Selena Frost vs. Bree Lancaster

[SnowQueenSCW]

OOC: And here is the second roleplay. It jumps ahead several weeks from the first to take place the week before Breakdown. Promo is aired the morning of Breakdown. Enjoy and best of luck, J!

 
I of the Storm

“Christmas Curse”

Tick...tock...tick...tock

Selena could faintly hear the seconds literally ticking away from the grandfather clock as she sat in the closed space of the balcony. The windows in front of her were drawn to keep the cold out, despite her desire to feel it on her pale skin – she had no desire to make her impending companion sick – but the door behind her, which lead back inside her Manhattan home, remained open. The colourful lights of red, gold, blue and green from the Christmas tree in the corner sent a cascade of colours along the walls and floors, spilling near Selena's vision. Additionally, there was a nightlight in the kitchen area that allowed the Snow Queen a view of the room near her.

And it was a beautiful sight. Green tinsel, mistletoe, a gingerbread house on the table made of gumdrops and graham crackers and other goodies. It was impossible for the Snow Queen to take it all in with one glance. Still, it warmed her heart as she tried to. The Frost family had done amazingly well decorating their home in the week Selena had had off following the Pay-Per-View Bound by Blood, SCW following its traditional week-long rest following such events. And while she was still uneasy about the Christmas season actually starting tomorrow with the arrival of December, she was more than excited for tonight...now...

Tick...tock

“Oh shut up...” Selena whispered in a mixture of good humour and nervousness, more to herself than to the actual clock – who wouldn't listen to her anyway. The only thing that clock would obey would be the batteries that ran it – unless she or Deanna made it reverse time itself... Selena smiled at that memory. Halloween had been odd this year but it had ended far better than she had feared. True, Elsianna had been confused beyond reason over how she could have possibly 'slept away a whole day' and suddenly arriving at November the second, but after Selena had told her that the Snow Queen, herself, had slept days away after exhausting matches and Deanna had confessed that she had slept days away when she gave birth to Amiliah – a child-friendly way of saying she had been in a coma – the young child seemed to have accepted the notion and moved on and, for that, the Frost wives had been grateful.

Tick...tock...

It had probably been less than a minute since Selena had paid attention to that clock, but she could not stop the nervousness that was creeping in. What was taking Deanna so long? We're running out of time... Selena thought as she checked her phone, the time reading 8:43pm. She also checked for any sign of an incoming text message – she was expecting some kind of notification from Eric. Fortunately, there was none. With an impatient huff, Selena lowered the cellphone back beside her, reaching over to scratch her socked foot. She didn't like what she was wearing in that moment: blue jeans and a shoulder-less blue sweater with snowflake designs that decorated the top around the sleeves and her chest – for she and Deanna had often dressed in either their nightgowns or simple clothes.

It made what usually followed this event... easier.

The thought only bothered Selena more as she stared at the brown, wooden box sitting in her lap. She wanted to stay and do just that. Make love to her beautiful wife. It wasn't like they had been through a dry-spell, per say, but...

Selena shook her head. Perhaps making love to Deanna, fulfilling her and showing the redhead all the love Selena had for her, would have helped things, but there was no point in wishing on what-ifs. They had used their single miracle a few weeks ago for Halloween. Now, Selena needed to put SCW as the priority, especially when she was finally getting the United States Championship opportunity she had been waiting so long for. Then, she would help Deanna with whatever was bothering her. In fact, this whole evening had been at the insistence of Deanna – giving Selena hope that she would be departing with her heart high and her confidence for Breakdown soaring.

It had been the younger Frost that had insisted that Selena leave earlier for Breakdown than usual to settle into wherever she was staying, allowing more time for Selena to fine tune her strategy against Bree Lancaster. True, Selena had studied as much as she could of the current champion, but the platinum-blonde could not deny that there were distractions here – three children, a dog, and a beautiful wife that Selena couldn't quite keep her hands off – that made things difficult. So, it had been decided that Eric would pick Selena up tonight, get her to Little Rock by Saturday, allowing her to spend Saturday settling in and then Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday working out and preparing her strategy.

That had really only left one problem left.

”What about Yuletide?” she had asked earlier.

Selena's created holiday – her personal substitute for Christmas, created in her youth to aid her in her  heartbreak over losing her father – had grown over the years into her own tradition, now as much part of who she was as her birthday or other beliefs. And while Christmas was still celebrated in this household by Deanna and the children, Selena kept Yuletide to herself usually - only Deanna knew about it and only Deanna was allowed to share in it with her, as she had last year when the redhead had finally told the Snow Queen that she was pregnant with Amiliah.

Selena was grateful that there would not be as life-changing surprises this year. No, everything was pleasant and calm going into this holiday season. Only Deanna being reserved and quiet the last few weeks – but Selena had seen moments where that had stopped. 

Tick...tock...

