Wolf & Williams vs. Happy Farmstead Friends

[The Matt]

2 of 2
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July 29th, 2022
Las Vegas, Nevada
Off Camera
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Rise To Greatness weekend has arrived and The Woman Scorned, the reigning SCW Underground Champion Kimberly Williams, is going to very busy. It begins with the pre-show on Saturday when she defends the Underground Title against Deanna Frost, it continues on the main show when she challenges for the SCW World Tag Team Titles alongside Sarah Wolf in a Happy Farmstead Fight…whatever that is…Kim, for her part, really has nothing against Penguin or Bear, the reigning champions. Sure, she did kidnap penguin and tortured him quite a bit several months ago. But for Kim it wasn’t personal, it was just a random act of chaos. The real grudge is being held by Sarah Wolf. Penguin eliminated Wolf from Taking Hold of the Flame and she has had it in for the children’s show host ever since. What does Kim get out of this other than a shot at tag team gold? Entertainment. That’s really the only reason she has been assisting Wolf in her pursuit and torture of The Farmstead Friends. She finds this incredibly entertaining. And leaving Rise To Greatness as a double champion would just a nice bonus, icing on the cake.

Not everything is obvious about The Woman Scorned. In fact, she is quite the enigma; a real mystery. But even an agent of chaos like Kimberly Williams would prefer to train for this extremely difficult and challenging weekend. After all, Kim is already double booked and potentially triple booked if she has her way. Competing in three matches in the span of two nights is a real challenge for anyone, even someone as deranged as the Queen of the Death Match. In previous years, before big nights such as this, Kimberly would spend every possible minute in the build up to the big night preparing her strategy and battle tactics. Things are different this year. For the first time ever in the professional career of the typical loner and psychotic Kimberly, she is actually attending a fan event, a meet and greet the day before the official beginning of Rise To Greatness.

Sitting here at this table signing autographs for all these men, women, and children, fans of Supreme Championship Wrestling, is not her idea. Doing so in a nice gold business-style skirt suit and blazer with matching heels is also not her idea. All of this is the brilliant brainstorm of Kim’s new agent, Eduardo Hernandez. Hiring an agent to manage her affairs was also not a plan. This happened by pure happenstance. Hernandez ran into her backstage at an SCW Breakdown. After constant pressuring despite constant rejections from The Woman Scorned, Hernandez finally succeeded in convincing Kim to give him a chance. It was more of a verbal agreement, really. Kim agreed to hire him and give him a chance, to try out this vision he had for her career on the condition that Hernandez would first convince the Massachusetts district attorney to be lenient on Carol Johnson, the woman who assaulted and attempted to kill Kimberly months ago.

Well, to the surprise of Williams, the sleazy agent actually came through with his guarantee. He talked the district attorney into being lenient on Carol. And as for Kim, she may be a crazy agent of chaos but she is also a woman of her word. Besides, Hernandez also promised that his vision would present Kim in a new light; that he would present the REAL Kimberly Williams to the entire world. Kim has long wanted people to see her for the good person she actually is. Maybe this man can actually get the job done? Kim was willing to give Eduardo Hernandez a chance at managing her affairs. What she didn’t expect was for much of her day to day routine to be upheaved and changed by this agent. She did not expect to have to start doing public appearances and autograph signings and she certainly did not expect to have him change her entire wardrobe and appearance.

“Make it out to Cindy.” Teenage girl says. Kim remains stoic, not even sporting a smile. This definitely isn’t her cup of tea but she promised Hernandez she would do this. She quickly uses a marker to scribble her name on the picture the girl hands her. Kim passes it back.

“There ya go kid.” She walks off. Next up is a boy, late teens or early twenties, with brown hair. He immediately pulls up his shirt to reveal his stomach.

“Make it out to ‘My Favorite Bitch’!” The boy sounds somewhat drunk as he says this. Kim actually sports a bit of a smile upon hearing this. She rises up out of her with the marker in hand.

“Don’t mind if I do…” she uses the pen and quickly writes the phrases on his stomach and then signs her name underneath “...now scram.”

“WHOO!” The boy staggers away. Next up is another guy, this time in his mid to late twenties. He definitely looks dazed and confused. Kim can even smell the alcohol on his breath, indicating his intoxicated state. If she wasn’t already regretting this, she is definitely regretting it now.

“And what do you want?”

“Sign my ass!” And sure enough the man pulls down his pants part of the way, just enough to reveal his bare ass. Kim is willing to do this but just as she approaches to sign his posterior the security comes over and snatches the drunken man by either arm. “Hey! I paid good money for this fan interaction bullshit!”

“Indecent exposure, mister.” One of the security guards responds as they begin to take him away. The man doesn’t make it easy for them as he struggles mightily. He looks at Kim and begins to shout.

