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OK, so Invasion… was quite a night wasn’t it? Title changes, the venue… oh who the fuck am I kidding? Invasion was good for one thing, we finally answered the age old question of how do you stop a monster. You find a bigger one. See, I’ve no doubt good old’ Sundown was feeling pretty good about himself when he damn near broke my back. I’m sure he believed he was unstoppable. But over the course of the last two events what have we learned?
ANYONE is stoppable. NO-ONE is beyond reproach. And seeing how the fuckwit Drew Bryant thought Sundown didn’t need making an example of, I did. Yet another example of why I should be General Manager.
But I digress, Sundown if your reading this, and I accept I’m making a huge assumption that you can read, making sure you didn’t win the RUSH Championship is only the beginning… YOU NEARLY PARALYSED ME you fucker. But you’re not a monster Sundown, you’re flesh and blood and you CAN be broken. And now I have the perfect weapon to do exactly that. All I need is Bryant to give us a contract…
Oh, and just in case you’re wondering how I got past security Drew and onto your little boat, wonder no more. Not everyone thinks you’re the blue eyed Billy big bollocks you think you are. I got friends treacle, friends who would rather see you fry in hell than run the GREATEST, and yeah I said it, wrestling company in the world. So word from the wise, listen to Sasha, and keep your mouth shut. And just watch as I get rid of your little infestation.
But, much as I love sounding my horn, there were other things that happened at Invasion, namely Vanilla Skyy defeating Mordecai, which although surprising, at least keeps Vanilla around long enough for Willow to finish the job for good. Who else laughed when Vanilla and Yvonne surrounded Willow, because I know I did. Vee should have stayed retired, and if I’m Yvonne, I read back my tweets recently and heed them because messing with Willow is not the best career move.
Talking of Willow, more people should listen to her, because more than anyone she tells the truth. Get this, this is all in a single day in the life of EMERGE. Mitch Sanders fucks up his opportunity by tripping over his own feet, and he gets a rematch. Jennifer Helms has been champion for AGES, and doesn’t even get a sniff. Just to show my lack of bias, I fuck up Sundown’s opportunity, does he get a rematch? No. So what the fuck makes Mitch so special huh? Don’t get me wrong, Mitch is an entertaining guy, no doubt about it. He showed against Willow he’s also VERY talented. But. What about everyone else huh? How does this make them feel?
What else… yeah, the Elimination Chamber… not a lot I can say about that other than the fact it has been rumored since then that The Heartbreakers, and Lilith and Mya have both taken their leave from EMERGE and decided not to take them up on the contract offer, the Modern Marvels rumored to be following. What does this mean? Quite simply, the tag team division is fucked. Not to worry though, Beard and Brody are still around though right? Well actually, although negotiations are taking place, they aren’t confirmed yet either. Seems Drew might have himself a little problem if he’s not careful. The roster was bursting at the seams when I was in charge… just saying.
The one OTHER thing I did enjoy about Invasion. The Battle Royal actually surprised me, perhaps even more so that the level of talent that took part. It was pretty much a who’s who of wrestling, and pissed all over Taking Hold of the Flame. In the end it was Kali who surprised all the bigger names and won the whole damn thing, and also it now looks like she has signed a full-time contract with the company. Fair play to Bryant for moving quickly to secure her signature, however even dicks like him get it right once in a while.
We are of course now in the middle of a mid-season break, which gives us time to get our ducks in a row, and over the next few days the contract picture will no doubt get a lot clearer. However, already confirmed for the 22nd of July Show, is that you, the fans, get the chance to show Drew Bryant how to book a wrestling show. Over the course of the next week, you get the chance to right a few wrongs so make sure you take that opportunity. If he has a roster left of course.
What else do we have going on in the big wide world? Did I mention I destroyed Sundown? Oh, I did? Soz.
Sasha seemed pretty set that EMERGE isn’t going anywhere didn’t she? All Drew’s fault apparently, but I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, EMERGE doesn’t need to be a part of SCW and would do better without it, but on the other that would mean Drew would be in full charge… a bit like the political parties in England regarding Brexit. Oh yeah, Dexxie has his finger on the pulse. Truth… I don’t think it matters how much money Drew has behind him, it’s not gotten a little personal. Best advice I can give to Drew is step aside, let someone else be the figurehead. Coz Sasha is a Drachawych, and we all know how stubborn they can be, and you could be damaging EMERGE by continuing on this path.