“Come on, pet...” Selena whispered, reaching up to rub her hands together. Why was Deanna cutting this so close? It had been her idea! Yuletide, for Selena's own sake, had few rules – just a few games and events of celebration to the gods and bring merriment. The only rule that Selena followed was that, no matter where she was, she would celebrate the first night of Yuletide with the ringing of the bell – that being December 1st. As the month would pass, the other events: Find the constellation, exchanging the precious gems, exchange of gifts, and the burning of the yule log would all be incorporated individually at different nights one at a time – but this night was important! And Selena wanted to share it with her wife. For Odin's sake, she was willing to follow Deanna's idea and do it technically three and a half hours early just so that they could celebrate the start together. But Selena had waited almost forty-five minutes for Deanna to shower and change.

I better... the platinum-blonde started to decide as she began pushing herself to stand. However, as she stood and turned her head to the door, she was surprised to see an emerald-green nightgown and a black shawl wrapped around the small frame. For the briefest of seconds, because the features were difficult to see in the dimly lit space, Selena feared that Sirus was, once again, rearing her ugly head to cause trouble – the Snow Queen wouldn't have put it past the phantom to show up at such a time as this. But as the woman stepped forward and into the space of other lights, Selena recognized her beloved. Her hair, which was now beyond 'pixie-cut', was only a few centimetres from reaching her shoulders. With a sigh, Selena felt her nerves calm a little – but only for a moment. 

There was a tension that she could not place but she saw it in her wife's posture, the younger woman's hands held behind her back.

“See...” Selena tried in an attempt to break the tension. “Now I feel overdressed.” she added with a wave of her hand over her own frame.
“Well...” Deanna shrugged. “I rather Eric not see you dressed like me-”
“Oh, he's seen me dressed in a nightgown-”

Selena stopped immediately as she saw the stunned expression on her wife's face, confusing the Snow Queen. “What?” she asked. “I've worn pyjamas on the bus, Deanna. You know that – you've done it countless times.”
“Oh...right.” was the only answer Deanna could give.

“Okay... what is up with you?” Selena asked, her voice a mixture of confusion and concern.
“What do you mean?” the redhead asked, adopting an expression of confusion that reminded Selena so much of Amiliah – the baby adapting to its new world as it grew.
“I mean, you've been acting weird for weeks now. One minute, you're affectionate and loving and the next you're cold and distant. Then later, you're clinging to me like I'm going to disappear and then I blink and you're guarded. Seriously, Deanna, what is it?”

Deanna opened her mouth as if to speak but no words came out. The only sound was the cold wind blowing outside and against the windows.

“Is it because I've been focused on Breakdown? I'm sorry, but you know how much this really means to me!” Selena tried. “With the title and my promise...”
“It's not work.” Deanna whispered, finally giving an admission of sorts that something was up.
“So, there IS something wrong.” Selena analyzed.
“I think you know that something is wrong.” Deanna replied, remaining rooted in her position.
“How would I know?” Selena asked. 
“Really?” Deanna's voice seemed to be trying to guide the Snow Queen. “There's nothing you can think of that would cause me to be confused, hurt, guarded, scared... nothing that's happened recently?”

With a huff, Selena racked her brain, going over every recent event in her head. Only a few stuck out in her mind that Deanna would possibly know about. “Was it because I...” she looked around to make sure none of the children were awake and roaming the house, looking for their mothers – still, she dropped her voice to an even quieter whisper, just in case. “Was it because I bit you too hard the last time we made love?”

Deanna winced a little at that memory. It had been during one of her moments of 'clinging to Selena' in fear of what the redhead knew. Her passion had become desperate, needy, causing the platinum-blonde to go along with it, releasing some primal needs of her own.

Reaching up with one hand, the other staying behind her back, Deanna rubbed her neck, where only a yellowish bruise remained – the only remaining visible sign of such lovemaking – and shook her head. “That was my fault.” she whispered.

“Was it because of Halloween?”
“No.”
“Did I say something?”
“No.”
“Then for Odin's sake, Deanna, what is it?! I'll apologize for whatever it is!” Selena implored before her eyes gazed down at the wooden box by her feet. “I just want to share the first night of Yuletide with you. If that's bothering you-”

“Here!” she finally said, revealing the hand behind her back. Inside the small hand was a light-blue pouch of smooth fabric. Deanna held it out to the platinum-blonde.
“Deanna – gifts aren't till later in the month.” Selena stated in confusion. “I don't have yours ready yet.”
“It's not a gift.” Deanna stated, her tone flat. “I tried for weeks to get you to talk to me before now because of your 'Christmas Curse' but -”

The nerves that had come and gone were back again, gripping Selena's spine, imploring action as they often did when Selena found herself in danger in the SCW world. Slowly, she reached out to take the pouch from Deanna, immediately feeling something sturdy within it. It took only a second for Selena to pull the pouch strings open and one more second to have the item tumble out of her hand – quick as those seconds were.

The third second – where Selena's eyes gazed at the item... and recognized it... however, felt like a damn eternity. Because, even in the dimly lit room, she recognized the neck. She recognized the crowns. And she sure as hell recognized the bottle cap.

“Recognize it?” Deanna’s question – jagged and sharp in tone – was the only sound as both women stood there. How long Selena gazed into the glass and paper of the Crown Royal shard in her hand – she wasn't entirely sure. Her phone wasn't vibrating or sounding off, which meant that it wasn't as long as she thought it was, but that didn't tell her much.