“Marry me, Kim! I devote myself to be your concubine, mistress!” The woman Scorned watches as he dragged away. She sighs as she sits back down at the table.

“Ah…my fans…”

“Yes, you do have fans.” The voice startles Kim only a little, but she does quickly recognize it. She turns and sees her agent, Eduardo Hernandez, standing there behind her. How long has he been there? That much is unclear. Kim rolls her eyes and motions to the drunk man being carried away by security.

“These are my fans, Eddie. Is this your idea of helping my image? Is this your vision?” Kim asks with notable sarcasm in her voice. “I think I get drunks and public nuisances on my side without your help.”

“I understand the frustration, Ms. Williams.”

“Kim!” She exclaims as she pops up out of the chair and gets nose to nose with Hernandez. “Quit the formality bullshit!” Kim is thoroughly angry and Eduardo can tell. He points with his finger at the line of fans waiting to meet her. The Woman Scorned rolls her eyes. “Gimme a second, will ya?! I’m busy!”

“Is everything ok, Marie?” Kim hears another familiar voice approaching from the left. The deranged ginger turns in time to spot her identical twin sister, Marie Annabelle Jones, approaching. She is dressed in a knee length black skirt, black patent leather high heel pumps, and a red blouse.

Kim knew that Marie was in Vegas. She had bought Marie tickets and encouraged her to show up in support of Kim’s performance at Rise To Greatness. Marie promised to be here, so Kim expected her, but she just didn’t expect her this early. The Woman Scorned grins ear to ear as she snatches her twin sister by the hand and drags her over to the table.

“Come here, Marie.” She pushes Marie down into the chair. “Sit and sign my name onto whatever these Kimmymaniacs want.”

“But I’m not…”

“You’re not me. I get it. But hey, I took your place many times. I think you owe me.”

“But…” Marie looks at the line of fans and sighs “...I think they’ll know it isn’t me. They’re not stupid.”

“We’re identical!” Kim smirks. “They won’t tell the difference!”

“Whatever.” Marie sighs. “I’ll do it.”

“Just be careful. Don’t sign any asses.”

“Any what?!”

Kim ignores her twin sister’s protests; instead, she walks right over to Eduardo Hernandez, who has been waiting patiently for Kim to return. The Woman Scorned is definitely in rare form. She seems uncontrollable and nearly ready to snap. He hopes he can calm her down by complimenting her on her appearance. It works on most women.

“Ms. Williams, may I say that you look lovely today.”

“I what?!” Kim walks threateningly towards him. Eduardo slowly backs up until he can back up no more, he is up against a wall, nose to nose with Kim.

“I mean…Savannah obviously did a wonderful job helping you with your wardrobe. You look fabulous.”

“Oh this?” She motions to herself. “This is all Savannah’s idea, not mine! These shoes hurt like fuck and are putting me in a rather foul mood…which come to think of it is a good thing because I can take out my frustrations on DeeDee McFrosty tomorrow night and then The Farmstead Freaks on Sunday…”

“But you must admit that you look lovely.”

“Says you!” Kim exclaims angrily. “This is YOUR vision of who I should be! It isn’t mine!”

“Perhaps, but trust me when I say that this new image will improve your favorability amongst the public. Those fans of yours out there, two of which so far were drunk, one wanted you to sign his posterior.”

“His ass!”

“Same thing.” Hernandez grins. “Your old, crazy antics gained you the crazy fans. But a more classy and refined Kimberly Williams will earn you a more classy and refined fanbase. Not those…” he sighs “...those freaks.”

“Watch it, Eddie! Those ‘freaks’ are my Kimmymaniacs!”

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Hernandez begins, quickly backtracking “...but your current fanbase…the Kimmymaniacs as you call them…they will always love you and adore you. But my methods will increase your fanbase tenfold. You will add new, classier fans to your legions of Kimmymaniacs. Isn’t that what you want?”

“To be honest with you I am not sure what I want anymore.” Kim says out of frustration. “Hell, I don’t even know why I bothered to let you manage my affairs in the first place. I should just fire you right now and do my own thing like I used to.”

“Now, now, Ms. Wil…uh, Kim, let’s not be hasty. Remember, you wanted the world to get to know the real you. And I can do that.”

“Wrong.” Kim points out. “I wanted you to convince the district attorney to back off and be lenient on Carol Johnson. You did that for me. So the way I see it, I don’t really need you anymore.” Kim grins nastily.

She reaches out with a hand. Hernandez is trembling with fear. Surely Kimberly wouldn’t do anything in public, would she? But then again, Kim has a reputation for being insane and doing the unexpected. He braces himself but Kim only places her hand on his shoulder. She laughs softly.

