Levi curtsies for the camera which draws a loud applause from the piped in crowd noise. Next the always loyal and trusty Dalek comes rolling into view. The only strange thing about Dalek is that it is painted entirely red for this occasion. Finally a short blonde female walks onto the stage. She is wearing wrestling gear similar to Dawn’s. More applause is heard from the piped in audience. The music eventually dies down and Marie continues.

“Panelist number one, please introduce yourself.”

Leviticus steps forward. “I am Dawn Lohan! Please pre-order your copy of ‘Dawn Lohan: The Movie’ in stores…soon!”

“She sounds very convincing.” Kimberly says. “And financially prudent!”

“Panelist number two, please step forward and introduce yourself.”

The Dalek steps…or rather rolls forward… “ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE!”

“Shut the hell up, rustbucket!” Kimberly shouts angrily. The Dalek immediately becomes silent. Marie smiles and continues.

“Panelist number three, please step forward and introduce yourself.”

“And make sure you say the words you were told to say or I WILL hurt you!” Kimberly adds menacingly. The third panelist steps forward and looks a little scared as she begins to speak.

“Uh…I am Dawn Lohan…the next challenger to the SCW Television Championship…uh, was that good enough?”

“Perfect.” Kim remarks.

“Now Kimberly, it is your task to figure out which of these panelists is telling the truth? Who is the REAL Dawn Lohan?”

“Does that mean I get to talk now?” Kim asks. Marie nods her head. “Goodie!” Kimberly happily claps her hands as she turns to face the three panelists. She steps to Leviticus first, looks him up and down. She looks at his hairy legs and shakes her head in disgust.

“Piece of advice, if you wear a dress or skirt, SHAVE YOUR DAMN LEGS!” Kimberly steps up to the Dalek next. She pats it on its domed head. “Great paint job.” Kimberly then steps up to the third panelist. The poor girl shudders in fear.

“Please don’t hurt me…”

“I won’t hurt you. Yet…” Kim smirks. Williams then steps back towards the center. She points towards Leviticus. “Panelist number one! Tell me a little something about your family.”

“I have two sisters. One is Abi and she fucked Jordan…wait, so did I? That means Jordan pulled off sisters?! I need to talk to her and get some tips…”

“Get to the point Lev…I mean Dawn!”

“Right! Uh, yeah, and then there’s Britt, who is a massive monstrous tank delivering destruction and lattes to anyone and everyone, depending upon if you are Holly, Kennedy, or someone else. She is a real war machine.” Leviticus flexes his muscles. “GRRRRR! It’s clobbering time!”

“Alright Thing, back that ass up…” Kimberly motions for Levi to step away. Kim turns to the Dalek. “..now if my memory serves, Dawn was at one point part of a weird cult thingy. Tell me about that?”

“ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE!”

“Uh, Dalek…”

“ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE! ABANDON ALL HOPE!”

“DAMN IT! SHUT UP!” Kimberly kicks the Dalek. It silences again. Williams rolls her eyes. “Sorry I asked…” she steps up to the third, and most frightened, panelist. “Soooo panelist number three, you’re up. Tell me, what do you do for a living?”

“Uh, I’m a wrestler. I wanna become Supreme Champion. And, uh, I’m facing you for the Television Title on Breakdown tomorrow.”

“That’s right.” Kimberly nods her head. She lets out a soft chuckle. “You are challenging me for this.” She pats the Television Title belt that is wrapped around her waist. “Do you think you have a chance in hell at beating me, Dawnie?”

“Uh…no?”

“WRONG!” Kimberly snaps angrily at the panelist, causing her to jump back in fear. “I know you aren’t the real Dawn Lohan. Because whether she is a goodie two-shoes, a brainwashed cult follower, or a jilted lover, one thing Dawn is and always has been is a fighter.” Williams turns to face the camera.

“I actually respect that out of you, Dawn. Despite my every effort to sell you the SCW Television Championship over social media, you continued to balk. And I don’t think it was because of your sister Brittany advising you not to trust me. I mean, just buying this piece of tin from me for the small price of two dollars and change would be the easiest way to get one step closer to becoming Supreme Champion. Supreme Dawn is what you want to become, right?” Kimberly sneers and nods her head.

“We all need to have our goals and you have yours. But you don’t want to just be handed it over to you on a silver platter. You want to earn it and I respect that. I am the same way. I have never wanted anything handed to me. I only wanted what I had rightfully earned. I still have yet to receive my rematch for the SCW Underground Championship from when Lucas Knight beat me. I beat the likes of Syren and Autumn Valentine and other legends in this company’s history and yet I was passed over so that Oktoberfest could get a shot and now Justin Davis gets a shot. And yet Juneau Frost acts so surprised that I’m raising hell? Your sister Brittany acts surprised that I’m taking a piss on this championship’s legacy?” Kimberly chuckles again.