Gods... was all she could think. That and: She knows...

You didn't even need me to fuck this up, did you? the voice of Sirus mocked inside the Snow Queen's brain, her sarcastic laugh adding to Selena's panic.

“How...” her voice was timid, weaker than it had been a moment ago when she was demanding truth from Deanna. Which was what Deanna had been wanting all along from me... “Where did you find this?” she settled on asking, finally turning her head to see her wife, holding up the piece of glass and decor to the redhead.

“What?” Deanna asked in surprise. “No denial? No blaming me for drinking red-wine?”

The accusatory tone stung Selena more than she was willing to admit aloud. She took it, remaining silent. There was no running from this now. This was the confrontation she had dreaded back in Halloween. 

The Snow Queen's silence earned a huff from Deanna, who merely reached up to rub her temples. “I found it in your work-room with your trophies.” she explained. “After what we did for Halloween.”

“In my-” Selena started, trying to put the pieces together. She had thrown an empty bottle against the wall months ago and had cleaned the mess entirely, or so she thought – had that shard remained hidden all this time? Apparently so... 

“That's... a relief.” she settled on saying as she paced around the balcony. “I thought I had gathered them all – and I can't bear the thought of something like this-” she held the piece up to Deanna as she continued “- being somewhere the children could get it- HALLOWEEN?!”

The realization hit Selena harder than a kick to the stomach by – well, numerous SCW superstars she had fought in her career. “You've known all this time-”

“Oh my gods – don't you dare turn this around on me, Selena Michelle Frost!” Deanna suddenly exclaimed. “How come you can admit that...thing's...existence so easily now?!”

The question startled and confused Selena but her wife pushed on. “You lied to me! You've been lying to me for... I don't even know how long!”

Even in the dim light, Selena could see the tears welling in Deanna's eyes. “After everything... everything with the NX, with the other painkillers - you made me think that I was poisoning you. That I was risking putting you in danger because I used wine in cooking...”
“Deanna...” Selena tried but a swift hand held up in front of her by Deanna silenced the platinum-blonde. Selena was actually surprised her wife hadn't slapped her in the face.

You certainly deserve it. Sirus chimed in.

“You...” Deanna's voice broke several times as she tried to speak. “When all along... you were drinking... that.” she pointed to the shard in Selena's hand. “How long?”

Selena's jaw tightened. She didn't want to talk about this right now. Not on the first night of Yuletide. This was supposed to be a happy occasion! Of merriment! Like earlier today when the family was finishing decorating the house and planning the Christmas Festival night for the neighbourhood!

“Selena.” came the cold voice of her wife. “Either tell me the truth right now or...” her voice hitched in her throat but her hands tightened into fists as they stayed by her side against the emerald-green nightgown. “Or I will pack my bags right now, take the children and you will return home – maybe with your precious new title – but it will be to an empty house.”

Selena's heart stopped – or it sure as hell felt like it did. Never, no matter how many times she had screwed up had Selena messed up so badly that Deanna had threatened this. It was beyond her beloved wife – it wasn't what two people as in love as they were would say or do! It was... it was...

It was what someone like Anastasia would have done... Selena thought would dread.

“You...You would do that?” she finally asked, the shock in her shaking voice.
“I...” Deanna's voice did not hold the conviction it had from the beginning, nor did her posture. The tears that had welled in her eyes were falling freely now and, every so often, in the silence, Selena would hear the patter of them as they dropped to the floor by her beloved's feet.

What happened next, Selena would look back on and not be able to understand what had prompted her to do it. She certainly had no reason to consider it, but she did consider it and she acted on it. Without thinking, the older Frost simply took the few steps towards Deanna. The redhead, startled, took a step back but Selena quickly closed the distance, wrapping her arms around the smaller woman and pressing her to her form.

“I'm sorry I lied.” she said simply and it was that line that her sapphire eyes allowed her own tears to fall. Tears she had not known she had been holding.

“Why?” came the muffled voice as a pair of small hands clung to Selena's sweater. “How long?” the new question was also muffled, but when Deanna started repeating both questions over and over again, Selena could feel her wife's hands turning to fists to swat at her chest.

“Why? How long? Why? How long?” the questions continued as Deanna's 'assault' and tantrum rained on Selena. The platinum-blonde did not move, nor did she release her embrace of Deanna, even when the strikes stopped and Deanna's words had muddled into sobs. With those sobs being the only noise between them for a few moments, Selena took a shaky breath before speaking.

“Do you remember that night I almost drowned?” she asked, her brain taking a small note over Deanna's shaking form slowing slightly. “Out in the backyard? You pulled me out and you couldn't stop my panic attack? Do you remember what you did?”

No words came from Deanna's lips but, against her chest, Selena could feel her wife's head slowly pick up a quick nodding of sorts – a sign of understanding. 

“That's when it started.” Selena admitted.