“What’s wrong, Eddie? Did you honestly think I would physically hurt you out here in front of witnesses?”

“Well…maybe…?”

“Oh, Eddie, you don’t give me enough credit.” She pats him on the back. “So far I have been annoyed by Savannah trying to change the way I look, you cramping my style with this autograph signing, and you even put down my fans? This ‘vision’ you claim to have for my future is not working out so far.”

“I understand you are frustrated but Rome was not built in a day.”

“We are in Vegas, NOT ROME!” Kim shouts. “What does Rome have to do with anything?!”

“Uh, nothing?” He sighs and shrugs his shoulders. “Look, all I’m saying is give me more time. Give the vision time to come to fruition. Finish the public appearances, such as this one. The people will appreciate what you are doing.”

“Look, Eddie,” she points to Marie signing the autographs on Kim’s behalf “that’s me finishing this public appearance.”

“But that’s your sister.”

“No, it’s Marie pretending to be me. But don’t worry, I will give your vision more time to work itself out. For future public appearances I will even wear this stupid ass getup that Savannah bought for me. But you are NOT going to fuck up my wrestling career. I do things a certain way in SCW and I do it for a reason. You are definitely not going to involve yourself in my Rise to Greatness business. That is the limits of our partnership for now, until I change the terms. Are we clear?”

He gulps. “Crystal clear, Kimberly.”

“Good.” The Woman Scorned kicks her shoes off and tosses them in Hernandez’s face. “Now take these. I’m leaving.” Kim walks away barefoot, leaving a stunned Eduardo Hernandez behind.

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July 29th, 2022
Las Vegas, Nevada
On Camera
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The narrative voice of Peter Cullen…or at least the computer generated version of Peter Cullen…is heard…

“From days of long ago,”
“From uncharted wrestling promotions across the planet,”
“Comes a tag team…”

We see an image of Kimberly Williams flying onto the screen followed by an image of Sarah Wolf flying onto the screen.

“...the legend of KIMMYWolf, DEFENDERS OF THE MULTIVERSE!”

A see a really terrible photoshopped image of Sarah Wolf’s body with the head of Kimberly Williams plastered on top. The knife glove affectionately known as Betty White is photoshopped on the right hand and the Infinity Gauntlet photoshopped on the left hand.

“A might tag team,
“Loved by the Kimmymaniacs…and, uh, whatever Sarah calls her fans…
“FEARED by Penguins, Bears…The Frosts…Lawyer Dog…and probably Jonathan Knots…”

We see video of Sarah Wolf brutally beating up and bloodying Hairless Penguin inside the steel cage from a previous Breakdown.

“As KimmyWolf’s legend grew,
“Chaos settled in throughout professional wrestling,
“In SCW, an alliance was formed,
“Together with other chaos makers and flayers,
They maintained chaos throughout the company!”

Suddenly we see images of Penguin and then of Bear, both Penguin and Bear have devil horns and devil tails drew on in red crayon.

“Until…a NEW RIDICULOUS GIMMICK
“Threatened the tag team division!”

We see another terribly photoshopped image, this time it is Kimberly’s body with Sarah Wolf’s head prohotshopped on.

“KimmyWolf was needed once more!”

We see images of Kimberly Williams maiming Penguin with her knife glove and Sarah attacking the bear.

“This is the story, of the violent team, of death match warriors!”
“Specially trained, and sent by that dipshit Shaun Cruiserweight,
…TO BRING BACK…”

The image of Kimberly Williams pops up on the screen and to her left is an image of Sarah Wolf. The SCW World Tag Team Championship title belts are photoshopped around their waists.

“...THE SCW WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP!”

The image of Kim and Sarah side by side remains with the tag title belts photoshopped around their waists. Just then we see the real life Queen of the Death Match riding into the scene from the right, riding her animatronic dinosaur Blue the Velociraptor. The dino stops near the center of the screen. Williams then hops off of Blue. Kimberly is wearing black dress pants, black boots, and a black sleeveless blouse. Her SCW Underground Championship title belt, HKW Bloodlust Championship title belt, and Unsanctioned title belt are all wrapped around her waist.

“By now you know that yours truly is the number one agent of chaos here in SCW and as your Underground Champion I plan to spread that chaos all over this company, beyond the mere realm of the Underground division. Now when I see Penguin and Bear, the Happy Farmstead Friends, I just get big grin on my face! Those two children’s show rejects bring a smile to psychotic face! I know my new worstie and tag team partner at Rise To Greatness wants to brutally maim them and, in her words, flay them. I already heard that she wants to end them at Rise To Greatness. And I get that, I really do. I have definitely wanted to maim my own fair share of idiots in my day. But I actually love Penguin and Bear.” She cackles nastily.