Hopefully on the next Uncut which will come out in July, I should be able to comment further on the comings and goings. As of writing, Donovan Street, Kali, Madeline Masters and Desiree Devna and Zosime Le Beau have all been confirmed for the second part of Season Two and I’ll be looking forwards to seeing how they go. As of this moment, those leaving have yet to be confirmed, but I am expecting some BIG names to walk away, some perhaps even to SCW confirming EMERGE’s need to leave.
So, some questions on social media
@TheIconlives asks do I still have any desire to run EMERGE? Seriously Icon… is that you Lando, I don’t. I’d rather just sit back and watch as Drew messes it all up. Honestly, even if SCW asked, I’d say no, I’m going to have too much fun watching my ‘true’ monster obliterate Sundown, and all of Tombstone if they get in his way. I’ve had people on my timeline claim I’m ‘scared’ that if it wasn’t for the helicopter, I’d have ending up floating in the ocean and eaten by sharks… Jesus people, if you’re going to troll, do it better. My Monster will take care of business, and that’s good enough for me. And once he has, I’ll go back to being a ‘keyboard warrior’ thank you kindly.
@Larpingaround has asked the question, what do I look for when I compile my Top Five? Well, I’d love you tell you that there’s some kind of magical formula, and that there is a science about it, but it’s all about the T and A… oh and if they look like they could suck my balls dry. Hope that answers the question lol.
@ForeverEmerge would like to know where I found my ‘monster’ and where does he come from? Well, that would be telling wouldn’t it? However, I will be looking for some airtime on EMERGE #25 if Drew allows it when I will answer all. Needless to say, I won’t be in Montreal… but believe me when I say I will be ‘represented’ and actions speak much louder than words.
Time for one more I think… what do I mean, this is my blog, I’ll write what I want. @TheCamelsToe enquires, what’s my biggest regret? Well, you don’t say whether that’s professionally, or personally so I’ll answer both. Professionally, it would have to be getting into bed with SCW in the first place, when I should have left well alone. Fair dues, it’s one of the biggest wrestling companies in the world, but you only have to look at the treatment of Sienna Swann at THOTF to understand how corrupt that place is. Personally, well I’m going to plead the fifth on that. Let’s just say that ‘love’ is hard to come by, and when you have it you shouldn’t ever let it go. I’ll leave it at that.
Wow, Dexter getting down and deep… shall we drag it back to its level and go for some top five action?
Let’s…
*cue random music*
Number Five, its Jordan Majors, who’s sneaked under the radar for a while but is now firmly in my sights. Not only that, looks like she’s doing the naughties with many time top fiver Abigail Lindsay. Tell me that there is footage somewhere guys… please.
Four, it’s Madison Chase, who’s appearance in the Battle Royal made this particular horn dog a very happy chappy. Honestly, what I would do just for one shot… do I have a chance? AS IF!!! Gavin Taylor, you are a lucky son of a bitch bro
At Number Three, it’s Abigail Lindsay, making it a double whammy from the hottest couple in wrestling. I’m sorry to go on, but if there is a sex tape, any underwear on the go, I’ll be more than willing to take it off your hands. Cute on the outside, animals in the bedroom, I betcha.
Coming in at Number Two, and much as I don’t like mentioning THAT company, it’s Aubrianna Powers, who is proof that the best things come in small package. With an ass to rack ratio second to none, and one of the prettiest faces around, she’d do well to plaster that face all over the EMERGE brand.
And finally, the top dog, that doesn’t look like a dog at all, and who in fact is probably one of the most attractive women on ANY roster. I’m going to go with, drum roll please… COOKIE!!! And I come to this conclusion because of two reasons… no not those two, two MORE reasons. One, she doesn’t take herself seriously like most of the drama Queens around here, and two… well she’s got a cracking pair of bazoomas.
Which, I don’t think can be debated.
Peace…
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