There was a deep, long breath that came from Deanna as she slowly, but firmly, pushed herself away from Selena. Her eyes were red and while her shaking was still there, it had slowed. “So...” she sniffled a little and rubbed her eyes. “It was my fault.” she concluded before she began walking back and forth on the balcony. “You know... ever since I found that bottle piece, I was terrified that you would say that. That it was that night that made you start again-”

She stopped for a moment, turning her head back to Selena, in sudden realization. “That night we went to the bar with Jessica, did you drink then, too?”

It took only a moment for Selena to recall the memory and, upon doing so and fearing the consequences of lying, she nodded her head. “Only a little. That's all I've ever had. A little here and there!” she tried to reassure. “Just enough to keep Sirus at bay!” she blurted the last part out.

And mentally cursed herself for doing so.

“Sirus?” Deanna asked. “Sirus - as in Evangeline DeWinter's daughter?” 
“Not...” Selena's words failed her for a moment, the pale-skinned woman closing her eyes to try and recapture them to speak.

Go ahead... dared the ghost in her mind. Tell her about me.

“Not exactly.” Selena settled on saying.
“What does that mean, 'not exactly'?” Deanna asked. “Sirus died, Selena. Evangeline killed her.”

The remark made Selena shake her head, a sarcastic smirk appearing on her face, though she did not mean it to. “You know I never got how you got over that so easily.” she stated, turning to stare down her wife. 
“Get over what?” Deanna asked. “We didn't kill her.”
“Of course we did, Deanna!” Selena all but yelled. “Who was it that lead Evangeline to her? Who was it that revealed her location to her? Who was it that betrayed Nicodemus in doing so?!”

“That isn't fair...” Deanna countered. “We could not have known what Evangeline and Brachiss would do-”
“Brachiss no, but come on, Deanna! Nicodemus warned us what DeWinter had done! We've seen how far she can go! But we did it anyway!”

Deanna opened her mouth to speak but closed it. 

“Face it.” Selena ordered. “We had a silver bullet and we were so eager to use it and rid ourselves of our own problem that we didn't consider how it could all go wrong! If it weren't for us, Sirus would be alive.”
“What? Brain-dead in a nursing home?!”

The remark came from Deanna and both she and Selena were stunned into silence by it, the redhead's hands even flying to her mouth in shock. 

“If it was me in that bed...” asked Selena slowly.
“Don't...” warned Deanna.
“If I were brain-dead...”
“Don't you dare!”
“Would you so easily pull the plug on me-”
“Don't you fucking dare!”
“Would I be so easy for you to dismiss as Sirus?!”

And THERE came the slap Selena had thought would happen earlier, her cheek stinging as her wife refused to hold back as her hand ripped through the air, and though she was shorter than the Snow Queen, Deanna did not cower away, her emerald eyes glaring into Selena's.

“We killed her, Deanna. It's our fault.” Selena stated simply, her voice low in volume.

Despite the facts, Deanna shook her head in disbelief. Perhaps they had inadvertently played a part but to place the blame solely on them for what Evangeline and Brachiss had done? “Is that what you have done all this time? All these months? Blame yourself?”

When Selena refused to answer, Deanna's brain started to click and turn with possibilities. Despite so many opponents of Selena's in SCW taking cheap shots at her – Regan Street even, at one point, trying to give her 'wifely' and 'motherly' advice in dealing with Selena – Deanna was not the dumb, naive woman that those same people pegged her for. And no one – not a soul alive – knew Selena Frost like she did.

“You've been seeing her, haven't you?” she finally asked. “Just like when you lost Elsianna. When you lost Dawn. When you thought you lost me. Your mind created these... ghosts, right?”

Again, nothing but silence came from Selena – which only prompted the redhead to continue.

“And when that night happened and I gave you the bourbon to calm you down – and you realized that it was like medicine-” Deanna's head jerked back to face her wife, her own words sparking something. “That's what it is to you, isn't it? Medicine to keep you functioning?”

“It's...” at last, the Snow Queen spoke. “It's a solution. I'm glad you can understand that-”
“Understand?” came the incredulous response. “Understand?! My god, Selena! You're an addict! You were an alcoholic before I met you! You told me as much and I've seen your need for NX in the past! Why the hell would you risk that again?! And without telling me!!” 

“Because it's not like the other times.” Selena stated firmly. “Because I'm very much in control. I never drink more than a shot. No more than that.”
“Yeah, for now!” Deanna shook her head. “You started only taking one pill of NX when you started, right? Then you had to take two because it wasn't working as well.”
“This isn't physical pain, Deanna-”
“Addiction is still addiction, Selena! Or were you the one that nearly OD'ed on that crap?!”

Again, the Frost wives were at a stalemate at Deanna's blunt response. Neither could use the other's ignorance as a defence. Because both had suffered from the different poisons Selena had brought into their lives because of her job, her family connections and her own demons. Her pain and fear in SCW had brought in the NX that Deanna had almost overdosed on, and now, her pain and blaming herself was bringing in alcohol. Quietly, Deanna thanked the gods that she had no such addiction to that – but that didn't remove her fears for her wife.