“Does that surprise you, kiddies? Does that surprise you that the Queen of the Death Match loves the Farmstead Friends? Well let me explain why…Penguin and Bear represent everything I have been preaching from day one about chaos. This is an idiot dressed as a penguin and an idiot dressed a bear and they are the reigning tag team champions? You have so damn many great formidable teams out there, any combination of The Brand would be a formidable and legitimate tag team champion. Stick my cousin Glory Braddock with literally anyone and they would be a legitimate tag team champion. But a freaking penguin and bear? Two children’s television rejects? They are our tag team champions? Now THAT right there is the ultimate example of chaos and I LOVE IT!” She smirks knowingly. Then Kim shakes her head.

“Now don’t worry, Wolfie. You are my worstie and I promised you that I would live up to my end of the bargain, I would help you win the tag team championship at Rise To Greatness and I will. Despite the chaos these Farmstead friends are bringing to the company, I will assist you in your championship quest. You know why? Because the beautiful irony of it all is that the dimwitted Shaun Cruiserweight is asking me to. The tag division so damned depleted right now, this Penguin and this Bear have literally made a mockery out of Shaun Cruiserweight’s precious tag team division and there is literally no one else for him to turn to except you and I. Asking you is one thing, you have a legitimate beef with them. It makes sense in his stupid little head. But Shaun Cruiserweight hates my guts. He doesn’t want to admit that I am right about him and the outdated way he runs things around here. The fact that he has to ask you AND ME to save his precious tag team division from a fucking penguin and bear, a pair of children’s television show hosts, is absolutely brilliant and I just cannot turn that down! So have no fear, Shaun Cruiserweight! I will swoop in and save the day, I will salvage what little respectability is left of those tag team titles now that they’ve been held by a pair of animal idiots for so damn long!” The Woman Scorned points a finger at the camera.

“Penguin, Bear, I just want you to know that none of this is personal. Just like I told DeeDee McFrosty, it isn’t personal between you and I. Now there is a bit of a difference. I actually like DeeDee McFrosty. But YOU? I don’t like you. I don’t dislike you, either. You two are just kinda there. What you two ARE for me is entertainment. Watching Sarah chase your ass all over arenas all over the world trying to skin you and make rugs out of you, it’s been fun to watch. It’s like Halloween and Friday the 13th, it’s like watching Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees stalking their prey. The only difference is that typically virgins survive the massacre. You two are definitely virgins, I’m sure of that. No woman in their right mind would give you idiots the time of day. But despite your virginity, you are still going to have your blood spilled when the killer catches up to you. And that’s the kind of horror feature I enjoy…the kind that the bad guy wins!”

“The only question that remains is what kind of match are we going to beat your asses in, anyway? It’s supposed to be a Farmstead Fight but does anyone know what the hell a Farmstead Fight is?” Kim looks around to her right and left, almost as if she is expecting an answer. Then the ginger shrugs her shoulders. “I have no clue. Is there going to be a sing-off involved? If so then me and Wolfie definitely go this! As DeeDee McFrosty can attest, I have a set of pipes! Or maybe it can include a dance off? I have been known to bust a move or three. Another great idea could be a good old fashioned food fight. Do you know what Socrates’s last words were before he died? It was ‘alright, who the hell spiked this drink with POISON?!” Kim throws her head back and laughs.

“Better yet, how about we just make up the rules as we go along? I mean, that is the very definition of chaos. You Penguin, you Bear, you created this mess simply by virtue of existing. You had to turn the tag team division into a joke…you had to turn it into what I deem to be the perfect example of chaos. So of course you two clowns were bound to attract MY attention eventually! You lured me here, boys! You pissed off Sarah to the point that she wants your heads on pikes, but you LURED me here with the chaos your created! Since you created this problem via chaos, why not just finish it with chaos? Unleash the inner insanity. Let go of your humanity…which shouldn’t be hard since you two are animals, right?” She winks at the camera. “Embrace the BEASTIAL RAGE that you pretend to have. And then you two, me and Sarah, we will paint Vegas red!”

Williams sighs and shakes her head. “Ah but I think you realize that it doesn’t matter what a Farmstead Fight is, I think you recognize that it doesn’t matter what the rules entail. Sarah is pissed and from what little I have gleamed from her by observing her and interacting with her, I can tell that she is one bitch who will not stop until she gets what she wants. And then there’s me. Ordinarily I wouldn’t care anything about hurting either of you, but I promised Sarah I would help her take you down and become tag champions and I may be an agent of chaos but at the same time I am also a woman of my word. So Penguin, Bear, this is my piece of advice to you two…take your heads, stick them between your legs, and kiss your stinking asses goodbye!”

Williams hops up on the back of her animatronic dinosaur, Velociraptor Blue. Her and Blue ride off. The scene fades to black.