“Thanks again for that suggestion, by the way! On Breakdown I fully intend to take a piss on this very championship title belt sometime before the match begins. What is Shaun Cruiserweight gonna do to me? Strip me of the title? Shit, I’ve already tried to sell it. I never wanted it in the first place. Shaun Cruiserweight is just trying to appease me by giving me this Television Title, giving me a shot at the World Title, knowing full well that the only thing I really ever wanted was the Underground Title Match that I deserve! I am not asking for something that I haven’t earned like some of these whining entitled little bitches in this pathetic company. I have more than earned my shot at any championship I wanted after beating some of the top stars I have beaten. And all I asked for was a shot at the Underground Title. When I get it, I don’t expect the champion…assuming its still Oktoberfest by the time it gets back to me…I don’t expect him to just roll over for me. I expect him to put up a fight.”

She points a finger at the camera. “Just like you want to fight to earn this. I respect that, Dawn. Now don’t get me wrong, the offer is still on the table. I have others who have expressed interest in purchasing this, but I offered it to you first and I will honor that offer. If you change your mind, I will sell it to you for two dollars and forty five cents. Just give me the cash and I will lay down and let you pin me to get one step closer to Supreme.” Williams throws her head back and cackles. “You may wanna wash it thoroughly though. I will definitely have pissed on its legacy, literally and figuratively. To be perfectly honest, Dawnie, I don’t even know why you would give a damn about this championship’s legacy. Why won’t you help me burn this legacy to the ground by taking me up on my generous offer? I mean, what the hell has SCW, the roster, or its fans done for you lately? The last I checked everyone seems to be on Jordan’s side in your whole lover’s squabble. None of them gives a damn, they don’t even care to hear your side of the story. Just like none of them give a damn about my side of the story, about how I was wronged. You and I should be on the same page, Dawnie. We should be allies, not enemies.”

Kimberly sighs and shakes her head. “But I have no delusions about how this will ultimately turn out. This is professional wrestling, after all. And like I said, you want to earn this…the ‘right way’...whatever ‘right’ means nowadays. Lately ‘right’ just means whatever the fans think. Lately whoever is ‘right’ and justified translates into who is the most popular, who sells the most merchandise, who gets the biggest pops out of the crowd.” She points at the camera and then back at herself. “You and me, Dawn, we may are right in our respective cases. We are both justified in our respected issues. We have both been wronged. Yet we are both automatically in the wrong for no other reason than the fans say so, and because Shaun Cruiserweight says so.”

“I make this one final appeal to you, my friend; because you are a friend. Nothing that happens tomorrow night or in the future will ever change that. So I make this one final appeal to you out of the friendship our families have had for so long; be my ally tomorrow night on Breakdown, not my enemy. Let’s stick it to Shaun Cruiserweight and the idiot fans.” A devilish grin forms upon Kim’s face. “But if you choose to fight me, if you decide you want to wrestle this championship out of my grasp, then let me warn you right here and right now that I will hold absolutely nothing back. And if you don’t believe me, just ask my sister. I kidnapped her once!”

“It’s true, she did.” Marie says, nodding her head.

“Or maybe if you don’t trust Marie, then ask your sister Abi. Abi is one of my best friends in the entire world. I have maimed her on more than one occasion. We’re still friends, but the fact is that I have maimed her and I would maim her again if I needed to. If I am willing to maim my own family and my best friend, imagine what I would do to you?” Williams shrugs her shoulders. “We don’t have to find out though. We don’t have to go to that dark place. But I have no qualms about going to that dark place. As you have seen ever since the end of the year special, with each successive show, with each match I have been in, I have gone to a darker and darker place. It feels like home. It feels comfortable. I enjoy going back to that dark place, Dawn. The deeper I go, the more I feel like I don’t want to go back. I just want to get darker, more violent, more evil. If we fight tomorrow night on Breakdown for this television title, then you will learn just how deep into the darkness I have traveled. We can do this the easy way or the hard way.” She points a finger at the camera. “It is entirely up to you.”

Kimberly cackles nastily. “So would the real Dawn Lohan please step forward and choose your destiny?” Williams throws her head back and laughs. The game-show style music begins to play again. The music continues to play as the scene fades to black. Eventually the music also fades away.