“You need to stop.” Deanna stated. “Quit cold turkey. I'll remove all my cooking alcohols and wines so there's no temptation.”
“See?” Selena sighed. “This was why I didn't want to tell you! Because you would take this overboard! You drank more than me when we were at that bar with Jessica!”
“I don't have a prior alcohol addiction problem.” Deanna retorted.
“Oh that's...that's...”
“What?” the redhead offered. “True?”

Selena took a deep breath. “If I want to have a little drink to take the edge off and allow myself to focus, I will do that.” she stated firmly.
“Even if you fall off the wagon completely?”
“That WON'T happen, Deanna! For Odin's sake – I hid it from you since August and if you hadn't found that shard, you'd still not have a clue!”

Deanna seemed to physically recoil at that statement. “You think I didn't suspect? That I'm that dumb?”
“No!” backpedalled Selena. “I'm saying I'm that in control! Why can't you understand that?”
“Because I've seen you lose control, Selena! And it takes so little to do it! But once you have...”

'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling!
And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly!'

The lyrics to Cascada's 'Everytime We Touch' filled the balcony – the first dance song of Selena and Deanna's wedding, as well as Selena's ringtone. Jerking her head down towards the floor behind her, Selena spied her phone – the screen illuminated against the dark wood of the balcony. Bending down, she scooped the device up to answer the call.

“Eric?”
“Yeah, I'm pulling up.”
“I'll be out in a minute.” she finished briskly, ending the call and stuffing the phone into her pocket before turning her attention to her wife. “So...this was your plan for tonight? First night of Yuletide, put me on the spot...”

Slowly, Selena's words registering in her brain, Deanna slowly shook her head. “Don't pin this on me, Selena. I tried to get you to come clean for a month.”
“Other than outright confront me.”
“Coming from you? Do you have any idea how unfair you sound?” Deanna shot back.
“Yes, I do! But it doesn't make what you planned any less wrong! All I wanted was to share the first night of my holiday with the woman I love, and you took it and did...this...”

“You're the one that kept this secret from me for months! The only reason you're admitting it now is because I caught you.”
“Oh, like how you hid your pregnancy from me until I caught you last year?!”

Check...and mate... Sirus's voice slithered, almost as if she were whispering it behind Selena's ear. Even Deanna, her emotions having shifted from tears to anger to fear back and forth stood there, a look of utter defeat on her face. Perhaps what Selena had used was a low blow but it was no less true. Deanna, like Selena was doing, had hidden something life-changing for months from Selena, even lying about it until Selena had caught her.

Even Deanna was thinking the same as Selena was: How could the redhead claim the moral high ground when she was just as guilty as her wife?

Taking a deep breath, Selena bent down to pick up her wooden box of Yuletide. “I'm going now.” she stated, and marched past Deanna. Her SCW-travel case, the large suitcase with roller-wheels and the arm extension for pulling was at the door, and through the mudroom windows by that door, the Snow Queen could see the bright lights of her tour bus shining outside. 

For a moment, the platinum-blonde wondered about what she should do with her box. Perhaps moreso ego winning out, she simply tucked it under her arm, using her free hand to pull the suitcase arm out. As she turned around, however, possibly to say goodbye to Deanna, she saw no sign of her wife.

Don't leave it like this... her heart told her, finally making its voice known. Christmas Curse be damned – do NOT end things like this! Not just for her, but for you – you will lose so much if you do. Your focus, your heart – please...

Closing her eyes with a sigh, Selena relented to her heart's pleas and walked back the short distance to the doorway to the living room. She saw her wife standing in the kitchen, going through the cupboards. The redhead had already dug out three bottles of various cooking wines, Selena seeing the various colours of red and white, similar to the lights on the Christmas tree.

She tried to speak but could not find the words right away. Instead, she could only watch as Deanna used a corkscrew to open each bottle and pour the contents down the sink. It wasn't long before the smell of wine wafted into Selena's nose, making her feel a little queasy. 

“Deanna...” she finally tried.

The young woman stopped, but kept her back to Selena, not wanting her to see her face.

“I'm...” Gods, this was hard. “I'm going to go win the United States Championship.” she offered lamely.
“Good luck.” muttered Deanna.

Selena thought for a moment, not having a single idea what to say or do. Should she kiss her wife goodbye? Should she apologize?

For a moment, Selena imagined something rather differently. She imagined defeating Bree Lancaster and becoming the United States Champion. Of travelling home as soon as the house shows of that week were done in Jonesboro, Tupelo, and Biloxi – returning home to her children that would love the brand new 'shiny' their mommy brought home – to her wife that would smile and congratulate-

”I will pack my bags right now, take the children and you will return home – maybe with your precious new title – but it will be to an empty house.”

Deanna's earlier threat, one Selena had never heard before from her wife, reared it's ugly head, causing the Snow Queen to grip the doorframe tight until her knuckles had turned an even paler-white. “Deanna... I... please promise me you'll be here when I return on Sunday.”

Little movement was made by Deanna, but Selena saw her wife's hands tighten along the rim of the counter-top, matching her own in colour. She gave no answer.

“Deanna...” Selena begged. “I can't leave if you don't promise me that.”

There was the sound of a shaky sob and Deanna lowered her head a little. “Fine.” the word was a whisper and Selena barely heard it, but the rest was picked up easily. “I promise.”

It made Selena's heart a little lighter and heavier at the same time. Lighter because of the obvious and heavier because she couldn't tell if Deanna was seriously considering leaving her. No...I can't lose her... what's the point of... she stopped the train of thought, refusing to give in to the negative more than she already had tonight. Casting one more look at her wife, Selena sighed.

“Maybe I love you.” she said to Deanna's back.

She was met with silence, and while it didn't surprise her, Selena did feel her heart break into pieces – a pain she had become familiar with her whole life. “I have this under control, Deanna. I promise.”

It was all she could say – all she wanted to say. With a turn, Selena was out the door and out of the house. It wasn't until the bus was moving down the highway to Little Rock that Selena, clutching her wooden box of Yuletide in her hands, allowed her own tears to finish falling as she cried for a few minutes. She cried as she put her box away and she cried as she set up her laptop, webcam and microphone to record her first promo for Breakdown aboard her bus. She cried until she was out of tears, wiping them away with her hands.

I have this under control, Deanna. I promise.

She would not be weak like she had been years ago. She would not be weak like Deanna feared her to be. She was in control – a resolve that allowed her to finish wiping her tears away with authority. Of course, had she of listened to her wife in that kitchen... not left so soon... she would have heard the experienced voice of her beloved...

“Spoken like a true addict...”
___________________________________

The camera opens up to the Verizon Center Arena in Little Rock, Arkansas – the location for tonight's high-stakes episode of Breakdown. From the immediate first glance, it seems that the SCW crew have finished their setup of the ring, ramp and large screen. A series of white and arctic-blue lights, amidst the empty section of the arena, point downward towards the ring, where a single person is standing there, leaning against the ropes. She is dressed in a maroon shirt, leather jacket, and black jeans and her hair is in its iconic braid as she leans on the ropes, her eyes scanning the empty seats that are in front of her. The shot changes to a closer view of the woman – identified immediately by the viewers as the Face of SCW, herself, - Selena Frost.

I've gone on record and said that tonight is probably one of the biggest nights of my career. She starts, breathing deeply but quietly. It's right up there with the night I became the Adrenaline Champion and the night I won the World Title.

Because those nights, just like tonight, was more than just proving that I'm tough and capable of bringing a fight. It's more than just standing up for my beliefs and desires. It's more than just defending SCW against someone that has a problem with it. All those things can play a f actor but those are nights that I am use to... part of me wishes tonight was more like those. I'd be more in my 'element' of sorts. But like those other two nights, tonight is about proving that I am ready to reach the next step.

Standing up, Selena turns walks further into the ring, pacing inside as the camera follows her.

When I fought Thomas Watson for the Adrenaline championship years ago, it was to prove to the world that I was ready for singles championship. It was to show that I was ready to take that next step that other women like Dawn Lohan, Katie Steward, and countless others had taken before me – earning the top tier championships in what was, for most of its history, a male-dominated wrestling federation. 

And I succeeded.

Then, when I fought Alexis Quinne a few years later at the End of the Year Event for the World title, it was to prove something again, but more to myself. The world believed that I was ready to become World Champion, but... I didn't. This was more than just beating a great competitor like Alexis Quinne – that was something I believed, if I worked hard enough, I could do. No, I didn't believe that I was ready to handle the responsibility of being the World Champion. Of the camera all looking to me and saying “that woman is the best in SCW”. Of being the target of every single wrestler in this amazing company. But I couldn't run away from it – it had become my destiny: the end product of 'The Year of Selena Frost'. I had to at least try and see if I was capable of handling the main-event picture.

And I succeeded.

The Snow Queen stops as she stands in the middle of the ring, looking up at the lights above her.

And now, tonight, here in Little Rock, Arkansas, I have something to prove once again. And, like with the World Title, it's to myself, but like with the Adrenaline Title, it's also to prove something to the world.

A shrug comes from the Snow Queen.

Now, according to the champion – who was so thoughtful to throw us a little video while she was ducking reporters from TMZ – this whole thing that is me has been for show. According to Bree Lancaster, tonight is just about me pining for a title the last couple of months just so I can become 'Supreme Champion'. And according to Bree Lancaster, I don't care about any of you, about the title, or about anything except myself.

A slow inhale and exhale of breath comes from Selena as she leans against one of the four turnbuckles, crossing her arms over her chest.

I don't know whether to feel insulted or flattered by some of that. On one hand, Bree is using the exact same lines – like word for word – that she used against James Evans just last week for Bound by Blood. She declared that James didn't give a damn for Angelica Jones or the tag-team titles. That he was just using Angelica and the tag-team division to become Supreme Champion. Sound familiar? I mean, don't get me wrong – for a man that headlined Rise to Greatness and is now, in fact, a Supreme Champion, the fact that she's using the same promo material now in reference to me? That could definitely flatter me in a certain light.

But then again, the fact that Bree Lancaster thinks of herself so high and mighty that she can reach into her bag of 'old promo' material, dust off the one she just used last week and use it again against me and say that's 'good enough' for a United States Title defence sort of tells you where her mind is at and how she views me. And that, I find insulting.

Selena shakes her head. Once again, Bree, I am going to entertain your logic here. Since you seem to like to use that line so much the last few weeks – 'Supreme Champion' and whatnot. Let's say that I, Selena Frost, want to become a 'Supreme Champion'. she shrugs Why is that so wrong? After she defeated me at Rise to Greatness, Regan declared that she wanted to be Supreme Champion, rebranding herself as 'Big Match Regan'! Is she wrong in doing that? Is she less than you because she wants that status? Amy Chastaine – the woman YOU took out, fought for that status and became the first woman to do so – is she less of a wrestler for doing it? Ravyn Taylor spent months orchestrating a plan of deceit and trickery just so that she could become Supreme Champion.

So many people work so hard throughout their entire careers for the status of becoming Supreme Champion – yet you spit in my face because you think that that is my goal. 'How dare Selena Frost attempt such a feat'. Why, Bree? What makes me different than those before – those women and men – that are attempting the same thing?

You take the over fifteen years of SCW history – and only eight people have become Supreme Champions. Do you know how many women have held that status, Bree? Two. Just two. Two women in fifteen years have achieved the distinction of winning every possible title in their wake. If that were my motivation for fighting you here tonight, it certainly would be enough. To join the ranks of such incredible wrestlers and Hall of Famers. I see Dillusion backstage all the time and I know that he is proud of being a Supreme Champion. Jake Starr? The same. And David Helms? There is no doubt that he views such a feat as a highlight of his career. And to join them? Maybe you laugh at me and curse me and claim this is a selfish goal – but if it were my goal, Bree, it certainly would be worn with pride when I succeed tonight...

But it's not my goal. Not my reason for all of this.

Selena shakes her head, biting her lower lip.You know, for a woman that demanded that I 'check my facts', you sure are making a lot of assumptions about me, proving how little you actually understand what you are up against. I suppose the whole 'ignorance is bliss' concept worked for you up to a point, but I would have thought, after Bound by Blood, you'd understand how easy it is for you to be knocked off that pedestal you've set up for yourself. 

In fact, allow me to prove it by knocking you off it right now. Selena's sapphire eyes narrow slightly as she glares into the camera. You claim you're the only one out of the two of us who cares about the United States title, am I right? That Bree Lancaster is 'making that title classy' – that's what you said on Twitter and in your last title defence, right? 'Bringing class to the United States title'? 'Make it mean something...'?

Well, aside from that being cliche, I'm going to say what all that is, Bree: Utter crap.

It's crap because every single person in SCW sees the truth of it, and of you. It's the reason you spit on me about not 'earning the title' when you were just handed it by Regan Street. 

It's why you say that you “demanded” the ability to forfeit your shot for the Tag-Team championship – you say you did it for the United States Championship. Yet, when Jason Helms was taken down – suddenly, you were scrambling to keep the match going. You even threw your own work partner – a supposed beloved friend and a non-wrestler into the match, endangering him. 

Tell me, Bree. If you were so ready to 'forfeit' your shot and focus entirely on the United States title, as you said you did - why didn't you forfeit then? Why not just let it happen and the call to end the match be made? Oh, because Jason was no longer in the equation and suddenly, Bree, you could be champion without him – a DUAL champion! With dual championship bonuses!

Twirling her braid with her pale-fingers, Selena shakes her head. 'Bringing class to a title-' what cliched, utter crap – Bree, the truth is that, to you, the United States title was a sweet little consolation prize because you couldn't get the job done earlier this year! You conned and tricked your way through the world title series but when it came to the final match – the championship match – you couldn't deliver. You didn't want it enough to get the win. Then, when SCW – when Mr. D. – the people you claim are part of this massive conspiracy against you – gives you ANOTHER chance to win the title, what happens? You come up short again. 

And do you want to know how I know that so vividly? Because the last time Bree was set to defend the United States title, at Fatal Fortunes, she couldn't stop whining about Jake Starr and how she 'should have been World Champion'. Rather than focus on her title defence, she had to remind us all, just like Syren and Sienna (for most of 2018), that she should be world champion.

A slight laugh comes from the Snow Queen as she suddenly recalls something. I mean – what was it you said on Twitter, Bree? After Bound by Blood? That you were going to crush my dreams and, after that, you were going to demand your rematch for the tag-team championships. And this was BEFORE you went on your phone and recorded yourself telling me that you wanted to put the United States title first – yet you're already clamouring for that second title again...

As she stops the twirling her her hair within her fingers, Selena lowers her hands to look at them, the pale digits before her. But who am I compared to you, Bree? You want championships and those bonuses that come with them so you can 'pay for the services' of Dante and his crew. Who am I compared to that? What's the difference between you and me?

Actually, it's not much...

With a shrug, Selena lifts herself out of the turnbuckle, taking a few steps further into the ring. Because you were right – and you've been right this whole time about something. And at the same time, it's the one thing you've been the most wrong about when it comes to me. Back at Fatal Fortunes, you said that I've been drooling over the title you hold since Regan defeated me at The Future is Now, retaining it in a Falls Count Anywhere match. You also said that this wasn't about me 'saving the championship' or something along those lines.

And you are right: I'm not doing this with some goal like that in mind. I'm not here to 'make SCW believe in the US title again'. I'm not here to 'cleanse it', or 'purify it', or 'save it', or make it 'mainstream', 'classy', 'important' – honestly, you can claim all that, Bree – but the reality is that I am just someone that wants to fight for it and hold that championship. I'm just one wrestler that wants to be part of that belt's history. I'm not the first and I, sure as hell, won't be the last. 

I want to win the championship simply because I want to be the United States Champion. That's it. That's my goal.

So you were definitely right about that. However, what you've been wrong about over and over again is how far I've come to get to this point. How much I've gone through to get here. And it's baffling that, with Sienna in your corner, you never realized this.

I mean... did she even tell you why Regan Street became the United States Champion in the first place?

The question hangs in the air in silence as Selena stands in the middle of the ring.

Regan Street is a world-class competitor, Bree. A main-event level superstar. Why the hell would she target the United States title and not the World title then? Why would she waste six plus months in pursuit for the title you now hold? Know why, Bree? Because, like you, she had a chance at the World title and she came up short. That's right, Hazardous Envy 2017, Regan tried to take the World title from me. And she failed. She couldn't beat me in a straight up wrestling match.

So, do you know what she did instead, Bree? Again, just like you – she settled. She declared that she would go after the United States title for the sole purpose of getting back at me, albeit indirectly. Why? Because the U.S title was a title that Selena Frost had pined for before she became World Champion…

A knowing smile graces the Snow Queen's lips.

But wait a minute! Before she became the World Champion? that's back in 2016 – before she was even close to becoming a Supreme Champion. That's right, Bree. After I won both the Shot of Adrenaline Tournament and the Best of the Best Tournament back to back, I said to the world that I wasn't ready to be world champion. That Regan should be given a shot. Instead, I wanted to challenge for the United States Championship!

Selena looks down at her feet. With the Best of the Best trophy, I stood in an arena, much like this one and I made a promise to the world – a promise to myself – that I was going to take these tournament wins and win that beautiful title of red, white and blue, reaching a new level for my career to earn the right to truly be 'the best of the best'. 

But that... never happened. I became the world champion and thus was written off the board for any consideration for the title that I had promised to win. And I have no regrets for destiny taking me down a different path, but you, Bree, got all hot and bothered because you had to wait a few months to get another shot at the world title and then another few months to get a different championship shot at Rise to Greatness? 

Me? I had to wait over a year to get my first crack at the United States Championship. My first, and only, chance to keep my promise – and it took two women with chairs, tables and a barbwire cat-of-nine-tails to steal that dream from me. And now, here we are, a little over a year since that one chance and... now, finally, I have my second chance to keep my promise.

Lifting her arms, Selena then drops them to her sides. Do you get it now, Bree? Can you actually get off your high-horse and overused cliches and see me for who I am now? You're not facing some months-long ambition for some rare status. You're not facing someone like you that only wants the bonuses and is settling because they can't be the World Champion. I have Trios if I wanted to be World champion, remember? 

No... you're dealing with someone that has waited for two long years for this moment. Two years of that unfulfilled promise nattering away inside her brain, reminding her of her shortcoming. That notion how, even at my best – the Year of Selena Frost, supposedly – and I wasn't good enough to get the title I promised the True-Believers I would get. 

But that's what I have been trying to prove since August, Bree. Sienna, Regan, I imagine even you – you believe my time has come and gone and 2016 – the best Selena Frost could be – is a distant memory. Regan almost had me believe that after Rise to Greatness. Yet Mr. D. and the True-Believers, they believe that my best is still ahead of me. That my best has yet to come.

And I... I believe that as well, Bree.

I believe that now with all my heart, because here I stand, having earned my shot - on the cusp of doing what no Selena Frost, not even in 2016, could  do. Fulfilling that promise and winning the United States Championship. And, as dangerous as you are and as talented as you are, I'm just as dangerous and just as driven as you – because I have no intention to fail and wait another year for a third chance! No way in hell!

Taking a deep breath, the Snow Queen calms her heart in order to speak again. Tonight, Bree, I put an end to all those 'nevers' and I fulfill my two-year promise. I prove that I am better than I have been in the past, even compared to the great 'Year of Selena Frost'. Tonight, I become the United States Champion.

And you can cry on the shoulders of Beauty Network after that. You can swear 'rematch' all you want on Twitter and repeat every cliche line you have left as you steal my catchphrases. But you will NOT be leaving Arkansas with that belt. And it won't be because of some conspiracy. It won't be because of some 'grand plan' by Mr. D.. It will be just like Bound by Blood. It will be because someone wanted the belt far more than you did. 

Not for SCW.
Not for some status...
But just for me... For Selena Frost.

What else can I say other than…Believe it, Bree.

The camera fades on the Snow Queen standing in the ring, a smile gracing her lips as it all goes to black.